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How to keep this LDR alive......

Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 28th September 2017, 8:07 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 30
How to keep this LDR alive......

Six months have passed of calling and texting a woman in Spain, I am in the UK. Up to now, my texts have all been jokey, kind of nice guy, fun, flirty when it suited but not too often and nothing seedy and she reciprocated with laughter and cute little kisses here and there and it was all cute and silly. For most of the time I think we both accepted we would probably never meet so to a great extent we could be as silly as we wanted and just have fun with it. I am about to start a project down there soon so we decided to meet up last weekend. The date went well.

During the date I was the perfect gentleman, very old fashioned, opening the car door, taking her coat, not ogling any other passing talent but combined with the bad-ass putting the restauranter in his place for screwing our order up, tailgating someone out of the car park rather than wait to get our ticket stamped, teasing her, taking the micky out of her that type of thing. Perhaps thats not every girls style but it is mine and she seemed to soak it up. When I dropped her home ive never seen a girl blushing that much.

Without wishing to sound soppy, I think its quite clear to both of us we are very well matched, but now everything has changed. The cute little texts are a thing of the passed. For instance, Knowing she was having her hair done yesterday I asked "hows the new hair?" She sent me a picture. "Wow" I said " Really sets off your eyes". No response since. Also the good morning and the good night soppy stuff has gone, for the time being.

She may have gone off the boil but I honestly don't think she has, yet. Probably, I am in danger of boring her if I go back to the "Mr nice texter" she was enjoying until we met. Honestly I think she realises we might be a good pair. She says she likes the old fashioned gent' in me and we both know we've both got attitude.

So, be objective, if you think shes off the boil, tell me. This is a hunch, but I think she wants me to rattle her cage a bit. I've proved I can be the gentleman, the leader, the fixer, etc but I reckon she wants to see more of the badass. I say that as she just isnt as chatty as she was. If I text her with a new conversation with something nice I expect she will respond but she wont be as eager to play with it. I feel like she wants me to text her calling her a bitch and shell enjoy it.

Honestly, Ive never been in this situation before so how can I keep her simmering until I get to see her again? Assuming shes not gone cold, does she want me to chase her, or does she want to chase me? I don't want to over do this and I don't want to let it fizzle out either.
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Old 29th September 2017, 9:43 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 34
I wish I knew what to tell you, but being new to this site and new to a lot of changes independently, all I can think of is that old adage that actions speak louder than words. Perhaps despite how you two were on the phone as text buddies, that when you met in person, things might have been jovial and fun, that could have been a pressured surface response.

With some time away and apart, people can put their feelings into context and then they can realize that perhaps it wasn't really chemistry keeping you two together and it had more to do with wit and charm in texting. Things get a whole lot harder when two people mean for real.

That's a foible of a LDR, we can fill in the blanks, and someone can get hurt in the process.
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Old 30th September 2017, 3:35 AM   #3
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Posts: 2,175
Yep , l'd go with my something like myop's sayin.
Thinking she's fizzled on ya.

l don't get what's with all the crap though , why didn't ya just be you ? there's no chemistry if people aren't even being themselves and if you were right now you could just ask her , what's up babe.

l was in a ldr for for around 19mths but between visits we were just real with each other like any other couple . lot's of hot , lots of fun,bit of cold and miles and miles of real conversation but whenever whatever always just oursleves anything else isn't real and would fizzle.
Sadly there were some other issues though and it doesn't look like we're gonna be able to work it out.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 9:38 AM   #4
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 30

Which bit do you think I wasn't being myself? I was for all of it.... Im well bred decent bloke who doesn't take any cr*p and seizes opportunities when they arise. That is the way I am.

Back to the drawing board........
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Old 13th October 2017, 10:32 AM   #5
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Clearly she's not into you. And, stop the acting, it's going to get you nowhere.
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