can get no satisifaction

[fredrolin]

I am sure this subject has been discussed before.

 

Lets say a man loves his wife, they have kids, have a happy home and have a good relationship.

 

But the wife is no longer interested in sex. The man is sexually frustrated. He wants to stay faithful but is it fair for him to live the rest of his life without sex?

 

Have other men lived this life? If so how did you cope?

 

Don't suggest that my wife see a doctor/ conselors, etc. We have already done this.

 

There is hugging and kissing and verbal affection but no sex.

 

help?

[batitm]

Have you discussed this with your wife? What are her reasons for no longer wanting sex? Maybe the kids, home, work, etc. have made her sexually undesirable. You say not to suggest counseling, have you tried this? I am a woman and IMHO there is something wrong that is making her feel this way. To just live like this is not fair to you, nor her (I'm sure it is causing her pain and disappointment as well). Try a romantic evening/weekend/vacation. This is an issue that must be addressed, I'm certain that two people who love each other can recover their sexual desire for one another with a little effort or professional help.

[deesgirl]

Have you told your wife how important sex is to you? Have you discussed the possibility of you going outside the marriage since she isn't interested?

 

You say she went to the doc. Did she go after the new female viagra came out?

[fredrolin]

Have you told your wife how important sex is to you?

 

yes

 

 

Have you discussed the possibility of you going outside the marriage since she isn't interested?

 

she would never allow this.

 

 

You say she went to the doc. Did she go after the new female viagra came out?

 

it's more than lack of sex drive. She isn't comfortable with her body, she has female medical problems, and feels sex is for "young people". she is only 41.

[Butterfly_Queen]

If she has been to the doctor and couselors etc, I'm not sure what to tell you. Its obviously is coming from her self-esteem and how she feels about her self, and that is something that has to come from with in to be able to fix. I wouldn't suggest going outside the marriage, I think that would create even more problems. I'm not sure what to tell you to do though. Guess I wasn't much help. Sorry you're going through this though.

[Matilda]

Originally posted by fredrolin

 

But the wife is no longer interested in sex. The man is sexually frustrated. He wants to stay faithful but is it fair for him to live the rest of his life without sex?

 

No, it is not fair, and it is unreasonable for her to expect that you will live your life without sex. Unless, there is some physical reason why it is impossible for her to have sex, she needs to realize how important this is to you, and your marriage.

 

I would assume she knows how important this is to you, what does she have to say about it?

 

Here is a link to my story regarding not wanting sex in marriage.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t24655/

 

I am 41 as well and I know I don't feel as attractive as I used to, but I do feel my husband and I know each other so well that the sex is much better than it used to be. We constantly have to work on making enough time for our relationship, and our sex life. I definitely don't feel that sex is for "young people".

 

I do wonder though, what her female problems are, and know that may be a legitimate cause for her lack of interest in sex. For example, if she is having pain or hormonal changes. However, I would assume that there is some sort of treatment for this problem, and if so she should be seeking this treatment.

 

It is hard to give advice when I don't know all the details, but I certainly understand that you may be reluctant to provide specifics.