Neutrino Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 The BF and myself have been together for over 5 years. We get along great, our life philosophies and wishes are overall compatible and so far everything has been fantastic. 4 years ago we bought a house on a "park" project - and now both decided it is time to move on - since both our incomes have increased. The BF has his heart set on a huge villa with 5 bedrooms and another guest unit, strangely enough the main bathroom in the house includes the toilets (they are both in one room without a possibility to separate them. I know that the present owners have been trying to sell for some 10 months (business is a bit slow right now as we all know). We are a child-free couple in our mid 30s, and I find such a house simply too big. Although we can well afford the mortgage - I prefer to be more reasonable with my money rather than take out a huge mortgage for an over-sized house, nobody really knows where our economy will be in 10 years from now... Naturally the major market for such a house - is large families and one of the reasons the present owners are taking long to sell IMO is the fact that in spite of its size - the house is designed for a couple (shower and toilets in the same room on the 2nd level), so when I look at it as a product that is supposed to return profit when the time comes - I see a huge problem - and my judgement is telling me not to do it. The BF is constantly trying to convince me to buy this house. I get up before 05:00 each morning, I work long days and travel a lot, in the evening when I get back home - to my feeling - the brainwash campaign starts...... No power in the universe will make me act against my judgement, but this is taking a toll on our relationship - and when I realize that - even less am I inclined to accept..... Has anyone here gone through the same thing ? What did you do - how did it work out ? Please let me know I'm not the only one thinking we should be careful especially seeing how the current economical crisis (also here in the EU) started from overdrawn mortgages..... Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Is there any specific reason why your bf likes this house so much? Would you be buying it at what sounds like a very convenient price to him? Is he sure it would be a good investment? Or he fixated on this house so much for other reasons than the price? Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandfrustrated Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 The majority of our bathrooms here in the US include a shower and toilet in the same room, and only in the higher-end homes do you get a door protecting the toilet...so I'm confused about that. Is it set up like a locker-room? Where there's a couple showers, couple toilets, in one large space? Since this is a BF, I would consider selling the home you own now and parting ways. You obviously have different goals, none of them appear to be marriage, so why be tied for the life of a mortgage? Sell, move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Neutrino Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 He likes the house because it is all the things he would want in a house, it is set in the best neighborhood here, it has its own large grounds and right now we can get it for a relatively low price. The main difference between us I guess - he really likes his luxury and I'm more low-maintenance.... Although our incomes are about the same. He can not buy it on his income alone, and I tend to agree theoretically that it is a good investment - but I'm afraid of having such a huge mortgage when I feel uncertain about the future of our relationship. We have a common-law contract, I'm not really interested in getting married in general as I strongly object to religion (no offense meant to anyone). But this is a first long term relationship for both of us. Here in most houses - toilets and showers are separate, also you get a toilet on each level. Especially if this house has like 5 rooms on the second level (meaning it was probably planned as a family house) how would 4 people get ready in the morning with toilets and shower in one room ? If you say in the States most houses are like that - how do families get ready in the morning ? He seems to think there is nothing wrong with our relationship, but my thoughts on the subjects are different, however - I seem to be moving back and forth not being able to make a decision - which is not like me at all...... Link to post Share on other sites
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