Losing her sucks

[blackfield]

i never really noticed there was a LDR section here (lol) anyways, here's the story, i've known her for 4 years. she kept making the same mistakes over and over again and hurt me a lot so i ended up breaking up with her, that was a few months ago, ever since then i've been trying to go no contact and it's been hard, and i broke it 3 times already. last time lasted for about 40 days and she contacted me 5 times, i ignored them. replied to her last one, she told me she found someone else (in real life) and at first she told me she wanted to like him so she can forget about me but she doesn't really like him and she kept apologizing and stuff, but later that day, she went out with him then came back and told me she was lying to herself and that she really likes him and wants things to work out. that day absolutely sucked for me. i thought about her every second but for 2 days i couldn't take it. so i contacted her, getting things off my chest i told her a lot of things, and i told her she won't ever hear from me ever again and i blocked her immediately and it made me feel better, for a few days now i haven't been thinking about her a lot but sometimes when im alone i just miss her so f*cking much and i wanna contact her so bad. the problem is, what do i do when she contacts me again? i know she will because she already did it 2 times when she was with him before she told me she found someone new. i wanna forget about her, she was actually my first love, i was hers too, and i was gonna meet her this year. but it all went to sh*t now. how can i feel so much for a person that i've never even met? i mean yeah i feel better and i don't think about her much but before that it was so hard and it's still hard when im alone, i keep wanting to stalk her profiles and contact her, i already blocked her from EVERYWHERE but i know she'll find some way to contact me or not, i don't know since she's with someone else now..

Edited January 15, 2015 by blackfield

[justwhoiam]

1. How old are you both?

2. How far away is she?

3. Do you have her home address?

4. What mistakes did she do?

 

There's a 50% chance that she tries to contact you again. After what you told her last time she wouldn't know how to contact you anyway, she'd have the same fears.

It's like your brains tells you to leave her alone for good and your heart says something else. That, or you just grew addicted to her.

[blackfield]

1. How old are you both?

2. How far away is she?

3. Do you have her home address?

4. What mistakes did she do?

 

There's a 50% chance that she tries to contact you again. After what you told her last time she wouldn't know how to contact you anyway, she'd have the same fears.

It's like your brains tells you to leave her alone for good and your heart says something else. That, or you just grew addicted to her.

 

I'm gonna be 20 next month and she's 19.

shes really really far away, we both thought it would work out but now I don't think that at all.

i do and it's really kinda hard to explain what she did and I'd rather not talk about it but she didn't cheat or anything.

and I don't think I grew addicted to her, she was my first love and the fact that she found someone else and keeps telling me that she loves me then tells me that she actually likes him and sh*t like that. I know it would never work out between us but she was a big part of my life and I miss her and I just wish it was easy..

[justwhoiam]

So you're both college-age.

 

The fact is she met you online when she was only 15 and you were 16. You were both very young. It should have stayed a friendship and then - with a meeting IRL - it could have developed to something more.

 

Now, you have built an idea of each other that might not match reality. It's not easy now to meet after 4 years. You might like her personality for how you know her from online, but it's not a sure thing that you'd like her as a girl or as your girlfriend. It's not just about the looks, there are so many other factors coming into play.

 

Also, if you met her know and decided to be together, there'd be many expectations from both sides. A LDR requires lots of efforts and at your age is very demanding, unless she's very very easy going (and it's rare for a 19 year old girl). At this stage of your life, you can go out with friends till the wee hours, drink, see people and do lots of other things. How would she fit in that picture? Then time for calls, videos, chats, etc.

Plus, the financial strain (you need money to visit her, etc.)

 

I'm for love wins everything. But this is yet far from love.

[emi]

I'm gonna be 20 next month and she's 19.

shes really really far away, we both thought it would work out but now I don't think that at all.

i do and it's really kinda hard to explain what she did and I'd rather not talk about it but she didn't cheat or anything.

and I don't think I grew addicted to her, she was my first love and the fact that she found someone else and keeps telling me that she loves me then tells me that she actually likes him and sh*t like that. I know it would never work out between us but she was a big part of my life and I miss her and I just wish it was easy..

