lmk Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 (edited) Hello All, I have a problem in my marriage. I have been married for 2 years and my husband loves me dearly as I do him. There's one massive BUT though... Before we met I was a very specific type of person. I hate to be sure of anything! I did everything spontaniously, and loved being single, and most importantly I loved spending time alone without knowing what the future will bring. Now I have a 'normal' 9-5 job, live in the same house, do the same things, always tell him where I'm going and when I'll be back, have plans mapped out for the next century (in 3 years we are buying a house and living happily ever after), and nothing spontanious left to give. I moved half way over the world for this guy and I'm starting to feel as if this isn't enough to keep me here. I feel as if I've been sticking around just because I don't have the guts to break his heart and leave. What should I do? Do I wait, and it will be the best thing I could have done, or do I just leave? Edited October 2, 2010 by lmk Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Have you talked to your husband about how you are feeling? Presumably he knows that you have this spontaneous nature so he shouldn't be surprised. He may be able to help you get more uncertainly, excitement and spontaneity into your life, if that's what you really need. You married him and marriage is a joint enterprise. That includes discussing things that you aren't happy with. At least give both of you a chance to sort things out before you unilaterally decide to jump ship. Maybe he feels a little 'tied' himself. You won't know unless you ask. What I find particularly telling about your post is that you use the word 'I' a lot. Marriage is about 'we', not 'I'. If you're not ready for 'we' then you probably shouldn't have got married. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 I think you should let him know, you wont be faithful and not ready for marriage. Didnt you know what marriage means? If you arent ready then just say so! Link to post Share on other sites
Quigonquinn Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 As a married man I agree with LittleTiger. If I was your husband I would want you to talk to me about how you were feeling. It sounds to me like you weren't ready to begin with but now that you have made this decision you need to act as a team. Reverse the situation, pretend you are your husband. How you would want things handled? Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Why did you get married to begin with is my question. But yeah you need to tell him all that's going on in your head. As your husband, he does have a right to know how you feel about being with him and that you're unhappy. Link to post Share on other sites
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