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Should I continue this???


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

 
 
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Old 23rd February 2019, 9:33 PM   #1
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Should I continue this???

Ok this might be long but so are most of these threads but here is the general info;

I've been in an ldr for almost 8 months. It's my first relationship and we have gotten along well for the most part but little by little the relationship has been slowly dying. I really love this girl and we have so much in common and we came from a similar past. I have been loyal to her since day 1 and I hope that she has been the same way.

Before I used to spend most of the day with my gf. We would text constantly everyday and we would stay up until really late just talking to each other. After a few months the texting turned into video calls and we used to do a lot of things while we saw each other. Fast forward a few more months and the video calls got shorter and shorter and they felt like they were obligated at this point since it was a habit to always see each other everyday. Its also important to note that we are both taking classes at this point so yes its normal to some extent. I get that. She has friends and a life, so do I.

But as time passed by she kept getting home later which I was fine with as long as I knew where she was (I didn't really ask every time. I'm not one of those dudes). And it got to the point where she would be home knowing that I was waiting for her to call me and she never did unless if I asked her again. I never really called her because she kept the relationship a secret from her parents due to a list of logical reasons that have nothing to do with this. During the past few months anytime that I would call her she would be watching videos or memes and not really be trying to talk to me. I addressed the issue and she just made me sit through whatever she was watching with her. And then as time passed she went back to watching videos and ignoring me. So we ended up calling each other but I was doing my thing and she was doing hers.

She is a very jealous person too. She has told me a couple of times that I couldn't talk to any of my female friends that I knew before her and she even tried making me stop talking to someone that I knew for over 5 years. Its a very ironic thing because she would always be adding guys to her Facebook and many times that I would ask her about her whereabouts I would have to keep asking her because she would ignore the question.

There is also the fact that she keeps thinking that I would leave her for some other person (I would never wtf). And the other fact that she would sometimes get all depressed over something and I would sense it without her telling me. I know her to well already. I would ask what it was and she would never want to tell me what it is. I make sure that she knows that I will do my best to help her no matter what it is but she tells me that she dosent know how to explain it. I ask her if its me and she says no.

The other day I was taking a nap and she messaged me. Since I was asleep I didn't hear it. She then called me 4 minutes later and I woke up when the call ended. I called back a minute later and she cursed me out telling me to go back to what I was doing (she never cursed me out). I tried explaining the situation but she wouldn't believe anything and she told me that she was tired of all the excuses. I still insisted but she wouldn't listen.

Mind you that a couple days before we had an argument because I fell asleep on her but that was because I was exhausted from college (and I had spent the whole month sleeping 4 to 5 hours). I also have been known to do that on other occasions but for the same reason but the barely happened anymore.

I was confused because we were at a point in our relationship where we had less arguments. Maybe 2 or 3 a month and always over something small. Since she cursed me out and honestly I was tired of her blaming me for things that I didn't do, I told her that I was going to stop talking to her for a few days. She didn't seem to care much and she just said that I should treat her well because a lot of guys wanted her. Mind you a week before that she was telling me that I love her too much and she loved that.

I just want to know if this is even worth fighting for. She is honestly a good person, shes smart, beautiful, we do great for the most part and I love her but all this accusing is too much. She also tries to control me and it really bothers me. Many times this relationship feels 1 sided. I get that he was hurt in the past but I have tried showing her that im nothing like her past boyfriends (All which were ldr too). She has even admitted to it but im starting to think that she says it to make me feel better. I love her but this is starting to feel more like she sees me as a friend that she sees when she is lonely rather than a relationship.

I'm willing to fight to the end for her if I knew that it would work out but since its my first relationship I dont know how it will end out. Im beginning to have doubts that this will even work out
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Old 23rd February 2019, 9:38 PM   #2
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LDR is simply not a real relationship. She's doing whatever she wants on her end and got you doing nothing on yours. Unless you have plans to be together soon, I see no logic to this. Do you do Facetime or Skype? When is the last time you two actually got together in person face to face?
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Old 23rd February 2019, 9:55 PM   #3
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LDR is simply not a real relationship. She's doing whatever she wants on her end and got you doing nothing on yours. Unless you have plans to be together soon, I see no logic to this. Do you do Facetime or Skype? When is the last time you two actually got together in person face to face?
The last time that I spoke to her was 2 days ago because I told her that I wasnt going to talk to her for a bit. Other than she used to facetime me almost every day
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Old 23rd February 2019, 10:02 PM   #4
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How many times have you met with her in person? I'm trying to find out if this is just an internet relationship or if you've actually been dating.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 10:07 PM   #5
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How many times have you met with her in person? I'm trying to find out if this is just an internet relationship or if you've actually been dating.
We haven't yet due to our limitations with college and money but we have planned it already. We live in the same country, just different states. If it wasn't for that we would have seen each other already
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Old 23rd February 2019, 11:32 PM   #6
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You need to be free to date people close to you.

She is not that interested.

And since you are a secret to her parents - itís not likely to work out.

Never be a secret again. Thatís just not right. Itís very unkind.
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Old 24th February 2019, 12:01 AM   #7
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You need to be free to date people close to you.

She is not that interested.

And since you are a secret to her parents - itís not likely to work out.

Never be a secret again. Thatís just not right. Itís very unkind.
She wants to tell them but she cant find a way to tell them. Ever since she was little she wanted to go to my state and her parents were against it. So them knowing about me would be a red flag right away. But literally everyone else that she knows, knows about me including her siblings.
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