ashertua Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) Hi everyone my boyfriend and i have been together for 3months then i decided to go back to my country coz my visa will expire. So we decided to be engaged, filed my petition paper while and just do a long distance relationship for a while..I was really afraid of this LDR coz i've tried it before and it didn't work out for me, it lasted only 2years, but then in my boyfriends case. This is gonna be his first time to have an LDR so it made me much more scared. For the first two months everything was good, we always talk, call, skype, text but then on the 3rd month he met new friends since then he doesn't have time to talk to me. He's always out, the only text or word that i would here from him was good morning and iloveyou. that's it!! i keep asking him how was his day but then he will only say it was good.. i still tell him everything that i do whole day but when i ask him he only says it was the same routine then after that he will tell me that he's going out with his friends tonight (girls and boys). and he never tell me where, what they're doing and even never tells me that he's home already.. the last text that i would receive from him is i'm going out now and that's it.. in the next day, i would even be lucky if i'll receive a goodmorning text from him.. i tried to get angry at him, told him that he needs to text me and the only thing he always says is to trust him. But i do trust him a lot. The only point that i have is that we are in LDR and the only thing we have is communicAtion.. this thing has been going on for 1.5 months.. don't know if i can keep up with this thing.. he also told me that he is just trying to have a lot of fun coz he knows that when i get back to him. his attention would all be into me.. but i don't know if that's what i want right now, not having any attention from him. i even think that he's new friends might even know him better than me. what should i do? can anybody tell me an idea if i should just let my bf/fiance do whatever he wants or just breakup with him.. i love him so much but if i'm going to marry him i need to feel that he loves me too. Edited May 18, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 Hi everyone my boyfriend and i have been together for 3months ... if i'm going to marry him i need to feel that he loves me too. Ok. I have no idea how old you are, I might assume you're both students. But thinking of marriage after 3 months being local and 3.5 months LD is a bit excessive to me. He's always out, the only text or word that i would here from him was good morning and iloveyou. that's it!! For a guy it can be fine, I guess. i keep asking him how was his day but then he will only say it was good.. i still tell him everything that i do whole day but when i ask him he only says it was the same routine 1) stop telling him whatever you do, every single day 2) he doesn't want to bore you telling you the very same things over and over every day 3) he's comfortable about you because you clearly show how much you're into him, aka it's evident 4) stop your i-love-you-to-bits behavior, and be a bit more mysterious about your daily whereabouts he never tell me where, what they're doing and even never tells me that he's home already.. the last text that i would receive from him is i'm going out now and that's it.. in the next day, i would even be lucky if i'll receive a goodmorning text from him.. Don't give up. i tried to get angry at him, told him that he needs to text me and the only thing he always says is to trust him. He didn't get it yet. i don't know if i can keep up with this thing.. I don't know you, but I guess the answer would be: NO. You are clearly showing signs of being fed up already. And with a reason. he also told me that he is just trying to have a lot of fun coz he knows that when i get back to him. his attention would all be into me.. Ok. Just tell him very clearly and calmly that that time is not gonna happen. If he continues with his behavior, he's not going to see you again. He needs to be aware of that, and then decide if he's willing to risk it. You need to be very clear on that, so that he can make his decision. He will have option A and option B on his plate, and he'll have to choose. If you don't put it under those terms, he's risking to lose you without even knowing about that. Because he might feel sure about you after all. can anybody tell me an idea if i should just let my bf/fiance do whatever he wants or just breakup with him.. No. Don't let him have it his way, because it's clearly making you suffer a lot and it creates a lot of tension. And don't break up with him either. Not yet. Give him a chance. If he fails to put in some effort, then you decide accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
KraftDinner Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 Break up with him. Well, actually he has already, in essence, broken up with you. He's clearly done with you. He's just being a coward and not coming out and saying it. He's done. You should be too. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 I will state the obvious and say that 3.5 months is very, very early to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. You don't know each other very well after such a short time. He's showing that he's not as invested as you are. You have to decide now if this is really the man you want to be your husband. How old are both of you? Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 .... he met new friends since then he doesn't have time to talk to me. These are really the only words in your post that are important. If he doesn't have time to talk to you (because he has found something better to do!) then it's time for you to call it quits. I'm sorry but that's really all there is to say. Link to post Share on other sites
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