frustrated13 Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 I have been in my current relationship for 4 years. Most of the time we live together in his home, but when I was unable to find good paying jobs I would move to another state for a period of time to work. He has 2 children from a woman who he never married and says he never loved. He pays her each month for their support. He wants a good life for his children and also says he wants to have a life for us. So in order to give them a better life he allowed the mother of his children, his 2 children, and her 2 other children to move into our home. Now he sleeps in another room by himself because he says it would be disrespectful to his children to be sleeping with me with their mother in the house. She was originally only supposed to be in the house for 2 months as he was going to put her into her own home with her 2 children that are not his. However now after 5 months she is still in our home, she has the run of the whole house. I live in my bedroom with a coffee maker and small fridge. I feel very uncomfortable to leave my room. He says he cannot ask her to leave as he made a bad decision, but has to live with his decision. He gets frustrated and we go and look for another home for the 2 of us, but in the end he decides that he does not want to move out of his own home. He says he wants them to move out, but will not ask them to move since he allowed them to come. If I try to pressure him he says that I am pushing him or that I am giving him ultimatums, neither of which he wants. Does anyone have any advise or a similar situation? Please help. Thanks for listening, Frustrated13 Link to post Share on other sites
C&M4ever Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 That is unfortunate. Basically you have only two choices...give him an ultimatum and live with your decision, or stay, hoping it will one day resolve itself. If you give an ultimatum you have to be ready to give realistic consequences and follow-thru. If you stay and hope things get better you need to decide that you can deal with it until a solution is reached. Neither decision is ideal, but sense he wont kick her out...."you gotta do what you gotta do" Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Advice? You betchum! Move out and leave him to his obviously preferred family. He's clearly all about them and not at all about you. Since he has no backbone I know you can do far better. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 Well, technically, the house is HIS and he may share it with whomever he likes. Obviously, he likes his children and the OW living there - whether he admits to this or not. If you can't tolerate it, then move out. Simple as that. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 Move out and leave him to his obviously preferred family. He's clearly all about them and not at all about you. Since he has no backbone I know you can do far better. I have a slightly different take, as it seems to me that he is trying to do right (in an unusual way ) by two children that he brought into this world. If more of us men thought this way, there would be a lot Merrier Christmases in many households in this country. Honestly, to hear the OP say "He has 2 children from a woman who he never married and says he never loved" just pisses me off. This form of casual parenthood leaves many innocent victims in its wake. OP, this leaves you the odd person out. I would take Curmudgeon's advice and look to start anew elsewhere. Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 Think about how truly insane this is. I doubt a man would have made 2 babies with a woman he cares nothing for. Cut your losses and move out and find a truly available man. You really don't need to settle for scraps. Link to post Share on other sites
C&M4ever Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 Think about how truly insane this is. I doubt a man would have made 2 babies with a woman he cares nothing for. Cut your losses and move out and find a truly available man. You really don't need to settle for scraps. Yeah...this pretty much sums it up! Link to post Share on other sites
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