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My LDR with my ex


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 6th February 2019, 12:00 PM   #1
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My LDR with my ex

I was in a long distance relationship with my ex, who I still have feelings for but is refusing contact. He suffers with anxiety and I still care for him. I offered support when I found out and suggested that we could get professional help together. The day we broke up he was telling me he loved me and the same back. I'm confused as we were different in terms of our daily routine, but I thought we had something worth fighting for. All he wanted to do was get back home to his mum and cousins and I wanted to talk things through. He cried, so I couldn't let him drive back with tears rolling from his eyes. I never meant to make him feel trapped or anything, I wanted to be there for him. I loved him that's why I was so honest with him about everything. May be we rushed things, I don't know, but to me he was worth fighting for but to him he would give up at the first hurdle. When I said we were different, I just meant we were brought up differently which was fine, we are not all the same. But everything turned an issue, the distance became an issue after staying at his house and this wasn't a problem before. He had spoken to his cousins about us and they thought that LDR don't work. I know there were issues but I was willing to sort through them. Please help.
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Old 6th February 2019, 4:25 PM   #2
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It takes two to make a relationship work. If he isn't willing there isn't much you can do. I suggest you give him space and see what he does from there...remember it's not you that has to fight for this relationship, it's him that has to want to.
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Old 6th February 2019, 6:51 PM   #3
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But how can I convince him that there is something worth fighting for, that we could get through this together? I mean will he even see through the cloud.

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Old 6th February 2019, 9:07 PM   #4
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If someone doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, you must walk away. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be with you. It is possible for someone to love or care about you, but not want to be in a relationship with you. You can't convince him that your relationship is worth fighting for when he doesn't want it. Let him go. That is part of caring about someone - letting them go when it's not right, and respecting their decision to end it if they were the one to end it. Respect yourself also and walk away. Gently - he doesn't want contact. That says it all.

I had a LDR for the last half of the relationship I was in two years ago. It didn't work to only see each other once a month. It didn't work even though we cared about each other. It didn't work - period.
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Old 7th February 2019, 7:55 PM   #5
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I still love him though and he just told me it was him and not me. What does that even mean? How can someone tell you in a day that they love you then overnight change their mind.
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Old 8th February 2019, 11:49 PM   #6
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Whatever happened to him, let him sort it out by himself. You pushing him in one direction or another won't work, as people already told you.


Whatever the solution might be, let him free to find it by himself.
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Old 10th February 2019, 1:02 PM   #7
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Take a step back and give it a week. If he thinks you are worth fighting for or he made a mistake, he will be back in no time.
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Old 11th February 2019, 12:25 AM   #8
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How old are you guys ?
And yeah , give him a week or two and some space he has to work through in his head and heart what he's feeling and wanting and it'll do him good to miss you a bit.
Good luck.
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Old 11th February 2019, 2:19 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Itsastrangeworld View Post
The day we broke up he was telling me he loved me and the same back. I'm confused as we were different in terms of our daily routine, but I thought we had something worth fighting for.
Someone who loves you, doesn't leave you. Go by actions, not words. He may say he "loves" you, but his actions aren't mirroring that. Don't make excuses for him and why he broke up w/you.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 1:16 PM   #10
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this is really good
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