Distance affects his moods?

[beandel]

Hello everyone, this post is relatively long but the questions are simple, I've just given a back story is all.

 

I've recently entered into my third official LDR (I know right? I wonder if I'm crazy but somehow the people I end up falling for are either away from me or I move away from them.) I've really tried to properly manage this one - we've been together officially about 2 + months now and have known each other for around 7 months in total in a romantic sense.

 

We met on an online dating site and it has just been magical- from the first meet up to now where we've met again and I can see how our affections have grown. I really do like this guy a lot and I am sure he feels the same.

 

I was wondering two things :

 

1. When he was leaving at the airport this last time we've met, his mood towards me in the last hour before we parted changed drastically. He was irritable and moody, snapping at me and it seemed he was so eager to just be away from me and go into the boarding area. He left me about 40 minutes before he needed to (which in LDR time is an eternity!) and when we chatted about it he said he just didn't want to cry. Basically my question is, has this happened to anyone else? Does this seem perfectly normal? Keep in mind is he generally just a big goofball and such a positive and optimistic person. I am usually the one who cannot stop crying and being sad. This trip he cried quite a bit before we left for the airport and then he started snapping. He's never snapped at me before like that and I just found it terribly odd, especially for his personality.

 

2. I've been in LDR's before but I feel this time for some reason its just the absolute worst! This last time we parted I've woken up terribly depressed every morning since. Its hard for me to focus on what I need to and I get overwhelmed if I do not focus on other things. It gets better later on in the day but sometimes when I think of not seeing him and missing him I feel so exasperated! (Once I almost had an anxiety attack). When I talk to him he seems fine, he says he's sad and I believe him, but I just wonder if I am feeling it way more than he is or if he is just trying to not to show it? I don't wish him to be sad or depressed but I am wondering if it is normal for me to be feeling this sad? His level of sadness is making me feel like maybe I am overdoing it and he is normal. He would never check a forum or read articles and it seems like these things are keeping me afloat at this point. Do you think his nonchalance is normal or means something and is my depression too much and needs looking at? Has anyone else felt this sad and what have you done to help fix it?

[HeavenOrHell]

Yes, for sure distance and saying goodbye after you've seen each other can result in one or both of the couple being distant as a way of coping with it, it's like they don't want to feel it too much or the pain of missing them is too great. If a person is missed too much in an LDR then an LDR may not be possible.

 

A person may miss their partner but find it easier to deal with than the other person, this doesn't mean they don't care as much, it just means they have found ways to cope with the distance, or are just generally better at being on their own.

 

If a person is too focussed on the other, and missing them so much then the LDR won't be possible unless there is an end date as a goal.

Both need to focus on their lives at home, otherwise you feel you are leading a double life and it is too unsettling. As well as make time for each other each day, or most days, as well.

 

UOTE=beandel;5943403]Hello everyone, this post is relatively long but the questions are simple, I've just given a back story is all.

 

I've recently entered into my third official LDR (I know right? I wonder if I'm crazy but somehow the people I end up falling for are either away from me or I move away from them.) I've really tried to properly manage this one - we've been together officially about 2 + months now and have known each other for around 7 months in total in a romantic sense.

 

We met on an online dating site and it has just been magical- from the first meet up to now where we've met again and I can see how our affections have grown. I really do like this guy a lot and I am sure he feels the same.

 

I was wondering two things :

 

1. When he was leaving at the airport this last time we've met, his mood towards me in the last hour before we parted changed drastically. He was irritable and moody, snapping at me and it seemed he was so eager to just be away from me and go into the boarding area. He left me about 40 minutes before he needed to (which in LDR time is an eternity!) and when we chatted about it he said he just didn't want to cry. Basically my question is, has this happened to anyone else? Does this seem perfectly normal? Keep in mind is he generally just a big goofball and such a positive and optimistic person. I am usually the one who cannot stop crying and being sad. This trip he cried quite a bit before we left for the airport and then he started snapping. He's never snapped at me before like that and I just found it terribly odd, especially for his personality.

 

2. I've been in LDR's before but I feel this time for some reason its just the absolute worst! This last time we parted I've woken up terribly depressed every morning since. Its hard for me to focus on what I need to and I get overwhelmed if I do not focus on other things. It gets better later on in the day but sometimes when I think of not seeing him and missing him I feel so exasperated! (Once I almost had an anxiety attack). When I talk to him he seems fine, he says he's sad and I believe him, but I just wonder if I am feeling it way more than he is or if he is just trying to not to show it? I don't wish him to be sad or depressed but I am wondering if it is normal for me to be feeling this sad? His level of sadness is making me feel like maybe I am overdoing it and he is normal. He would never check a forum or read articles and it seems like these things are keeping me afloat at this point. Do you think his nonchalance is normal or means something and is my depression too much and needs looking at? Has anyone else felt this sad and what have you done to help fix it?