This is an anoymous forum, noone will likely to spot you in real life so you dont need to worry and rather let it all out so we can give you a better advice. Your post seems really vague. And the location and distance are really important in LDR. It will give us more info about her background which might lead to her behaviors. Anyway, u are really naive to actually believe this can work at first is all i have to say. I was immature last time i got involved in one but logically, i didnt even think it would work, just sheer hope the only thing i had. But a big clap for blocking her, it will get hard but with time the urge to reach out will fade. It sounds easy but peoole have different time frame, you need to hang on and come here to vent everytime the urge arises. It will finally go away eventually

[umirano]

Hey, keep your head up

 

I'm 10 months since BU. I've never contacted her but I caved many times when she contacted me. It's hard, just keep fighting. Now I'm NC for 5 weeks, and I haven't replied to her last e-mail. The past 2 nights I've been dreaming of her and I practically think of her every day. I used to have a great stretch last fall when I almost got her off my mind for days on ends. Then she injected herself back into my life.

 

I feel you man, it is really hard. But young love hardly ever lasts, we all know that. Better start accepting that it's over for good. Nothing good can come from dwelling on memories, or worse, contacting her.

 

Vent here, it'll get better, and recovery is built from hundreds of days of working on your emotional control.

 

I am sorry and I wish you all the best...

[rocketman122]

i never really noticed there was a LDR section here (lol) anyways, here's the story, i've known her for 4 years. she kept making the same mistakes over and over again and hurt me a lot so i ended up breaking up with her, that was a few months ago, ever since then i've been trying to go no contact and it's been hard, and i broke it 3 times already. last time lasted for about 40 days and she contacted me 5 times, i ignored them. replied to her last one, she told me she found someone else (in real life) and at first she told me she wanted to like him so she can forget about me but she doesn't really like him and she kept apologizing and stuff, but later that day, she went out with him then came back and told me she was lying to herself and that she really likes him and wants things to work out. that day absolutely sucked for me. i thought about her every second but for 2 days i couldn't take it. so i contacted her, getting things off my chest i told her a lot of things, and i told her she won't ever hear from me ever again and i blocked her immediately and it made me feel better, for a few days now i haven't been thinking about her a lot but sometimes when im alone i just miss her so f*cking much and i wanna contact her so bad. the problem is, what do i do when she contacts me again? i know she will because she already did it 2 times when she was with him before she told me she found someone new. i wanna forget about her, she was actually my first love, i was hers too, and i was gonna meet her this year. but it all went to sh*t now. how can i feel so much for a person that i've never even met? i mean yeah i feel better and i don't think about her much but before that it was so hard and it's still hard when im alone, i keep wanting to stalk her profiles and contact her, i already blocked her from EVERYWHERE but i know she'll find some way to contact me or not, i don't know since she's with someone else now..

 

 

I feel for you buddy. I also was in a LDR with a women. on and off for 3 years. I crashed hard after 4 months of no contact when I saw pics of her with another guy on her FB profile. never making that mistake again and just blocked and never looked again.

 

heres what I feel. shes bluffing about the guy. I doubt it will work out. I think hes a rebound if he exists. shes thinking of you because she dated the guy (supposedly) but her mind and heart is with you. shes working the jelousy magic on you. youre also a bit young and theres a lot of confusion here because of it.

 

I would HIGHLY suggest you find other girls to date. me personally, I cannot "heal" by being by myself. I can be by myself but not after a breakup. my mind goes crazy and I get depressed. so I try to find someone new to meet. for a serious relationship though. enjoy time with them, get my mind slowly off her and on the new woman. it works well. problem is its hard to find someone you can click with and see a future with. for you its different. FORCE yourself to just date and have a good time. <Inappropriate language redacted> cheers buddy

Edited January 19, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator