machiavellian Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 If you make dinner for you husband/kids/SO, and tell them "Dinner will be ready in 30 minutes" and then also go find them in the house to tell them "Dinner will be ready soon, so finish up and come down", do you also go find them to say "Dinner is ready NOW, why don't you come down?" Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 At our house, if a person wished to eat, dinner was served at 5:30pm every evening. Only one place to eat it, at the kitchen table. When I was chief cook and bottle washer, my exW would call me when leaving work (I worked at home) and dinner would be served as she walked in the door. If she wasn't hungry, no problem. She could zap it whenever. It only got served once. I don't anticipate any changes if/when getting married again. Some things need to be consistent and the daily meal is one of them, IMO. It's family bonding, which is especially important for children. Yes, I realize I'm not a woman, but I was raised by a helluva woman and she taught me well.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author machiavellian Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Well I wish a few more men were as you come across here. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 After giving notice, I would just eat when the food is ready, then pack the food away. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 (edited) Well I wish a few more men were as you come across here. Perhaps it is a function of a 'traditional' SAHM household with a strong woman at the helm. I do recall if the phone rang at a fellow playmates house showing me late for dinner, I'd hear it from that playmate's mom and then get it again at home. It was a community of parents and we children were all responsible to any of them. No excuses. Times and technology and society may have changed, but I think there is still value and purpose for that traditional philosophy of family. I've seen the effects of 'chaos' and it's not a lifestyle I wish to embrace. Right now, the cat knows when he's going to eat (just did) and chicken tacos are cooking on the stove as I type this. I cook from scratch (ingredients) every day. Never too busy. It's a choice. YMMV Edited March 16, 2011 by carhill Link to post Share on other sites
mbm69 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I work outside the home and so does SO, but 95% of the time, I have dinner ready by 5:30PM and it is a rule that 5 nights a week, we all sit at the table and have dinner together. On weekends, we might sit around the table and watch a movie at the same time, but weeknight suppers are for sharing what everyone did during the day before we clean up the kitchen and do whatever is planned that night: homework, music practice, karate, etc... That's how I was raised and so was my SO. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 It would be very out of character for anyone in my family to not be at the dinner table at dinner time. It happens on occasion. When it does, I do go find the person and see why they haven't come to dinner. I won't go search the neighborhood for a late kid, but I will go to a bedroom to see what's up. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Maybe a description of your situation would help out more. In your shoes, I would just start eating and let their portion grow cold unless they were having an emergency. If cooking wasn't my 'job' (ie I'm not a SAHM), and this happens more often than I am comfortable with, I would try talking with them about this. If that fails, I will simply avoid the problem altogether by not cooking until such a time as they are willing to deal with this issue (works for SO, not for kids definitely). I don't see a point in cooking for someone if they are not willing to put aside a little bit of time to eat together with you. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 sorry not a woman either... but I shout from downstairs "supper's ready!" (just reminds me of an old Genesis - the band - song) ... they (wife included, if she is at home) kind of expect to be ready around a certain time (usually 7pm)... the problem is my teenager son, who's usually in his bedroom playing on his X-box with his headphones on... so I have to tell one of my girls to knock on his door and make sure he knows... Link to post Share on other sites
Linda9999 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 We track people down and tell them it's ready. If they don't come that's their problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Moanin Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 My husband will come home from work and ask "what's for dinner?" and my response is "whatever's in the refrigerator"....... I'm done waiting on him.. I don't mind cooking, but I get no help with clean up, groceries, etc....my husband and I both work full-time and I am the major bread winner..... I resent his lack of help around the house..... Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I agree that it's important to have a set time, and to stick with it. Me, I've gotten lazy, and eat whenever. But it's definitely healthier - and better - to have a set time. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 It was easier for me to keep a routine when the kids were smaller. Now we mix eating at the table and eating elsewhere in the home based on who is in. Dinner is usually between 5.30pm and 6pm. Usually we have to call them only once. If they don't hear its because they are listening to music or something. Their late evening/night eating can be a problem (for me). None of them are overweight but they are like bottomless pits when it comes to food. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 at my house. at 6 every evening. my parents would sit us all down and we had to eat. no exceptions. Served only once. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandfrustrated Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I cook dinner at the same time every night, and have it on the table 10 minutes after my H is expected home. I hollar, "Dinner!" when it's on the table, and everyone comes. I would fetch a child, but I'm not hunting down an adult. If you eat at 6:45 every. single. day. you should KNOW when dinner is without needing a reminder. I also think it's rude to not come to the table and eat unless you've given advanced notice that you will not need dinner that night. It takes planning and time to execute the preparation of a meal. Link to post Share on other sites
