DawnDelight Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 My husband and I met online about 5-6 years ago. We only shared the occasional hello and that was the end of it. About 4 years after we met we started talking more and formed a great relationship. A couple months later we met in person then he moved in not long after that. The thing is its like we come from different worlds. We do love each other and show one another all the time. The problem here is, a lot of times I feel like second best to him. Heres the catch, I feel 2nd to a computer. It's like hes more interested in the games, chats and such online than he is me. I'm getting over my computer addiction and am continuing to limit everything I do online. He doesnt seem to want to. It has cut down since he first moved in but it runs into another problem. He doesnt really want to go out, if I ask him to he usually goes but I fight with him over it and have to beg him to go. There really isnt much to do around here but as much as I try he doesnt realize that the places we go are not the issue. We still live with my parents (we also have a 10 month old) I want the quality time with him alone away from what feels like a prison. When we do go out, hes always in a rush to get back home and he leaves me to carry anything we got or what have you while he makes a hard dash toward the keyboard. I've tried talking to him about this but since I have been there with the addiction I find it hard. I can somewhat relate but like I said, I am trying and succeeding at excluding the computer from my life. He knows I dont mind him being online unless it starts to interfere with plans, family, ect. And it is. All he says is "I'll try", "I'm not on there much", "theres no place to go/nothing to do" Neither of us really have any friends. After school mine all went seperate ways and we never speak anymore. He hasnt been here long enough to really build a friendship with anyone. We have even tried finding couples online close to home to do things with, it didn't work out. so my question is what can I do to make this a lesser part in his life and other things (our relationship, getting out and making friends, ect.) a bigger part? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 YOU ASK: "so my question is what can I do to make this a lesser part in his life and other things (our relationship, getting out and making friends, ect.) a bigger part?" Ask him to IMAGINE he has lived his entire life...that he is on his death bed...doctors are fixing to turn off his life support....he he only has a few minutes to live. He has just a few moments to look back on his life. What will he remember....a bunch of stupid chat rooms, web pages, goofy emails, meaningless spam, etc.,....or would he prefer to have fond memories about the special moments he spent with his friends, family and others who love him??? Does he prefer to remember a totally meaningless computer screen in front of his face or would he rather recall the memories of wonderful adventures visiting, travelling with the people he loves, doing special things for others, etc. If he prefers remembering the computer screen, tell him you will prefer to remember the day you went to the divorce attorney to look into divorcing his computer butt!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Dawn Delight Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 Thanks Tony! I tried what you suggested that night and it worked. Things are so much better now and getting better by the day! Hard to believe out of all the things I thought of I never thought of what you did and of course thats what it took to do the trick! Thank you so much! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 You made my day. Thanks so much for the kind message. Link to post Share on other sites
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