Guest Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 I have been having a lot of problems with my husband of 15 years--everything from financial to sex to his family. I know he loves me and I love him too but whenever I try to talk to him about our problems, he tells me that he doesn't have any complaints about our marriage and that when I'm happy, he's happy and when I'm unhappy, he's unhappy. I took that to mean that basically I am on my own to make myself feel better about our marriage. Is that correct? I don't know what do to. How do I talk to him or get through to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Diamonds&Rust Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 He doesn't have any complaints. You do. You should talk about those more. The fact that he thinks things are okay doesn't change the fact that you don't, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 He doesn't have any complaints. You do. You should talk about those more. The fact that he thinks things are okay doesn't change the fact that you don't, you know? Yes, absolutely. But I tried talking to him and because he's not "unhappy," in the end, he doesn't really understand how I feel or why I feel this way which I find difficult to digest because we've had some of these problems for years. It's hard to communicate with someone like that and I tried to make the most of it but I find myself getting angrier and angrier because I feel like we are wasting a great relationship. Is there anyone in a similar experience? Help! Link to post Share on other sites
luvstarved Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 Tell him he's unhappy, then. Tell him why. My H gives me similar treatment sometimes and it seems like a PA move to make "issues" and "difficulties" be my fault, or to illustrate that I am somehow the emotionally unstable one, etc. Or simply a way of skirting the conversation...because no matter how much I get that line, there is a part of my "unhappiness" that feels like it is based on HIS dissatisfaction, whatever protests he might make to the contrary. Call him on it. See what he REALLY thinks. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 You're not responsible for either his happiness or his unhappiness. He is. He needs to know that and be made to understand it. You don't need the burden. Link to post Share on other sites
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