Qbert27 Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Hey Everyone,, Me and my SO have been together for almost 2 years now. We've both got jobs now and are doing relatively well. However I don't like my job right now, it pays well and everything but it's not what I'm passionate about, what I wanna do for the rest of my life. The job I really loved I gave up because I had to commute everday to a different city and I couldn't afford it, and because I wanted to stay close to my SO. Really, I gave the job I loved up for my SO. I wasn't really qualified for the job that I loved but I worked my butt off to get in that field and I did. Now I've left that job and I'm stuck with this new job. I want to go back to school and get qualified for the career I love but it will take 2.5 years. I know my SO just wants to start our lives and keep working and make money and save for a future. But, I mean, I wanna do it now, otherwise later on it won't be as easy when I get older. Everyday I go to work and it's terrible because I hate it, and I can't imagine doing it for much longer. My SO keeps saying its a job and it pays well, so it's good, but that doesn't matter. I would rather get paid less with my old job and be happy than do this one and be miserable. I know I am definetely in the wrong field, because my old job I loved so much like I enjoyed getting up every morning and going to work even with the commute. I miss it so much... My concern is that going back to school I may lose my SO because of it, because I know she doesn't want me to, but If I don't, I know I won't be happy with work, which is a huge part of life. I think it's unfair because, I mean, I gave up the commute for her because she was unhappy, and she wants me to follow her wherever she gets a job. Don't get me wrong, I wanna be close to her no matter what, but I need to be happy too with what I do for a living. Things need to be 50/50, support both ways am I right? I'm at crossroads I think, one direction the career I love, but maybe losing my SO, and another direction my SO still with me but a ****ty job and career that makes me unhappy. What should I do? Am I being selfish? Any advice is greatly appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyann Posted July 2, 2005 Share Posted July 2, 2005 She is asking you to give up everything for her when she gives up nothing. I think that she is asking to much of you. If you want to go to school, I think you should. What if something happens and this relationship does not work out. You need to talk to her about this and how you feel. The last thing you want to do is to resent her. Link to post Share on other sites
Beautiful Breakdown Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 If your SO loves you the way a SO should, then fulfilling your dream job should be your SO's "dream" as well. If she's not willing to give you something for evrything you've given up for her, then I don't think your realtionship is very equal. (not to sound mean.) I think you should go on with schooling and get to your dream job. I've always been told: work to liv, don't live to work.and I think that part of that means enjoying what you do. Link to post Share on other sites
MsBlink Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Our situations aren't the same (I mean, no one really has the same thing going on as the next person) but I know I want to go back to school and might have to do it away from my guy. If your SO loves you, let 'em get upset about the distance then get over it. Yeah, you might not be too close to each other anymore, or might not have AS MUCH time, but it doesn't mean the end of the world. Any SO who doesn't understand that is just plain selfish. Imagine how much you can really save for your future together once you get back to the career you love!?!?! Education comes first (take it from someone who's dropped out and is itching to go back). School's just a short while...hopefully, your time together is a lifetime. Best of luck. ~MsBlink Link to post Share on other sites
J dub Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Yikes - this post struck a chord with me because I am that girl. My bf works but doesnt like his job and he works a LOT. I miss him all the time and want to be with him, and now hes talking about going away to school and everything... I have to say, if she loves you, she'll stick with you. I'd stick with my man (even tho I used to think I wouldnt) thru thick and thin. We have been thru too much together to give that up and I love him WAYYYYY too much Sit her down and have a talk with her. Ask her if she loves you, and if she supports your decisions. If she says yes, then I'd say she'll follow you - she may just be scared right now Link to post Share on other sites
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