SoccerChick144 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 So we have been in a relationship for a year and a half and he broke up with me in the beginning of November. Said it was because he had changed as a person and wanted different things. He got a new girlfriend and slept with her 3 or 4 weeks after the break up. He told me that he was really sorry and that he regretted it almost instantly and that he wishes it could just go back to how it was before everything happened. He said that two days after the break up he knew that he had done the wrong thing and made a bad decision but felt that he didn't deserve to to have me back. He thought that it would be best if we had both tried to move on. That didn't work for either of us I guess because he was lying to the new girlfriend saying that he didn't think about me when he did and he just recently broke up with her a few days ago telling her the truth. And I know I'm probably stupid for wanting to give him a second chance but I really do love him and I know he loves me too but he's just worried that we won't be able to talk as much as we were able to before since he now has a job and trying to get more hours and I have school and am looking for a job, and the 8 hour time difference doesn't help either. He's not sure if its worth barely talking and only seeing each other maybe a total of 4 weeks out of the year. So basically I was wondering what I should do. I really don't see my life without him but I'm just not sure what he's thinking right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Why does he get to make all of these decisions for you? Where did you decide anything for yourself here? First he decides that he has changed, and you're no longer good enough for his evolved self. Then, he gets a new girl, sleeps with her - very soon after kicking you to the curb. Then he tires of her. He figures you're still hanging on, so why not try to string you along for the ride? I would advise you to start envisioning a life without him; it sounds a lot better than the picture you just painted. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SoccerChick144 Posted December 10, 2014 Author Share Posted December 10, 2014 I have made my decision, I want to try again. He knows that and I can't exactly do anything more than tell him that. And I don't think he ever thought I wasn't good enough. I feel like he just let the pressure of everything get to his head. Thats when he started working and we began speaking less but we would still talk and when we did it was good. He just gets in his own head too much sometimes. I would try to do the whole NC thing with him right after it happened but he was always the one to message me, which means he was thinking about me, right? But this last week since he broke up with the other girlfriend we've been talking a bit more and it just feels like nothing has happened but he's still on the edge. Link to post Share on other sites
juicygirl Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 I know you want to give it another go and I'm sure you'll go back to him. I wanted to ask what is the point? If you only see each other 4 weeks out of the year and barely get to talk because of a time difference, what type of relationship will this be? Or is it more of a fantasy? I think he pulled the plug because of your current situation and thought having a new girl would make it easier for him to move on, and if you to think of him as a dirty bag you'd get over him quicker( no excuse, just my thoughts on the matter). In his head he knows it makes more logical sense to break but his having a hard time letting go. If you want it to work you both need a plan and time limit to how long this distance will last. If it's too long it wouldn't work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SoccerChick144 Posted December 10, 2014 Author Share Posted December 10, 2014 Another thing is that just before the break up he had bought me a pretty expensive birthday present that was customized so he can't return it. Then he broke up with me 3 weeks before my birthday. I didn't understand why he would buy me an expensive gift and then break up with me a week later. We have both also been saving to meet, with him getting the job we thought we were really on track and I was really close to being able to afford a plane ticket. The plan was for me to go there during the summer for the first time and he was going to pay for the accommodations and such. I just don't understand why he did all of this when we were so much closer to everything. Thats really why I don't want to give up because we were so close to everything we had hoped for. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 Seems to me you spend a lot of time trying to work out what he's thinking or doing. Lasting relationships do not involve constant confusion and misunderstandings. You're both wasting your time here. Cut loose and find someone who's a better fit that you don't have to second guess all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 When he's undecided, don't push it. Wait until he's sure. You're just putting yourself in a bad situation if you do otherwise. If he remains undecided, detach yourself from him. It's his loss. Don't throw yourself at him again. That's the quickest way to fail again. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts