Madam Linwe Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Actually, it's more like the cooling off period since it hasn't been 24 hours. My husband and I got in a small fight yesterday, so I was baffled when he started ignoring me. So, I left him alone, and went downstairs after putting our child to sleep. I came upstairs and he was gone! He came home at 11:30 last night. I was scared the whole time, crying, wondering of he left me. It was terrible. I guess my question is, how long should I let this go on? I already apologized, and I feel over 24 hours is to much. Not that it has been yet..also if he does talk to me..do I bring up the fact that it scared the snot out of me when he left? How much it hurt to be ignored? I I want my feelings heard, I just don't know if it' the right thing. I just wish it was over, that we could talk it out and I could be held..it hurt me so much when he left for a few hours..I thought it was the end of our relationship, and the longer this goes..the more ill believe that's true. Link to post Share on other sites
JazzyFox Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 what happened? You know, I often "disappear" for a little while when we have an argument. In part because I dont want to say something I regret, and in part because I need to make some order in my thoughts. When I get fired up, which is rare, I lose all sense of logic and I need to regroup, alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Taking a time out to cool down is one thing.....one thing you should be informed of. But the silent treatment and the disappearing act with NO communication sounds very, very passive-agressive, angry and somewhat controlling on his behalf. I would ignore the disappearing act, but I would demand a conversation about how you two, as a couple, intend to resolve conflict in the future. Running away, ignoring, and silence is the cowards way of punishing another and it has to stop now if you intend to have a healthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Breezy Trousers Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 (edited) Can you ask your husband to set a boundary or limits around the time he needs to be alone. Four hours? One day? If so, be respectful and give that time to him. It may be all he needs. Anything outside of that is abuse, not to mention childish. Don't tolerate or enable it. Don't plead or beg. Calmly tell him you'll be available when he's ready to talk. Then continue with your life. Stop focusing on him. Put the focus on you and your child. Talk to a friend for support, if you must, but don't feed his demon. It will only get bigger in your marriage if you do. Edited February 3, 2012 by Breezy Trousers Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts