Long-Distance Feelings .. or?

[cluelessXgirl]

Okay peeps heres the thing.. I've been thinking about posting this here in quite some time..months actually. I can't figure anything out and I need help and advise. Last year I met a guy online and at first it was just a friendly chat. He is my age (17 then but 18 now) but not form my town. 200-300 km away.. after some time the chat became more flirty. He was getting over his ex and it was really hard and I was jsut there for him. We wrote the same things in the same second (it was really weird), we like the same things and I guess this is where lead us to another level. I was logged on every single day (just like him). One day he told me he wants to spend all his days with me, and then asked me if I would go with him when he leaves this country (which is my intention too) and how could I say no when he was my hobby, something I grew addicted too. I had nothing better to do specially it was after my grandfather died and I needed somebody to make me laugh and he could do that. Then we ended up discussing if he would move in with me and he agreed. I live with my granmother but she had plans to leave me at home alone so it was oging to be the perfect little life. One day I did something bad.. I wrote some things to him (he was online) but he didnt reply. I went mad and blocked him.. we were logging in skype and I could see his mood change and I tought he was just ignoring me and I did that to make him at least ask me whats wrong with me or have some reaction but nothing. So then passed a day then a week then another one and after two weeks we found eachother in some chats again. In the site we met. After some talking everything was fine again then one day he started acting weird...he closed off. I told him a lot of things.. that I wanted t be with him that I would even move into his town and he said he wanted me but the distance is too big, he would cheat on me and stuff like that. I continued writing to him and then he started to act even colder...he talked to me about other girls told me how they talk at night, sent me a picture of some girl (from another country) and after some more time I flipped. I told him I felt really REALLY bad because of him, that he doesn't act the same anymore and he just laughed. He said he hadn't lost me that much time and that I'd find somebody else. I flipped I called him a jerk and he blocked me. I felt like used trash and I wasnt sure what exactly changed...4 months passed and well I contacted him. He said he was trying to find me but never found me online (is it lies?). He says he's sorry but he wants to be alone. He writes to me and I don't...I even told him if he finds a girl like me again he should really hold on to her but he lost me.I havent logged on for some time because I'm scared of attaching again. Last week he did something pretty childish... theres a site where people can ask anonymous questions and he(anonymously) asked me "Who is (his nickname)" the deal is I haven't told his little name to anyone ever. He denied asking the question but its pretty obvious. I'm not sure whats going on anymore.. can anybody point me to whats happening?

 

P.S This is the second guy I've wanted like that and I am not really a pro in the feelings and love. I would appreciate all opinion.

Edited April 21, 2013 by cluelessXgirl

[justwhoiam]

Possible clues:

- he likes flirting with girls online

- it is likely you were not the only one he was flirting with, but you also left a mark and others did not

- when you got to talk to him again after you blocked him, maybe he reconnected to his ex, thus the different behavior

- some guys are very touchy, and the move you made (blocking him) is not something he's going to forget easily

 

Anyway, before planning to move anywhere, you should meet the person IRL first. You know very little about him. Meeting someone for real is totally a different experience than talking online.

[cluelessXgirl]

Yes I know... doesn't explain to me why he's writing to me again...

[cluelessXgirl]

and uhm.... before I blocked him I was sure there were no other girls ... after that I was sure there were.. But then the things he did... recently I told him he lost me and he started writing more often and he said he's waiting for me to fix my computer (it had issues xD) and teach me how to play some games(which means he wants time with me)..

And after he blocked me I met other guys and tried to have a relationship but there just wasnt anything that was better...thats something that I really want to fix, because I want somebody who can make me laugh that much except not online.

[cluelessXgirl]

Possible clues:

- he likes flirting with girls online

- it is likely you were not the only one he was flirting with, but you also left a mark and others did not

- when you got to talk to him again after you blocked him, maybe he reconnected to his ex, thus the different behavior

- some guys are very touchy, and the move you made (blocking him) is not something he's going to forget easily

 

Anyway, before planning to move anywhere, you should meet the person IRL first. You know very little about him. Meeting someone for real is totally a different experience than talking online.

 

Oh and onem ore thing...the way I look at it now.. I hurt him and then he hurt me a lot more ...he says he looked for me but oculdnt find me online anywhere and after all of this I still wanna try and figure out why would he still message..does he want to keep hurting me?

 

P.S i told him its obvious im not important to him and he said I am wrong. Why does he keep confusing me?

[justwhoiam]

recently I told him he lost me and he started writing more often and he said he's waiting for me to fix my computer (it had issues xD) and teach me how to play some games(which means he wants time with me)..

It's when you lose someone that you realize how you miss them...

 

I want somebody who can make me laugh that much except not online.

Then stop spending all that time online. Go out and meet people. Arrange things with friends, do new things... see new places and new people. You'll have more chances to meet someone interesting.

 

he says he looked for me but oculdnt find me online anywhere and after all of this I still wanna try and figure out why would he still message..does he want to keep hurting me?

He probably enjoys your company. What's wrong about that? If you made him feel good and had a good time, he will want to repeat the experience.

 

i told him its obvious im not important to him and he said I am wrong. Why does he keep confusing me?

I guess you want something else out of it, not just friendship. And he didn't offer anything else so far. You can just wait and see. Or move on. It's up to you.

[cluelessXgirl]

It's when you lose someone that you realize how you miss them...

 

Then stop spending all that time online. Go out and meet people. Arrange things with friends, do new things... see new places and new people. You'll have more chances to meet someone interesting.

 

He probably enjoys your company. What's wrong about that? If you made him feel good and had a good time, he will want to repeat the experience.

 

I guess you want something else out of it, not just friendship. And he didn't offer anything else so far. You can just wait and see. Or move on. It's up to you.

 

Your right but he did use to offer more than friendship so I guess I never let that go.. Yesterday I started playing bad like hard to get and stuff and he started messaging often and tried to show me he still tought about me when I wasn't there. If this was you what would you do? Have you had any experience with something like this? And thank you for all your time!

[justwhoiam]

Your right but he did use to offer more than friendship

What exactly?

 

Yesterday I started playing bad like hard to get and stuff and he started messaging often and tried to show me he still tought about me when I wasn't there. If this was you what would you do?

If I have an interest in him, like you clearly do, I would want him to make some move. If a clear move from his part doesn't happen, I would think maybe he likes me, but not so much as to make a move, so I'd move on and start going out and see new people.

 

Have you had any experience with something like this?

If you mean someone after me? Yes. How sensitive I am to that basically depends on how genuine I think he is & how attracted I am to him.

 

I'm not sure what he wrote to you.

[cluelessXgirl]

What exactly?

 

If I have an interest in him, like you clearly do, I would want him to make some move. If a clear move from his part doesn't happen, I would think maybe he likes me, but not so much as to make a move, so I'd move on and start going out and see new people.

 

If you mean someone after me? Yes. How sensitive I am to that basically depends on how genuine I think he is & how attracted I am to him.

 

I'm not sure what he wrote to you.

 

LIke I said he wanted to move in my town for me and we were talking about it often. I did some stupid things and he did most of the other stupid things. We talked yestreday and we both know we cant snap our fingers and be inlove but we wont leave things like that. He said he started messaging again because he tought it could be like before but its a no way that all of the things he did could be forgotten so I made it easy. I said I want it to be like before and if he forgets the stupid things I did then I would forget his and he said he wanted that so we're off to a clear start. Doesnt matter if well stick to being friends or more at least we wont part with bad memories of eachother.