Selina Glitter Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 My other half and I realised after a big "thing" a couple of weeks ago that we loved each other very much, and after years of drifting a part and our relationship being over shadowed by kids, we wanted to work things out...... The difficulty I have is wanting everything to be "perfect"....like it was in the good old days.....we are tryng so hard, but I know we cannot wave a magic wand to make it all better straight away.....has anyone else out there been through the same thing? Link to post Share on other sites
tommyr Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 My other half and I realised after a big "thing" a couple of weeks ago that we loved each other very much, and after years of drifting a part and our relationship being over shadowed by kids, we wanted to work things out...... The difficulty I have is wanting everything to be "perfect"....like it was in the good old days.....we are tryng so hard, but I know we cannot wave a magic wand to make it all better straight away.....has anyone else out there been through the same thing? I can relate to the drifting apart and our relationship being over shadowed by kids. This is exactly what happened in my marriage! My wife was busy being SUPER-MOM and had no time or energy for me. And my kids (when they were babies) just drove me nuts - I had no clue how to have fun or interact with toddlers. So I was pretty miserable and probably not the nicest person back then, but since I could not put my finger on the problem the easiest thing was to blame her (and she was pretty cold towards me too). Looking back I believe our relationship never effectively made the adjustment into parenthood. We had a pretty good relationship before kids, but after kids were born, we became almost bitter enemies. This had a profound effect on our sexlife which made me even more angry and but she seemed unaffected by living a sexless marriage. The good news is that after about 2 years of difficult effort (including 5 months of marriage counseling) we have finally "broken through" to a great husband/wife relationship that is balanced into our role as parents. One example of this is that she will now come sit on my lap and talk to me about various things when I get home from work. When one of us returns to the house, we kiss passionately instead of a quick peck. If you are looking for advice on how to get those good old days back - how often do you have sex now? Maybe it's just me (41 yo horny male) but it is much easier for me to treat my wife like a queen when things are great in the bedroom. Link to post Share on other sites
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