Missybear Posted December 31, 2002 Share Posted December 31, 2002 Okay. My boyfriend and I recently decided to make our long-distance relationship much shorter-he's moving in with me. I live in a city outside our hometown (about 2 hrs) and have to stay here for work. He at this very moment is supposedly spending his last few times with his friends back in the hometown. This time spending has been going on for a week or two, and tomorrow is New Year's Eve. He told me he would be staying for new year's eve at home so he could 'party'. I whined about being alone, but his response was ans unenthusiastical "aww". So I'm upset...and I feel that what he's choosing to do is wrong. I mean, shouldn't he want to ring in the new year with his girlfriend more than his friends. Please, any feedback would be wonderful.-- <e-mail address removed> Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted December 31, 2002 Share Posted December 31, 2002 Just curious what your ages are, as that may have affect the advice you receive, somewhat. It sounds like maybe he's backing away from you because he's possibly having issues with living together...maybe he fears that once you live together, he'll be 'tied down' and won't have any freedom. Whose idea was it to live together? How long have you been together? You said he's been away from you, spending time with his friends for 1-2 weeks now...which is it? Yes, I do think it's rather rude that he's choosing his friends over you. He's already spent lots of time with them. When you're in a relationship with someone, and surely when you're about to live together, it would seem 'common sense' to me that you wouldn't think twice about starting off the New Year together with your significant other. Sounds like he's pretty selfish and immature and not the least bit sensitive to your feelings. His unenthusiastic (and rude) response of "awwww", was rather a$$h*lish. This doesn't sound like a guy who's ready to live with you (or anyone). Sounds like he's getting cold feet. No sense bringing up the issue again, of him choosing to spend New Years without you. Any guy who'd be so stupid, well, I don't think you're going to get through to him. If it were me in your shoes, I'd totally be 100% unavailable for the entire day, the night, and into the next day. Don't let him think for one moment that you spent the next 24 hrs, all bummed out and sitting at home waiting by the phone. Some might call this 'playing games' but I think it's just being smart. Surely he doesn't think you're going to sit at home and twiddle your thumbs while he's out with his friends, does he? So screen your calls, be busy, don't call him, make yourself scarce. Hell, the least he could have done was invited you to come down (or up?) to spend it with him AND his friends (seeing as it's only a couple hours away). When he *does* decide to return home and grace you with his presence, I'd sit him down and have a good heart to heart talk about living together (does he still want to and is he acting like a horse's butt because he's changed his mind about it?).....and whether he has some kind of problems with setting priorities (you being a priority). I'd be livid if I were in your shoes......he's disrespecting you big time, I think..and not the kind of behavior you'd expect from someone you're supposedly going to be living with. So what happens when you DO live together, is he going to bugger off back to his friends for days at a time, leaving you like a single gal? Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted December 31, 2002 Share Posted December 31, 2002 sounds like a keeper! ugh Link to post Share on other sites
Bizzit Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 I hate that your going threw something like that because it isnt any fun at all I know. I hope that he would think that your the light of day witch im sure you are. He should of been with you. I hope that everything works out for the best with you two. God Bless you. Link to post Share on other sites
Tolkien Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 I think Just A Girl2 said everything that needs to be said about it. Another possibility is that he just doesn't have the "lady skills" heh... By that, I mean he doesn't realize that by your tone of voice you would have liked him to stay, or spend time with him. This may be a dumb question, but how many times did you two see each other in the real life before deciding to move in with each other? And times when you’re half drunk don't count Link to post Share on other sites
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