misty123 Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 How do I get my husband to be more romantic. I don't really want a huge thing like candles and dinner. I want him to bring me flowers I have told him that it goes in one ear and out the other. Actually he had a ex that demanded flowers all the time to prove that he loved her. Well I just want them like twice a year minus holidays and such. I also would like him to take more time with for play. Every time we have sex it like he kisses me and expects me to get all excited. He tells me to make my self get wet. I am like I would if I could but you need to help too. Ever since we had our daughter we went into a sex slump. Now it is finally getting better. But he just expects me to be ready. I can see that it kind of disappoints him when we have to use lube because I am not ready. Can any one help with this. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 For the romance part- try Dr Phil- he's the only person I've ever seen really get results. To gain extra foreplay have it start befor you get in bed- tak a bath/shower tog- watch porn- Get a babyitter and ask Him out on a date (may help w/ the romance side too) The flirting and warm up to the bedroom may just give you the extra time you need to get excited. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 A agree, Dr. Phil. Some guys are socially condition to think romance is stupid. Then they wonder why their wives sex drive tanks. Foreplay starts hours before penetration, not minutes. Guys reading this, understand this one thing: If you spend all Saturday golfing with your buddies, working in the yard, etc., then spend the evening swilling beer and flipping through the channels with little moe than a grunt to your wife, and THEN at bedtime do the horny dog number on her, don't be surprised if you don't have very good sex or are rejected outright. Instead, let her know everyday that she's special to you. Stop and think of something nice that you can do for her. Little things; it doesn't have to be big. Make sure you touch her; hold her hand, give her a hug, or a little brush on her bottom when no one's looking. And talk to her for christsake! Let her know that you respect her mind, too. Draw her a bath and then give her a back rub. Or leave her with some lighted candles and a glass of wine while you get the kids ready for bed. Then invite her to bed. Concentrate on her, not yourself; it's OK, you do this right, you *will* get yours. These things are ao easy and they cost you nothing. But they can mean the difference between a devitalized marriage and a dull sex life and a exciting marriage and mind-blowing sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Jacksin Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 My first wife liked to be treated the way StartingAgain's describes. But after busting my balls working hard all week and going out to dinner on Saturday night, she wanted to be wined and dined like when we were courting. As hard as I tried to make it a 'prolonged foreplay' with all the small talk, touching and so on, by the time we got home and hit the sack I found I was simply too tired and rolled over and promptly fell asleep. I guess it was a case of 'not tonight dear I'm too tired' When I was rested and as horny as hell in the morning, she had icicles on her fun palace, because I didnt perform when she wanted the night before. Needless to say it wasnt long before I began to resent this. Jack Link to post Share on other sites
ladyangel Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 I agree with those recommending Dr. Phil. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 You make an excellent point Jacksin. When you're exhausted, it's hard to be a first-rate lover. This is a growing problem in America. The expectation is that we men are always raring to go, which is generally true when we are 22, but when you're 35, married, maybe with kids, working 50-60 hours per week and have the boss on your back constantly, the stress of life makes to to where you think "I'd love to, but I'm just not up (no pun intended) for it." Women suffer from the same thing. This is why it is important for couples to schedule "downtime" just for themselves. During this time, they focus on one another as lovers, not as mommy and daddy or partners with a household to run. My ex cared absolutely nothing for romance, and thought it stupid and childish. Our sex life became unsatisfactory for me, because her idea about sex was that a quicky on Sunday morning should be sufficient. Her attitude was "come up stairs and do me, but you need to do it now, since I have things to do." And that's what she meant to: do *me*. She didn't do much for me in bed; it was all about giving her pleasure. When I baulked about this one-sidedness, I was told I was being demanding and controlling. Nearly all my attempts to have a romantic evening were rebuffed. Sexy lingerie? Forget it; I shouldn't need "little costumes to turn me on." It was just too weird. I'd never known a woman to have such an attitude about sex and romance. Ladies, we men usually take the lead in sex (it's expected) and we enjoy being the persuers. But we also *love* it when you take the lead and let us know you are hot for us. About morning sex.... My experience is that most women don't care for moning sex. This isn't always true, but is the general case. We men wake rested, refreshed, and sporting a flag pole. We're randy. But women seem to wake much slower than men and sex seems to be the last thing on their minds. We also often wake in the night raring to go. But the fastest way I can think of to get into trouble is to wake a sleeping woman for sex! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
beck7ham Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 check out the website lightyourfire.com i ordered these cd's for my wife and I. we're seperated now and i don't know if i'll be able to use them... but they're really good. they have a section on romantic ideas. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts