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GF talking to other guys, should I be worried?


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 18th January 2019, 11:35 AM   #16
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This is what happens with LDR's....most are not sustainable because of the lack of attention, and physical contact. She's lonely, so she is monkey branching with this guy. TBH when it gets like this, she's already stepping out of your relationship. You should just tell her this isn't working out and you are moving on.
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Old 18th January 2019, 3:13 PM   #17
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This is what happens with LDR's....most are not sustainable because of the lack of attention, and physical contact. She's lonely, so she is monkey branching with this guy. TBH when it gets like this, she's already stepping out of your relationship. You should just tell her this isn't working out and you are moving on.

Monkey branching, swinging from one guy to the next? I could see that. She does like attention I give her, like sending her flowers all the time, but maybe it's not enough since she's talking to someone else.
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Old 19th January 2019, 4:50 PM   #18
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1/ 4 months are too early to really build a healthy & stable relationship, because the two of you haven't had enough time to truly form a union between yourselves.

There are couples who can only meet a few times per year because they are in different countries, so the fact you both can meet up to once per month is still a lucky thing.

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Me & my girlfriend have been together for about 4 months. Its long distance, and we meet up about every month.
2/ The real ugliness here lies not in your violation of her privacy (although it's already very bad), but in the fact that you FELT THE NEED to do it. You did it out of fear of losing her because you were insecured and jealous, which communicates that you are needy and clingy in this relationship with her.

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When she was taking a shower, I went through her phone
3/ So what? What others (your gf included) do in their private and leisure time on their social media sites are completely none of your business and totally out of your control. So why would you waste your time trying to beat yourself up over something completely and totally out of your control and none of your business?

I repeat, what your woman does on Instagram or Facebook is totally none of your business. You should have accepted this truth before entering into any relationships.

Your worry and concern over the fact that she "liked" this guy's pictures are coming from a place of fear. The fear of losing her. You have this fear because you are insecured, needy and clingy. And what we fear eventually come true, but what we ignore eventually disappear.

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I saw on her instagram messages shes been talking to other guys. One guy in particular has been flirting with her a lot, and I notice she likes his pictures all the time.
She's been responding to a lot of his posts too.
4/ You have her photos on your online profile because you have made her the center of your life. You have pedestalized her. You are needing her more than she (seemingly) needs you. And this is NOT her fault. This is your fault for not being centered. Yes she is your girlfriend for now, but she will be very likely not anymore if you keep allowing insecurity, neediness, clinginess and jealousy to consume you to the point where eventually she will suffocate and break up with you for good.

5/ Go out. Resume old relationships with your friends, colleagues, female friends (especially female friends). Hit the gym. Go climbing. Learn a new foreign language. Do anything that makes you happy and help occupied your mind with things other than herself.

This is the only correct option for you to stop being NEEDY, CLINGY AND INSECURED in this relationship, which is the source of your suffering right now.

And most importantly, buy & read the book "How To Be A 3% Man" by Corey Wayne (can be found easily on Amazon), which helped enlighten myself and better my relationships.

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What should I do?
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Old 19th January 2019, 4:58 PM   #19
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Please don't jump on the Blame Train so easily.

Yes, LDR is a losing game but it's another different story.

Here, in your very case, the root of all problems you are facing is all coming from YOU. You are insecured, needy and clingy. And this sends a message to her unconsciousness that you are weak and unworthy, without her even realizing it.

And the more this goes on, the more her interest level in you drops gradually to the point that one day she just doesn't feel "it" anymore. And she will be likely to say something like "I'm sorry but I'm confused" or "I need time to think about us" or stuff like that.

So, the very first thing you should do is to take OWNERSHIP for your mistakes and wrongdoings instead of blaming her (which, by the way, is also a very feminine thing to do). I know blaming others is easier, but think about it, if all you do is blaming others, then WHEN WILL YOU LEARN from your mistakes?

Women want mentally strong men, not cheesy guys who watch too many movies to do stuff like "sending her flowers ALL THE TIME" (seriously?)



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Originally Posted by Jordvn View Post
Monkey branching, swinging from one guy to the next? I could see that. She does like attention I give her, like sending her flowers all the time, but maybe it's not enough since she's talking to someone else.
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Old 19th January 2019, 7:43 PM   #20
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She does like attention I give her, like sending her flowers all the time, but maybe it's not enough since she's talking to someone else.
Flowers are nice to receive, but they don't really count towards sustaining a relationship.
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Old 26th January 2019, 5:53 PM   #21
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should I be worried?
Up to you. Worried about her liking someone else? Yes. Worried about getting closer to someone else? Yes. Worried she will share more than she'd be supposed to? Yes.



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What should I do?
She might have a goal in mind, not sure if it's her case. At times, these instagram addicts would make a deal with the devil in order to reach numbers that will make them make a lot of money and become influencers. Unfortunately, many teenagers want to be that. Again, it might not be her case, I don't know. But maybe. Not to mention that takes up a lot of time, and I mean A LOT. Flirting is part of the job. Pleasing others to keep them interested and follow you is part of the job too. So you have a potential w-ore in your hands. Sorry if that sounds offensive to you, but it doesn't mean to me. No judgment.
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Old 30th January 2019, 9:24 PM   #22
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I think you should talk to her seriously. If she really loves you it will be alright. Flowers are not enough though it is good to receive them.
Spending time to a love ones is better.
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Last edited by OneWayLove; 30th January 2019 at 9:30 PM..
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