Any ideas??

[Sarah Lee]

My husband & I dated for a little over 3 years before we got married. He asked me to marry him really early in our relationship & then a few times after that but I knew we weren't ready so I didn't agree until I knew we were. We've been married for 2 years now so in total we've been together for 5 years. The first 3 years of dating we lived in the same country & we had the occasional ups and down that most couples have but nothing to serious that we couldn't work out, we obviously grew & moved past them. We now live in different countries, we're apply for a new Visa for me so in the mean time I'm in the Caribbean & he's in the U.S. We've been in a long distance relationship for 1 1/2 years now where we sometimes don't see each other for 4-6 month periods. Lately he hasn't been responding to my emails, text msgs or calls... When I do call (which isn't often) he usually doesn't pick up but sends me a text msg saying he's with either a cousin or a friend. When I send my email he'll read it & doesn't respond until the next day or many many hours later.. If I send him cute photos he opens them & never mentions anything about the cute photo (normally he use so say "awww babe that's so cute").. He always says he'll call but he never does... he gets out of work at around 3pm & he usually doesn't contact me until late at night , which he then says "I'm tired" or "I'm not a phone person" or he'll just send me a text saying good nite.. We never talk on webcam... We usually just send very short msg saying good morning & good night that's how it's been for the last few months.. I understand he's busy at work so I never contact him while he's at work it's usually after.. I'm a very secure person so I never restrict him from doing anything or going anywhere.. I'm not working at the moment because I've been getting all the paper work together, My parents support me a lot financially/spiritually/emotionally in every way possible, because I guess there trying to make things easier on us because of our situation.. I feel like he takes me for granted because he knows I'm very faithful & he can trust me completely 100%, I know for sure he has no doubt in his mind that I would ever be unfaithful & do anything to purposely hurt him... I feel like he should make some time at least once every few days to be involved in each others lives knowing that we live so far apart.. He makes time to hang out with friends or family.. which I encourage.. But I don't understand why he wouldn't make time for us.. If I mention anything about ending our marriage he gets angry & doesn't want to at all. When we do talk he talks about our future together, & us growing old together & things you want your husband to say, but that's the thing his actions are sooo different from what he says... I'm not always the one that initiate contact.. he texts me every morning & says good morning also he texts me at night & says good night but I feel like were growing apart because a marriage should be more than just a friendly causal good morning & good night..!!! Like for example he'll tell me he'll call me after work & he never does & the next day he'll just say "good morning" & not even bring up the fact that he had me waiting all afternoon or all night for his call... Sunday night I sent him a msg saying "I have something exciting to tell you", I saw that he read my msg but he didn't reply, the next day he lied & told me he didn't receive my msg until that morning & he'll call me Monday after work.. so Monday he text me at 5pm & said he'll call in a few mins... it was 9pm & he didn't call so I went to bed.. He called at 9:34pm but I was asleep.. he didn't call on Tuesday & this morning he sent me a text and say " I'll call you in a few minutes to say good morning" but he never did call me, then he sent me a text msgs not even bringing up the fact that he didn't call.. My issue is - Don't tell me you'll call & have me wait for your call, instead of waiting for his call I could be doing something else.. He keeps saying "when you get back everything would be ok again" I'm probably not going to be back for another year & I feel like I cant take another year of this.. I've spoke to him about it many times & nothing seems to be any different.. I do not play games or feel like I need to play games in our marriage, I'm not gonna belittle myself & do something that's unproductive to keep my marriage.. I do however would love some kind of advice if anyone knows why he may be acting he way he does & what I can do to make the situation better.. How can you save a marriage when your thousands of miles apart?? Thank you so much in advance for any help..!!

[FitChick]

Please break it up into paragraphs or bullet points. No one wants to read a wall of text.

[ExpatInItaly]

That's a sad situation. It's definitely hard to feel like your efforts and needs are going unnoticed.

 

I think you've done what you can do. The rest is up to him. If you want things to change, tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not accept this treatment anymore. Mean it, and be prepared to walk away if he doesn't hold up his end of the marriage.

 

It honestly sounds like he's just not interested any longer. Could he possibly be with someone else? A man who truly misses his wife and wants to make the marriage work would NOT behave the way he has.

[Sarah Lee]

I'm sorry about the long essay type thing.. I'm new to forums, Someone actually sent me this link in hopes that it would help me get more advice from people in situations like mines....

 

I sometimes feels like may be he does have someone else & he doesn't know how to end things with us or if he really wants to end things with us.. But if that's the case I have to just leave him to be with that person, I'm not going to fight for someone who doesn't want to be with me.. He actually called last night & we talked for a few hours about the Visa paper work & I told him how I felt about what's happening & ways that we can make things better..

 

He's gonna try to come this summer for 2 months & lets hope that be does come & things get sorted out better in person..!!