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New here, but what a story I gotta share...

Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 9th February 2019, 8:16 PM   #1
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New here, but what a story I gotta share...

Met my S/O on an “adult hookup” site, two weeks ago. I live in NJ, and she’s in TX. Texted with her every day since, and got to know her very well. I’m a separated empty nester and she’s a widow with a child. Communication progressed very well, and was pleased that she wanted an LTR, not a fling or one night stand, considering the nature of the site we were on. Conversations were just like two people getting to know each other, and basically sharing life’s experiences, nothing more, nothing less.

Last night, the topics shifted towards a romantic theme, and we ended up professing our love for each other. It was not a surprise, because sometimes we’d drop hints here and there. Now, we’re planning for our first meeting in May, 2019 in TX where she lives. I figured we’ve been there, and done that, in life and past relationships, so having it progress so fast is not uncommon in this time and day.

That’s my story, and thanks for listening!
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Old 9th February 2019, 11:30 PM   #2
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Are you Skyping or FaceTiming? Have you met other people through online dating?
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Old 10th February 2019, 4:36 AM   #3
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This is a terrible idea and that "love" you are feeling will prob come crashing down around you. First off, you cannot love someone you've never met. 2nd LDR are just not worth it (been there, done that). I wish you luck, but I'm warning you that it may not turn out well....
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Old 10th February 2019, 7:26 AM   #4
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Slow down, cowboy.

You two are getting way ahead of yourselves. You have been talking for 14 days, have never met, and already decided you love each other. Leave the glass castles in the sky for teens. You're both experienced and old enough to know it's unwise to put the cart before the horse.

See how things go when you meet. Lay off the love talk until you've spent a substantial amount of time together in person. Be smarter with your heart.
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Old 10th February 2019, 10:13 AM   #5
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Professed your love for someone you have never met? What could possibly go wrong?
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Old 10th February 2019, 7:14 PM   #6
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Nah , it's not that at all, certainly wasn't for me back when.
We just met in a forum and as it turned out we were a fkg long way from each other. ln something genuine, real , well you hope it is as it is anyway and that's all you have to work with you don't go through it for just anyone, it is literally a sacrifice until you can work something out and be together, not a preference, it's torture, painful beautiful. ln our case sadly, distance and 2 different countries were just too much to overcome in the end
And of course your both well aware that you need to be together first if it's ever gonna be anything at all and that when you are it could all fizzle but , just more of the painful beautiful until you can. Well , unless you are 14.

lt's all a gamble you consciously decide to take. ln op's sitch , yeah sure , they have to meet and God knows how that'll turn out just like for anyone else in that sitch.
You are skyping at least meantime though op , right ? lf not then you better get onto that first of all. Try to accept though until then that when you do actually meet , it could be anything or a complete fizzle and then if it is , it'll hurt a little less. Not to say it will be , but it's best for all to be prepared for both.
Good luck anyway.

Last edited by chillii; 10th February 2019 at 7:20 PM..
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Old 10th February 2019, 7:49 PM   #7
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Yeah, be sure you've facetimed or skyped first, that's all. Lower your expectations a bit, because that was a lot of love for a little communication happening in 14 days. When you're not face to face, it's too easy to attribute ideal qualities to the other person that are your own preferences, qualities they likely do not actually possess once you know them.

Don't meet until you're facetimed and know for sure who you're talking to and seen them in motion.
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Old 10th February 2019, 8:35 PM   #8
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Yes Skype immediately and please do not pull out your wallet and credit card!
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Old 11th February 2019, 11:12 AM   #9
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What kind of woman needs to advertise for sex on a sex hookup site? Jesus, most women can't even walk into a bar without having all kinds of offers.

Seriously OP. You're about to be taken for a ride and it's not going to be the fun kind.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 9:16 AM   #10
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Working out fine, so far...

Been a while, and we both toned down the romantic talk, and went barebones with normal daily BF/GF conversations. Getting to know her better instead of going fast forward is much more exciting, and beneficial for our relationship. We are still set to meet in May, and all is well. Thanks for the advice!
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Old 22nd February 2019, 10:14 AM   #11
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Meeting in May is a good idea. Skype / Facetime first is a better idea.

I'd book a refundable hotel near her house. I would not stay with her. Upon meeting you will need space to retreat to.

Whatever you think is going on is just a fantasy until you meet.
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