fairy_dust Posted July 20, 2007 Share Posted July 20, 2007 I'm in my mid 20s and working on my B.A. as my s/o is in the military active duty. We have a wonderful life together for the reason that we married for love and not for obligations i.e. having a baby. My MIL is grand childless, she has 3 children which they are all in their 30s and 40s and with no children of their own. Anyway she keeps reminding, bugging and cracking jokes that it is me who is their hope to bare their grand children. I get irritated because I am working on myself right now to get where I need to go with a career. She intends to let me know that she is not getting any younger and she asks about when we plan to have children when she knows that I am working on and off, and primarily going through college. The thing is I do think about my age about what is the 'right' time to have children? Although I don't want to feel pressured by anyone in which my MIL does when she brings up the topic. What do I tell her so she can stop? She brings it up and then she says "oh you will both know when the right time comes around". But I think she is just saying it so she won't sound so repetitive or irritating. Don't get me wrong we get along, but it's just this reiterating question and jokes that she brings up that is wearing down the answer or explanations that I tell her. What should I say or do to her that keeps her in check with asking me about it next time or any other time? Also when is the right time for having a family given my situation? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 20, 2007 Share Posted July 20, 2007 The right time is when you and your husband really, really, really want to be parents and can take care of the child in the way you would like to. Tell your MIL that you want to be as good a mother as she was to her children, and want to be able to care for them as well as she cared for hers, and in order to do that in this day and age, you and your husband believe it's important for you to finish your education and get established financially so the baby can have the best start possible. Then ask her to please stop asking you "when" because each time she asks, it reminds you that you and your husband aren't ready yet and that makes you very sad. If you can manage a small tear, or to choke up a bit at the end with a tremble in your voice, and then turn to her for a comfort hug, that might play on her sympathies a little and help get her to be a little more tactful. It will help to reassure her that you want kids - which her other children apparently don't - and that you have every intention, but you just aren't there yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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