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need help dealing with trust issues


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so im new to this thing. dont know how im supposed to jump into this, but here goes. im currently in a long distance relationship that is very new. ive been talking to my guy for about four months now. at first things were strictly on a friendship basis and i didnt really respond to him much. i wasnt looking for a relationship didnt feel ready for one, much less one that was online. wed flirt from time to time and we enjoyed talking to each other. the communication got more and more consistant and he began telling me very early that he was in love with me. now neone else at this point probably would have ran, but me being the sap that i am thought it was sweet and just overlooked it as him being confused. needless to say, my feelings have evolved very much since then and admitedly very fast. now weve been officially together for about a month.

 

 

since weve made it official i find myself being more and more intense and getting upset over things that i shouldnt. i have trust and insecurity issues which makes the long distance thing even more difficult. ad to that, the fact that we have never met in person so even though we talk everyday and i know a lot about him, i dont really know him as well as id like.

 

 

a couple days ago i blew up at him because i didnt get to talk to him in the evening like i usually do. apparently he was upset at some things going on with his ex and he had to deal with them in his own way. i felt hurt that he didnt feel he could talk to me and really i just went nuts on him when he made every effort to apologize and make things right with me. after giving it some thought and talking to my best friend about it, i realized that i was being way too intense. its as if i was trying to sabotage my relationship with him without even knowing it.

 

 

ive never had a meaningful relationship last past a month and im thinking maybe its my fault. i have kind of a disfunctional family and so i never really learned how to model a healthy and succesful relationship. whats even more frustrating is that i realize some of these issues i have and yet i always manage to fail in fixing them. im truly in love with this man and i really want things to work out. how do i deal with these issues and still maintain my relationship? what can i do to make myself more trusting and to let go of the idea that every man that im with is trying to get over on me? to neone who has or has had a succesful longterm relationship or ne for that matter...what helps u to overcome jealousy, insecurity and everything else that may occur in this situation?

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I think you should meet this person face to face before you get yourself too emotionally attached to see if you have chemistry in person, because sometimes on-line romance doesn't tranlate well into real life.

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yeah thanks. so trust issues still here and as they should b cuz i just found out apparently he got his ex pregnant. wtf was i thinking???!!! please ignore this inquiry

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Never trust these online things..... :eek: I hope you have better luck next time and I really wouldn´t recommend these online relationships, they are bizarre.....

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Don't totally give up on Online relationships. I met my girlfriend over the Internet, and she's the most wonderful person ever. I like her so darn much, and things are going unbelievably well. You just need to make sure you get some face time to be sure that it's real. You also need to be very careful cause it's very easy to mis-represent yourself over the internet, much more so then in person.

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Originally posted by Papillon

Damn...thank the gods for LDR's :eek:

 

LOL, gee thanks Papillon.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Author

yeah so i havent been on this thing and im super late. but thank u to everyone who commented. he and i are actually friends now believe it or not. no grudges here. but neway, looks like the online thing isnt what its cracked up to be unless the person is actually close enough to where u can meet frequently. enh i dunno. thanks again all :-)

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