Dolly Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 I feel destroyed now. I am a Russian girl of 26 y.o. living in St.Petersburg, Russia. Several months ago I met a Swedish guy who became the best man in my life. I fell in love with him and he seemed to be very much interested in our relations but something went wrong... The problem is that he is working in Moscow and thus we can meet once or twice a month. First, we regularly met and spent gorgeous time together but later on he told that he could not go to see me that often and I asked him for his plans regarding our relations. Well, he said that he did not have an idea of how it would work and looked quite nervous and irresolute. I tried not to be selfish and decided to wait until he makes up his mind and asks me to move in Moscow or .. whatever.. I was surprised very much but he just disappeared! He has his mobile off, he never replied to my email, no news, nothing! I feel hurt and bewildered. I miss him a lot. I suffered from Russian infantile men, I cannot stand their weakness and inability to take any responsibility for someone's feelings. Is it the same for all men? I mean that it's my first foreign boyfriend. I just want to know if this behaivour is common for any nation men or it is just a POOR LUCK? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 ai, Dolly, it sounds like the guy may have a family or girlfriend back home and is just making time with you while working in Russia. You're probably better off trying to meeting a nice local guy, rather than start something up with someone who isn't there and who may find it easy to hide his past or his personal life. Guys are a mystery, and you're going to date a lot of them before you find a mate. And even then, they do things that just surprise the heck out of you, both good and bad surpises. (I'm sure the argument goes both ways, that guys see us women as big mysteries.) there are lots of fish in the sea, so keep casting your line until you come up with one you're happy to have landed. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 Guys suck period. Except Tony, Paul, and Bill of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Dolly Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 Originally posted by quankanne ai, Dolly, it sounds like the guy may have a family or girlfriend back home and is just making time with you while working in Russia. You're probably better off trying to meeting a nice local guy, rather than start something up with someone who isn't there and who may find it easy to hide his past or his personal life. To quankanne: Thank you for your comments. well, he told me that he had a girlfriends for 7 years but they are apart for more than 2 years already and since then he had sex relations only. He has been working in Moscow for several years and planning keep on it. He likes Russia and does not want to leave. Maybe, he does not like me and that's really hurt me because I do love him. there are lots of fish in the sea, so keep casting your line until you come up with one you're happy to have landed. I was always VERY careful about my heart and it would not be easy for me now to accept anyone for a long time... Link to post Share on other sites
Tolkien Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 Originally posted by Ally Boo Guys suck period. Except Tony, Paul, and Bill of course. ................. However, I won't hold that against you because you probably have no idea I'd joined the forum, hehe... Hello everyone btw..... Link to post Share on other sites
Bizzit Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 [color=red][/color] Link to post Share on other sites
ladyofthelake Posted March 5, 2003 Share Posted March 5, 2003 Dear Dolly, I'm having to deal with something similar, although for different reasons and not exactly the same. However, the end result is the same. Regardless of the reason or circumstance, I think a code to live by is you have to get to the point where you don't want anyone in your life who doesn't want to be there. There is always someone else, and though it sounds trite, there is always someone else right around the next corner. It depends on the person or people involved whether true love is really present. If he doesn't love you, and it sounds like true love never really was established here, in his own heart he owes you nothing. I don't think anyone should make one's self too "available". I think Shakespeare had the right idea. "to thine ownself be true". If you don't love yourself first, you can't expect anyone else to love you in the right way. I think love is more than a feeling. Feelings can be transient. I think love is a commitment. If I were you, since he hasn't contacted you and has made himself "unavailable" it's his way of saying good bye. I am sorry if that hurts, but better to hurt over something temporary than hurt for a lifetime over a bigger mistake. Time will heal the hurt and you'll be just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 5, 2003 Share Posted March 5, 2003 Originally posted by Dolly I suffered from Russian infantile men, I cannot stand their weakness and inability to take any responsibility for someone's feelings. I'm not sure what you mean here, but no one is responsibile for your feelings but you, and it's an awfully big burden, and one that is impossible to bear, to attempt to place the responsibility for your feelings on someone else. I might say or do something that inadvertently will hurt my husband's feelings (or vice versa) and I can apologize for it if necessary, but I am not responsible for his feelings, and he is not responsible for mine. It's a fine line, but once recognized and accepted, relationships become much easier and healthier. At least that's my experience. I think everyone else gave you some good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted March 5, 2003 Share Posted March 5, 2003 posted by Ally Boo Guys suck period. Except Tony, Paul, and Bill of course. Thank you!!!! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Bizzit Posted March 5, 2003 Share Posted March 5, 2003 I think I tend to agree on that statment! lol Link to post Share on other sites
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