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Is this the real life?........Is this just fantasy?


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You know the drill. You talk to someone online in a faraway land and hit things off. Days pass by with lots of laughing and joking around with "LOL" written in every other sentence as you become friends and joke about life and love and previous heartaches gone by. Weeks and months go by and everyday you talk about whats going on in your world's and you start to find that you confide in one another while you find it difficult to confide in the people who you actually see on a day to day basis in real life. Eventually the words "I love you" are spoken and promises are made about a life together away from everything else and all the worries in the world. You reassure each other it's completely real while convincing yourself it must be true. Plans to meet don't come together as planned and tension builds as the relationship piece by piece falls apart. One day it's over and the talking stops as you come crashing back down to reality..........that's the question, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasty? Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality........lol. You get me? So what was that? I'm probably never gonna meet this girl yet for a period of time I fantasized about a life with her and allowed myself to believe it was real. We never touched or kissed or made love which is something I obviously expect in the real world being an experienced man in my 30's but this time I went along with the fantasty and acted as if the whole thing was perfectly normal. Bizarre that don't you think?

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evanescentworld

You said it!!

 

As a member of a generation where computers, mobile 'phones, ipads, x-boxes and flat-screen tv's never even existed for the first half/three-quarters of it, I find this whole 'on-line' romance to be a bizarre thing to say the least!

 

I was brought up in a world where human beings dated, communicated either by the telephone, (attached to a wall, with a coiled wire to the receiver) or by letter (you know... snail-mail) and courted one another for some considerable time, before meeting the families...

Now?

 

Bizarre....

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You said it!!

 

As a member of a generation where computers, mobile 'phones, ipads, x-boxes and flat-screen tv's never even existed for the first half/three-quarters of it, I find this whole 'on-line' romance to be a bizarre thing to say the least!

 

I was brought up in a world where human beings dated, communicated either by the telephone, (attached to a wall, with a coiled wire to the receiver) or by letter (you know... snail-mail) and courted one another for some considerable time, before meeting the families...

Now?

 

Bizarre....

It's pure escapism. I've had a few online flings that ultimately amounted to nothing but every time the common theme is building a life with someone you never even met in a faraway place. By default I guess you could say I'm guilty of that too (the escapism part) but in my defence I've only really been interacting online socially since about 2011 so I'm way behind the curve in that respect. It was new and exciting at first but now it's just kinda "meh." Been there done that and nothing is better than the real thing.

Edited by L1ght
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You know the drill. You talk to someone online in a faraway land and hit things off. Days pass by with lots of laughing and joking around with "LOL" written in every other sentence as you become friends and joke about life and love and previous heartaches gone by. Weeks and months go by and everyday you talk about whats going on in your world's and you start to find that you confide in one another while you find it difficult to confide in the people who you actually see on a day to day basis in real life. Eventually the words "I love you" are spoken and promises are made about a life together away from everything else and all the worries in the world. You reassure each other it's completely real while convincing yourself it must be true. Plans to meet don't come together as planned and tension builds as the relationship piece by piece falls apart. One day it's over and the talking stops as you come crashing back down to reality..........that's the question, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasty? Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality........lol. You get me? So what was that? I'm probably never gonna meet this girl yet for a period of time I fantasized about a life with her and allowed myself to believe it was real. We never touched or kissed or made love which is something I obviously expect in the real world being an experienced man in my 30's but this time I went along with the fantasty and acted as if the whole thing was perfectly normal. Bizarre that don't you think?

 

tell us your story. what happpened? etc

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We are all yearning to be close with someone,or be desired. We need human interaction otherwise life really is'nt much of a life. Isolation,loneliness,and sadness enters our world. In my opinion it has become utterly ridiculous at how difficult it is to meet someone,or just establish new friendships these days. I sympathize for you&can relate completely. I have'nt been on this forum for ? Pfft. Maybe over a yr. Initially,for divorce support, etc. Still not divorced. 2yrs seperated&being thrusted somewhat into singlehood without support from anyone other than family i went into depression&isolated myself. Time to look within,etc. Crazy how some are already eons ahead in terms of moving on. Cpl months already in a relationship my stbx wife was.

 

Thats it i said i gotta get out there,but with what friends? No social group i turned to online dating. At first i was apprehensive,but said screw it. Look all these other people doing it. Stigmatized cuz i was honest&said i was seperated i always stuck to my guns&was honest. In a nutshell i was ridiculed,judged,and practically crucified for this. Had a fling with 1 girl that was totally crazy. Yet somewhat beneficial with me satisfying sexually. Anyways, i was fed up. I didnt care anymore,and became loose i guess u could say after drinking&being on Zoosk. I wanna not drag this out anymore than i already have. There is no doubt in my mind that i experienced the craziest thng that has&will have ever happened to me by meeting this female 2,000 mi away. Our unconventional relationship long ddistance begun Aug 3rd. Just ended abruptly last week in the most bizarre way. She sent me gifts two weeks before for my bday. Sent me a xmas tree ups. No lie. A real tree. This girl i had fallen in love with so quickly. We talked everyday all day. Had so many Syncronicities&strange occurrences happening. She seemed like a dream. Not real. I drempt of her&vice versa. I put my heart all out there. Wanted to meet. Even considered making sacrifice to move there.

 

I really cannot describe our relationship other than it being out of this world. She was the epitome of me. So many similarities. We clicked on all cylinders effortlessly. Like a drug she seemed i couldnt get enough of. Then BAM. I was blindsided. I surmise she wanted it to end. Why? I will never know. Its so crazy how you can cross paths with someone that you feel is the one. 1 min everything is awesome, perfect. Yet, i still always kept the notion crazy thngs happen&can chnge in a heartbeat. She claims i broke her heart&said goodbye. All this over me having some moodiness,and irritability. Whacked out if u ask me. To throw everything aeay over smething so miniscule,and frivolous.

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i dont know what to say but mate, i understand how you feel

 

It's easy to get caught in the moment but realistically it means absolutely nothing. I mean I didn't lose anything related to my real world, no messy breakup where friends and family get involved, no kids, no divorce or any kind of financial dispute about housing or possessions. No nothing and I never even kissed the woman, hugged her or anything. It's completely retarded. She was about 25 with zero sexual experience with men and I should have known better. She's from a repressed country in the Middle East but is studying in the States, very attractive but like I say things are a little more complicated where she comes from so an attractive girl never having sex till marriage is something that's actually a normality. If she was brought up in the West and told me that I would think there was something wrong with her or she is telling little porkie pies. Lol I haven't been with a virgin since my teenage years and to get dumped online by an inexperienced lady/child (as apposed to man/child) is just hilarious. ........but what should I have expected really? She talked a good game and said she was ready for all the real things and I believed it, I pictured a real life with her and everything. It's never gonna happen again, sure I'll end up chatting with people online as you do but unless I meet up with someone in real life im not gonna get involved the way I did in this situation. I guess it has its benefits though for people who are incapable of getting a partner in real life, at least they can fantasize about something that will never actually happen in their real worlds.

Edited by L1ght
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I understand how stupid you think youself is when you got dumped by a woman who is still a virgin and etc but serisouly man, you are not the first nor wont be the last to experience those type of things.

These thing happen with smart/normal people too.

There is a proverb in my country say '' Dont be so sure when you dont die in the sea, you may just end up dying in a pond''

So life is mess, and sometime stuff happened without making sense.

And yea, it will pass though. When i got dumped by my ex-LDR-fantasy-bf I was devastated because i think i never get a chance to see him, that a part of my dream was somewhere else in this planet and i never get too have it. Time passed, and i realized i was stupid, and i dont give a rat ass anymore.

Cheers

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