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Ending our long distance relationship

Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 21st December 2017, 6:01 AM   #1
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Ending our long distance relationship

Last year, I joined AFAís romance tour in the Philippines. I enjoyed the attractions, food, and even the hospitality of the people.
But most of all, this tour was the main reason I met Jolina, my girlfriend.
Jolina is a very loving, sophisticated, and kind. I met her during the tourís social night.

After that, I asked her out and we decided to be exclusive.

I visited her every two months in the Philippines.
We get along together. We are a perfect match. I am so sure about that. Iíve also met her family already.

Again, the hospitality is always present in the Filipino culture.
Weíve been in a long distance relationship for a year. At first, it was fine but in the long run it became difficult.
I want to see her all the time. I want to be with her already!

I want to marry her ASAP!

Long distance kills me. So Iím planning to propose to her on my next visit.
I donít care if it will cost much to me, my purpose is to marry her.

I know yíall knows what it feels to be in a long distance relationship.
So do you think itís time already to propose to her?

What advices would you want to give me regarding the state weíre in today?
Your responses are very much appreciated.
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Old 21st December 2017, 12:40 PM   #2
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You should live with her before you decide to marry. Do NOT skip this step.
The morning dawns upon everyone and returns all the tears of yesterday to the heavens.
Turn into the rain of blessing that will awaken the sleeping sprouts still resting in the scars remaining on the land.
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Old 21st December 2017, 1:39 PM   #3
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Having done LDR a few times now as well as know several people who've done it, dating LD is VERY different than living in the same city never mind under the same roof. VERY different.

I completely understand the frustration that LD presents when you love someone dearly and want to be with them more than a few times a year but I strongly encourage you to be VERY careful regarding how quickly you rush into marriage.

I too agree that, if it's possible, moving closer to one another should be your first step if only to see how your relationship changes, good or bad. Then, and only then, should you consider marriage.

What you have to remember is that when you're in a LDR, you're dating in a perfect bubble. Time together is limited so couples are often on your best behavior. Spending a week or two a few times of year isn't enough to go on. It's a completely different story when you're having to deal with all that comes with the daily grind like bills and money as well as things like personal quirks and habits you might not have noticed during your short visits. Don't be naive to think those things won't affect your relationship. They've been know to end even the happiest relationships once upon a time.

Tread carefully.
"Stupid is as stupid does" - Forrest Gump.
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Old 21st December 2017, 1:48 PM   #4
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Going from an LDR to living together is usually a bad idea. During the LDR when you are together it's so infrequent & special it feel like a vacation holiday. You have no idea what it's like to be with that person day in, day out, during the normal trials & tribulations of life. It's better to live in the same city & have a conventional relationship for at least 6 months before moving in.

All that is about the lesser commitment of living together. It sounds foolhardy to even contemplate going straight to marriage.

Before you get all caught up in the romance of it all speak to an immigration hurdle to address the problems you will face with relocation. Also understand your rights; in the US a marriage visa obligates the sponsoring spouse to provide a certain level of support upon divorce, even if the family courts couldn't award same based on income. Do not rely solely on the fiancť visa kit AFA gave you.
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