Jennifer26 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Many years ago I used to do this with my husband. My children were younger at the time, so I would generally go and get them. My husband would always say "just a minute" and we would wait on him for what seemed like a very long time. I got tired of doing this, so I started just telling him once and then proceeded to serve my children and myself our dinner and eat. Once he came down to find we were finished and he was pretty upset by that. My response was I told him it was ready, and was not going to eat a cold dinner I worked hard to cook. Another time I stopped cooking altogether and only made myself food, and served my kids macaroni and cheese and processed crap and left my husband to fend for himself. This was a period when my kids were refusing to eat ANYTHING I made, and my husband was still a procrastinator. I would spend a lot of time preparing a healthy dinner, and doing most of the clean up and felt unappreciated. It was a bit juvenile I admit, but they began to miss me cooking them meals after a while. Now days they come running when I say dinner is ready, and I give no advance notice either. Lately my husband even helps set the table and is in charge of getting all of the beverages, he also helps clean up. I'm still getting used to this. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I'm kind of a SAHM (I do my own work projects in the morning but have the family as my main thing from noon onwards), and dinner is still haphazard around my house. We eat at different times on different days, as we try to all have dinner together whenever possible. My husband doesn't have the kind of job where he leaves at the same time every day, and I try to give the kids a snack and wait for him if it's a late night but it's not unusual that he can't make it at all. I have class one night a week, and my stepdaughter (who is with us half of each week) has martial arts/athletics a few nights per week, further complicating matters. Also my husband really enjoys cooking and is actually a better cook than I am, so although he works long hours he wants to make dinner half the time which can actually get problematic because he'll often have a meal planned and then something will come up at work and he won't be able to make it, and then it's a scramble to figure something else out at the last minute. Despite the occasional confusion over who is cooking or who will even be there that day or what we will have time to eat in between rushing to-and-from classes, we all manage to eat together way more often than not and even maintain some regularity due to the needs of the toddler. When I am cooking, if my husband is home I kick him out of the kitchen because I don't like the way he hovers over my shoulder and tells me to julienne instead of slice , but I pop my head out and give everybody a ten minute warning that dinner's almost ready. That is everybody's signal to lock up marauding pets, wash hands, set the table, get the baby into his high chair, etc, while I am ladling out onto plates and pouring drinks and bringing everything to the table. On the rare occasions that I have given the ten minute warning and H and SD have ignored it, I served myself and the little guy and told them to go get their own when they were ready for it. It's only happened a few times, usually due to homework issues or conference calls, no big deal. If it happened regularly, I'd be annoyed and probably consider it disrespectful, and some new standards would have to be negotiated. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 My fiance is the one who shrills that dinner's ready, whenever she cooks. When I'm finished cooking I don't say anything. She knows it's ready when she hears me taking out plates and forks and it's smellin goooooooooood. Link to post Share on other sites
Baroness67 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I have dinner ready between 6 and 7pm. My kids do sports and other things so the schedules jumble on top of each other. I set dinner out near the stove so people can serve themselves. Always have a salad and/or appetizer (olives, fruit, crackers and cheese, etc.), entree, side and a bread. I put out plates and cutlery and napkins. Family members can eat where they want but are responsible for putting their own dishes in the sink to soak. My husband doesn't get home until anywhere from 8 to 11, if he is able to come home at all, which is far too late for the kids to eat. What can I say. We are a close family and it works for us. My husband's family is large and close and they were raised on buffet serve yourself-style, too. Family dinners are still served that way. Serve yourself and go sit in the house where you want. There are different games on TV in every room. With 30 people at family events who can sit down together at the same time? Exceptions to this are Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author machiavellian Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 Thanks for all the responses! It seems most people follow similar guidelines. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackHole Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 last time I had an enforced dinner time/place was 3rd grade Link to post Share on other sites
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