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Not really much but I don't know ...

Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 13th September 2017, 7:51 PM   #1
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Not really much but I don't know ...

First off, thank you for taking time out to even read the title and click on this; I truly appreciate any advice I can get at this point. Fair warning, this might be a bit long.

Okay so, I met this guy off of Tinder (I know, I know), I am a student in the US and he's one in the UK. Yes, I was just as baffled as you probably are, thinking how could we be matched on Tinder when we're close to 6000km away? But it happened and we started talking. We talked till the early morning (for me at least) and we were even flirty with one another i.e. making cheeky comments and just teasing around here and there. This was a couple of times and not explicit whatsoever.

We got each other's Snapchats and started a streak (basically where you send each other pictures everyday and keep a tab of sorts). During this time we were talking for about 3 weeks and I asked whether he wanted to Skype, which we did and spoke for over 2 hours. I realised that I started being more attracted to him after this because when we spoke, we spoke about intellectual stuff and life experiences and the difference between the US and UK schooling. None of that dry, boring, or forced conversations which can tend to happen.

So it's been 2 weeks since we Skyped and there came a time when he started being a bit distant (no pun intended) for example, not saying much on Snapchat and he even turned down my request to Skype again. I even asked him once if something was wrong because he'd been quiet to which he replied 'oh was I? Didn't mean to.'

The problem is that I've started being super attracted to him and I think about him a lot even though I have to restrain myself from constantly texting him because I don't want to be the only one trying for this. Also, he's leaving on a trip for 2 weeks so we'll not talk as much (and we'll lose our snapstreak).

I guess my issue is that I don't know how to deal with it. Should I tell him how I feel and get it over with? Or should I just let it end and stop fighting for it if it's not reciprocated? Or should I just suck it up and go with the flow? Any advice would do at this point.

If you made it to here, then I truly thank you for your time. I hope the responses to this post may help anyone else in a similar situation.

Thank you
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Old 13th September 2017, 8:22 PM   #2
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It was fun when it lasted, but it's highly unlikely that he is not matching with others close to him and going on dates with them. It's in your best interest to back away, detach yourself, and find someone local to date so you don't get even more attached and hurt.
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Old 13th September 2017, 10:02 PM   #3
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Even if your conversations involved intellectual stuff, that doesn't automatically mean it implied interest (for you, not him). Every relationship starts (for those with the personality) off like this, because things are new. You're learning about UK's ways while he's learning about US's ways. Maybe you two liked the way each other answered questions or explained things. But now after hours and hours of talking over the weeks, you (or him) are starting to run out of things to learn. This makes things less exciting, and this is usually about the time that the "spark" dies. The exploration period is over.

So that's probably where he is at now. Or maybe he has matched up with someone else, the next new thing, who knows. Ask him, you have the right to. You two matched up on Tinder which automatically suggest that relationship is somewhere in there as a goal.

Anyway, also ask yourself if you like him because you're still exploring or not. Or do you genuinely want his, not anyone else's, presence/attention.
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Old 14th September 2017, 12:38 AM   #4
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It's hard to maintain interest at that distance when you've never met in person and the prospects of that happening are slim.

He liked your company but he is probably not interested in taking it beyond that. Also, as hippy points out, he is very likely distracted with local Tinder matches.

I'm sorry OP, but I would not try to keep this going. His interest isn't strong enough and the logistics are too complicated.
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