Jayyy Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 (edited) I met this guy online in February. This lead to us exchanging snapchats, and then lead to texts, calls and facetimes. We've been talking for 4 months and everything came so strong. I know it's not a long time but our feelings were so strong for each other. We just opened up to each other so quickly and were comfortable in an instant. He's the type of person to date with the intention of marriage and so am I so we had discussed the chance of it. Of course not too in depth since has only been 4 months lol. We've said "I love you" a few times, even though we've never met. I know it's crazy to say it without meeting but I do believe you can develop strong feelings even without physically knowing the person. He's said things like "you're mine" and other stuff that made believe he was very serious about me. He's from Texas and I'm from New York. I'm 19 and he's 22 so we are a little young. I really like him and am willing to give the relationship a chance but he is very convinced that it won't last due to the distance. At one point he was considering the option of coming to NY for grad school and even asked me for some schools! But all of a sudden he couldn't do it anymore. He said he didn't want to stop talking to me but he didn't want to lead me on. He said he wanted to make it work but didn't know how and even asked if there was any other choice. Due to family circumstances, I can't go to Texas for school otherwise I would've done it. But he doesn't want to go to grad school right away and isn't sure he wants to come to NY because he is working on his career in Texas. He's worked hard to build the connections for his career and is trying to stabilize himself and doesn't want to add something more "unstable" by dating me. He called it that due to our distance and his zero faith in us making LDR work. If it's anything, he did get out of a serious relationship a few months before meeting me. This was something supposed to be casual that turned serious to the both of us. According to him, timing is the biggest factor because he's focused on setting up his career. However, he knows that LDR will require a huge sacrifice of one of us moving there in the future. He doesn't want to force me to come (even tho I'm considering it) and his career is established in Texas and he would have to throw it away to be with me which isn't good either. The reason I'm posting now is that since we ended things, I did end up contacting him a week after. That convo was short and formal. Then I texted him this past thursday and we had a pretty good convo. We were friendly, open and it was basically how we've always been (minus the flirting). He is coming in August for a wedding in NJ and it's only 30 min from where I live. When we were ending things I was upset and said I didn't want to see him but I've changed my mind and I really want to see him. I believe seeing each other physically will change our perspective (positive or negative). I think it would help us know if we really like each other or maybe it's not that serious. And if we both really like each other, maybe he'll consider giving it a chance? I won't walk into it with the intention of getting him back. But I'll never get the chance again to see him if I don't do it in August. We had such a good conversation and I think it's only worth asking him to meet me if he actually makes the effort to text me like I have been right?? Please help!! Edited July 9, 2017 by Jayyy Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 I guesss it wouldnt hurt to ask, but I would think if he wanted to see you, he would tell you since he will be so close. Its possible he has a girlfriend. You are contacting him, he isnt contacting you. You are coming across as a bit desperate. LDRs very rarely work out. Its hard to call this a serious relationship when you've never even met. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jayyy Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 I guesss it wouldnt hurt to ask, but I would think if he wanted to see you, he would tell you since he will be so close. Its possible he has a girlfriend. You are contacting him, he isnt contacting you. You are coming across as a bit desperate. LDRs very rarely work out. Its hard to call this a serious relationship when you've never even met. He did want to meet me even after ending things. I'm the one who told him no, so I take responsibility for that. I should've given more info. We ended things around the 3rd week of June? So it's been like 2 weeks? We've talked twice. Both started by me. And it wasn't a "serious relationship". We weren't dating. We did develop serious feelings and it was about deciding whether to date or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Both started by you. He is not reaching out to you, and he hasnt said anything about meeting you even tho he will be so close. He's remaining nice to you because you are contacting him. If he wanted to see you, he would make sure you knew that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jayyy Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 Both started by you. He is not reaching out to you, and he hasnt said anything about meeting you even tho he will be so close. He's remaining nice to you because you are contacting him. If he wanted to see you, he would make sure you knew that. I understand that but since I was the one who shut him down about meeting me I don't expect him to ask to see me. I feel like that part is up to me since I turned him down. He probably feels there's no point in asking me since I made it clear to him originally that I don't wanna see him in August if we're not going to make it work. He doesn't know I've changed my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
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