JasminJ Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 [color=blue][/color][font=times new roman][/font] I have only been married for 2 weeks and I want out! My husband depresses me. I have been continuously raped and molested as a child and now I have no interest in sex or enjoy it. My husband wants sex all the time. I can't do that. I feel dirty. I need to bathe like every time after fast. A steaming hot shower. My husband also enjoys going to church. I am glad of that, but the church sees him more than I do. I am annoyed. What can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Go to counselling for the rape and molestation. Maybe marriage counselling too. Link to post Share on other sites
Juggs Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Whoa.... Had you discussed you views on sex with your husband prior to getting married? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 You really do need to see a counsellor. Make an appointment today. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 You need to see a therapist ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 did you assume you were going to live in a sexless marriage? from the sound of your anger, i wouldn't expect you to want or even be capable of having sex in your state of mind. so dont, right now, till you get help. in the mean time, reassure yourself that your husband is expressing his love for you, not trying to hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
Jasmin Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Go to a good sex counselor before you both need a doctor. Dont be afraid its best for both of you. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Originally posted by JasminJ [color=blue][/color][font=times new roman][/font] I have only been married for 2 weeks and I want out! My husband depresses me. I have been continuously raped and molested as a child and now I have no interest in sex or enjoy it. My husband wants sex all the time. I can't do that. I feel dirty. I need to bathe like every time after fast. A steaming hot shower. My husband also enjoys going to church. I am glad of that, but the church sees him more than I do. I am annoyed. What can I do? From what I understand of law, these are not valid reasons to file for a divorce. Seek counseling. If you wish, seek professional legal advice to determine if you have any justified legal reasons to file for a divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
average guy Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Does your husband know about your past? If yes, and he is being insensitive and demnading "sex all the time" you may need some time alone to be able to deal with your past first, and then be able to build a happy marriage as a couple later. I wish you the best luck A.G. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Yeah, what gives? Did you and he not talk about anything before getting married? Never had sex before? Or even talk about it? Link to post Share on other sites
echocrush Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 There are steps one must take when recovering from sexual abuse, and from your post I can guess that you haven't even begun the journey. You aren't going to find a man out there who feels the way you do about sex... So... you could get divorced, and live the rest of your life alone... Or you could seek help, and eventually see the other side to sex. A life of intimacy, desire... a closeness you will never feel in any other situation, the feeling of being totally loved, totally accepted, totally one with another person... I was molested too, by multiple men... and women... and I have struggled most of my life to develop healthy relationships too. I began life as a victim, with help I became a survivor... but now I am neither because I am whole. There will always be some remanat of that time in my life, but I can't change my past... What I can change is my future... and you have that power too... I promise... Call someone, get some help... there should be a womens resource center near you, they can refer you to a woman who specializes in this sort of thing. The only way you will get better is by helping yourself, that was the hardest thing for me to learn... no one else can do it for you, and running from it just means you are always looking over your shoulder waiting for it to catch up... I'm no longer ashamed of my past, no longer afraid of it... I want that for you too... Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Jasmin. There is life, love and desire possible after what you've been through in the past. My girlfreind went through sexual, emotional and physical abuse in her life. It takes time, trust and help. Find a good therapist for yourself. My GF still deals with it a bit today but she is happy. We do have a healthy sex life. Remember one thing. None of it was your fault. Link to post Share on other sites
reggio Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 You need to get help and fast. It will take time and patience from your husband, you will have to be honest with him when you take this step. Good luck, I'll pray for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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