Moving together

[edgygirl]

So I met this guy on a trip to see family a month ago. We went on 3 dates during that week. As we are a bit over 40, he expressed very clearly and fast that he was looking for someone to get married. And perhaps try to have a baby, etc. We've been talking daily and constantly for the past month and pretty much since the first week he seemed to make it clear he thought I was the one. It was too fast for me but at the same time I only have 1-2 years to have a baby.

 

I wanted to see how we felt when we spent more time together. He finally came to my city to spend the weekend with me. We got along very well physically to my relief. I also enjoyed his company. He is not my typical type, he is really extroverted but maybe my type is not what's right for me. He is in a confusing place professionally, changing professions, although he claims to have meanings and savings to support a family.

 

He said he would like us to be together. As I can't move in the next 10 months, he said he would like to come be with me in the Summer and on (depending on a few other things regarding work in the Fall), and then next year perhaps we could move to his city or so.

 

I am very nervous about him moving in with me mainly because we don't know each other that well. Ie. we had a small fight on our last night together going out, I think it's because we don't know yet how to deal with each other. Things that take time as a couple... I know we will have many things to work out as our personalities sometimes seem to crash a bit.

 

The positive I see in this is that I do like him, we have various shared interests and goals. I also want to try for a baby (as he does, and keep repeating that it's the first time in his life he found someone he wants a family and a kid with). And... we're not getting any younger. Also, him paying bills will be great now as my solo business is slow and we agreed I should not look for a job now if we want to try for a baby. Also he mentioned marriage in the Summer as well. Serious business

 

All this seems quite scary - the pace, the bigness of it all so fast so soon. I've been trying to find someone since I divorced in '09 and it is so hard to find someone with similar interests and same life goals. I wanted to find someone who knows what he wants and now that I did my commitment phobe ways seem to be creeping in... it's like I am trying to find excuses on why it's not a good idea. I am excited and scared about him moving here. What are things to look for? I'm afraid we'll fight... it's a small apartment in a really expensive city and it will be heard to afford a bigger one for now. How can I prepare for this all? I unfortunately do have to keep in mind that if I wait too long I won't be able to have a baby so recommendations on waiting won't be very helpful :/ Thanks guys hope you can help me with you LDR wisdom.