caligrl Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 I'm new to this board but after reading several posts on the subject of spouses looking at porn, I'm still unclear if what my husband is doing is normal. We have been together 7 years (married for 2 mo.)..he knows how I feel about porn (I hate it) but over the years I've been ok with him looking at it. My problem is that I've discovered he looks at porn 4-5 hours everynight. I always thought he looked at it here and there. I've asked him about it and he says he can't help it. I told him that it's hurtful that he does it EVERYnight and for hours at a time. Is this normal or is this an addiction? I don't know what to do or feel. Should I be upset even though I've told him it's ok to look at it? Any advice would be appreciated. I told him I would like to go to marriage counseling but he says no. I'm considering going by myself but a nagging feeling inside wants to know if I'm overreacting. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 It is an addiction if he can't stop... My feeling is that, 4 to 5 hours a day is excessive.... but on the other hand... if I count my hours from work and home... I am also addicted to the Net. If I were you, I would suggest he watches it from 2 to 6 in the morning...you'll be asleep then...so it won't overlap on the time you want to spend with him. How's that? Link to post Share on other sites
Phoebe Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 I think that it's normal for guys to look at porn but 4-5 hours nightly does seem excessive. It's possible that he has an addiction. I don't think that you're overreacting, you've told him it upsets you to the point you're suggesting marriage counselling and he's ignoring you and the problem. This is something that you two should try and work out before it becomes a bigger problem, and I have a feeling that it will. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 What about someone who looks at it on average 8 hours a day? Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 What about someone who looks at it on average 8 hours a day? I hope its his career. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 I'm new to this board but after reading several posts on the subject of spouses looking at porn, I'm still unclear if what my husband is doing is normal. We have been together 7 years (married for 2 mo.)..he knows how I feel about porn (I hate it) but over the years I've been ok with him looking at it. My problem is that I've discovered he looks at porn 4-5 hours everynight. I always thought he looked at it here and there. I've asked him about it and he says he can't help it. I told him that it's hurtful that he does it EVERYnight and for hours at a time. Is this normal or is this an addiction? I don't know what to do or feel. Should I be upset even though I've told him it's ok to look at it? Any advice would be appreciated. I told him I would like to go to marriage counseling but he says no. I'm considering going by myself but a nagging feeling inside wants to know if I'm overreacting. Other then the porn, how is your relationship and sex life? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Lynna Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Wow, 4-5 hours every night??? Has it always been that much? That is excessive. You need to spice up things in the bedroom. Also, do more things together at night just in general, play games together, go to concerts, play a sport together to work out some of that excess energy. Heck, spice things up out of the house too. Have fun together, both sexually and otherwise. He definitely needs to find another hobby, make it you! Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 I don't even know How you watch porn for that long. 30 minutes tops... and that's only if I'm looking for something specific that's hard to find Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 That's a long time to be interested in porn. He must be gifted... I'm no expert but it does sound like an addiction. You might want to consider some form of counselling for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caligrl Posted June 26, 2007 Author Share Posted June 26, 2007 Other then the porn, how is your relationship and sex life? Mr. Lucky We have a great relationship/sex life. 2-3x a week-not too bad for a couple that's been together 7 years imo. However, it's a real turn off to know that he looks at so much porn. I told him that looking at that much porn seems like an addiction. He told me that I was being jealous and paranoid..basically that I need to get over it. I'm hurt. He makes me feel that I'm crazy for thinking there's something wrong with looking at 4-5 hrs of porn. Yet, I know that doesn't seem right...sorry if I'm rambling...I'm really at lost for words what to make of this. Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 We have a great relationship/sex life. 2-3x a week-not too bad for a couple that's been together 7 years imo. However, it's a real turn off to know that he looks at so much porn. I told him that looking at that much porn seems like an addiction. He told me that I was being jealous and paranoid..basically that I need to get over it. I'm hurt. He makes me feel that I'm crazy for thinking there's something wrong with looking at 4-5 hrs of porn. Yet, I know that doesn't seem right...sorry if I'm rambling...I'm really at lost for words what to make of this. Considering that most only look at porn long enough to finish masturbating I guess you can say: yes, something is wrong with him. None of us can awnser if you think he is worthy of staying with. No matter how much lube he has he isn't jerking for 4 hours. His addiction for all purposes is no different then watching sports center for 5 hours except he can do that out with the kids and friends walking by. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 We have a great relationship/sex life. 2-3x a week-not too bad for a couple that's been together 7 years imo. Well, if the porn is not a "sex substitute", then it sounds like a "companionship substitute". He's spending the time he should have for you with his movies. Seems to me that the first question you'd want to ask yourself (and him) is why ? Let us know... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts