coffee_addict Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 ive been with my bf for just over a month and a half, maybe less than a week of which we have actually spent together. he came down to visit me for 4/5 days (im at uni) and we were together a few days at home before i came back to uni after easter (we both live in the same city usually.) im 19 and this is my first ever proper relationship, yet it doesnt feel like it. im unsure of whether i like him as a person or whether i like having 'a boyfriend'. i dont know how to distinguish between the 2 - he was here for 4 nights, 5 days, and after being with each other 24/7 at the end i was half sad he was going but also wanted some time to myself. im about to move back home for 3 months, and i really dont know what to do. because ive never been in a relationship before i dont know how to tell what im feeling, and im so confused. i guess i just need some help on how to distinguish whether i like him or i like having a bf - any ideas? some help and advice would really be appreciated the way im feeling right now :( i keep thinking i should give it time to see if stronger feelings develop but then i dont want to use him. Link to post Share on other sites
catrocks Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 I don't think you should worry about it too much. I think after being constantly together for 5 days it's natural to want some alone time, and it doesn't mean that you don't want to be with him. I do think you should give it some time, like you said. You're not using him at all and you shouldn't worry that you are. We never know if relationships will work out but without giving them time and seeing if they are worth it we will never know. Don't feel bad about that. How do you feel when you think about him? When you're reminiscing about times you spent together does it make you smile and miss him? When you're with him are you wishing you could be with your friends or someone else instead? Link to post Share on other sites
Author coffee_addict Posted June 4, 2007 Author Share Posted June 4, 2007 thanks catrocks well i havent been with him many times, as i say probably less than a week actually spent together - but when i have been with him ive enjoyed it, and cant remember wishing i was elsewhere, or with anyone else. my feelings about missing him change - for example this morning i did feel like i was missing him, but i was talking to him on msn at the time so i dont know whether that was what was making me miss him - on the other hand, right now at this moment i dont really miss him - but its too hot and i dont really miss anyone right now! see how im getting confused? theres no one way to say 'because you feel this, you definately miss him as a person.', because even when i say i missed him, i could be missing having a boyfriend around. when i think about him i'm.......unsure. i must like him, as there have been other boys/men in the past that i have had the chance to do something with, and not wanted to. i havent liked them. but my bf now is so sweet, and lovely, and all these nice things - but im really not sure what im feeling right now. Link to post Share on other sites
catrocks Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 I still think you should give it some time and see how you feel in, say, a month. I find that I don't really miss my fiancé when I'm not talking to him or thinking about him... (he lives in Ohio and I'm in England) but when I do think of him or talk to him I do miss him. It's normal to not miss someone constantly, otherwise we'd never get anything done I think everyone has doubts from time to time in any relationship, not just long distance. I understand what you're saying though, sometimes it's difficult to distinguish why you feel certain ways. There's no easy way to figure it out, you just have to give it time and give him a chance and spend some more time together and see how you feel, because in the end only you can determine how you truly feel about him Link to post Share on other sites
Author coffee_addict Posted June 4, 2007 Author Share Posted June 4, 2007 lol damn so theres no way i can definately know? surely theres some sort of measure for these things! my feelings are all over the place! im talking to him right now, and i guess i do miss him, and im going home in just under a week and im really looking forward to seeing him. i think because its my first relationship, im not sure what im supposed to feel or whats normal! i think if i just stop analysing how i feel and get on with it, it'll be much better! i tend to over-think situations and stress majorly, so i guess ill see what happens! thanks catrocks Link to post Share on other sites
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