Annabanana247 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 I’m 30 weeks pregnant, and in January I found some sex chat sites on the computer because it’s always signed into his google account. I confronted him and he denied sexting and he said he watches porn and it was probably a link from that. And he has people signed into his google account so it could have been that. I didn’t mean to snoop it was an accident it just popped up as a recent suggestion when I was searching something up. I was upset but I let it go. Well we are having a rough patch and I just searched his history because Idk I guess I’m still suspicious, which I never do and nothing after January 30th popped up. But a whole **** before that popped up and I would have still been pregnant at that time. Oh man, he told me he watched college porn and everything was porn porn porn from college to teen to searching up gay porn. There was midnight searches of escorts in our area and cheap blow jobs. I’m so upset. I don’t understand I never see him text other girls and he HATES strip clubs. He never goes when his friends ask him because he finds them gross. But there was so many escort searches from where we currently live and searches of sex stuff from where he used to live which makes no sense why he would search up girls there because he claims that he hates and never wants to go back there. I’m so upset. Sometimes I go to my parents for days at a time and when I’m gone I guess that’s when he searches that stuff up. And I’m so confused why is he searching up escorts and gay guys. He’s not even gay. I want to confront him but his mom is coming over and she will be here any minute. What the heck do I do? I feel like grabbing my stuff and leaving. I’m trying to convince myself that someone was signed into his google account and searched that up but I have no idea. We were watching a movie once and a gay scene came on and he wouldn’t even look at it so we sped it up so I’m so confused why he would search that up. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 You gotta talk to him. If he was just searching, talk it through. Chalk it up to the pregnancy & him being stupid / scared about becoming a dad. If he actually cheated -- whether or not he paid for it -- run to the nearest doctor for a complete STD screening. Then break up with him & make sure you get child support. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annabanana247 Posted May 13, 2019 Author Share Posted May 13, 2019 Thanks. Ive talked to him back in January and he denied it so I’m pretty sure he will just deny it again and get mad at me for snooping. So I’m prepared for him denying it but I’m wondering do you know if someone else was signed into his google account would it show on his laptop? Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 I don’t know for sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if searches can show up on multiple devices if they are logged on. But why would he have other people logged into his google account? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annabanana247 Posted May 13, 2019 Author Share Posted May 13, 2019 He said his phones died before and needed to check his email on his friends phone. Idk Im really mad over this but don’t want to break up with him in case he is telling the truth. It’s just hard to tell because some of it’s out of character but some of it I can see him searching up. But the escort thing is really worrying me. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 (edited) IDK. I wouldn’t break up either, unless you’re sure. But it sounds super shady. Seems pretty normal if you are using somebody else’s phone to check your email that you’d remember to log out. I mean, especially because, whenever I login on a new device I have to go through extra security protocols. Plus, you’d think he’d notice that that kind of stuff is showing up on his own search results. Sorry you’re having to deal with this. Edit: Can you search the cache and the router information and see if he was searching for this stuff when you were at your parents? Edited May 13, 2019 by Veronica73 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annabanana247 Posted May 13, 2019 Author Share Posted May 13, 2019 That’s a good idea. I didn’t have too much time to look because his mom was coming over for a few days and I saw it right before she got here. So I’m planning on looking into more detail tomorrow to see. He’s so excited about the baby! So I feel bad leaving. We have been fighting about a lot of other stuff too. It’s just so weird! Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 That’s a good idea. I didn’t have too much time to look because his mom was coming over for a few days and I saw it right before she got here. So I’m planning on looking into more detail tomorrow to see. He’s so excited about the baby! So I feel bad leaving. We have been fighting about a lot of other stuff too. It’s just so weird! Try not to freak out. You and your baby are the most important thing. I hope you can find out a definitive answer. I’ve been in a somewhat similar situation and it is NOT fun feeling like you have to be a detective in your own home. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 If he was letting someone else use his account and it was compromising his relationship with his baby's mother, don't you think the logical thing would be that he would change his password and put a stop to it? Sorry but it sounds fishy to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 He's lying to you. Stop being willing to brush it under the rug. You have to figure out if he was just looking or he actually hooked up. Since he's a excited about the baby, confront him with the medical fact that if he strayed & caught something which he could have passed onto you, through a vaginal delivery you could infect the baby. Even if he won't tell the truth for you, hopefully the fear of contaminating his unborn child will shake the truth out of him. For your baby's sake you have to get tested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 You do not actually know that he isn't gay or bi. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 I do not know of any straight guy that would look up gay anything. THIS IS CONCERNING. He's got a secret. It's not uncommon for closet gay people to be in a heterosexual marriage/relationship. With the baby coming, he's going to deny for awhile. He doesn't want to disappoint you, your family, his family, and friends. It would be quite an embarrassment to come out now. But this is something you cannot ignore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annabanana247 Posted May 14, 2019 Author Share Posted May 14, 2019 Welll everyone! Found a dating profile of him. He used one of our pictures from the summer and cropped my face out. I just left with all my stuff. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 Good for you! Take care of that baby. Best wishes moving forward. It will be tough but you can't stay. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 I just left with all my stuff. You did the right thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 I'm so sorry it took this long for this guy to show his true colors and that you are stuck dealing with him now forever. My advice: Do not try to hog custody because you need to be able to work and socialize, so once baby is old enough, you MAKE him take joint custody and learn to be a father and make him take those responsibilities and not leave it all up to you. My guess he will not want to because he's not into it. Too bad. Time he grew up. That way you can have time for relaxation and to run errands without the baby and it will be possible to work and it won't just be you having to take off work to do something with the baby and compromising your work status. He will too. Sure, he'll try to dump the baby on his mom or some new girlfriend. I hope you have some backup there locally too, though. Working people need some backup. Don't make the mistake of just doing it all because if you do, you'll be the one who suffers financially and is exhausted all the time -- and he'll be off doing what he's doing now, a whole lot of nothing. Make him be a dad and grow the F up by making him care for his child himself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 Good for you!! I’m sorry this happened to you, but I bet you’ll be so much better off without somebody like that dragging you down. Link to post Share on other sites
Xeen Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 She has a child with him. There is no getting rid of him and there shouldn't be unless he wants to bow out. She should be thinking about getting the truth from this guy and controlling his behavior; NOT panicking and fleeing and offering her unborn child a single parent household for no serious reason except her hurt feelings. It certainly may be that he did her wrong, but we don't know this, we don't know which wrong, and we don't know why. No idea what he did, no idea if the two even have a sexual relationship in the present moment. It wouldn't be the first time a bedroom went cold and one partner refused to discuss it. I'm not defending boyfriend - he sounds like a piece of work - but think before you cheer on a drastic step which will massively affect somebody's childhood, taken for emotional reasons without deliberation, confrontation, or an attempt to resolve the problem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 It may be a drastic step but experience tells us that this kind of behaviour doesn't go away it just gets worse and if she tries to control it or ignores or tries to resolve it, she will be back in a few years with two kids, another on the way and a guy who she finds out has been cheating all along, spending money on escorts and may even then be openly gay. No-one should have to spend their life "controlling" a guy so he acts like a husband and father... Link to post Share on other sites
zouz71 Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 No Defending the guy , But , OP are you sure that he cheated ? Do you have a proof ? if you are leaving him taking into consideration that you are pregnant , and you will deprive a child from having a father , listening to crazy voices advising you to do so ,in such a case it is a very immature act running away ! Sorry that's My 5 cents . the normal behavior irrespective if he is cheating on you , is to talk face to face , get enough data to make a decision , involve him in parental future needs. Link to post Share on other sites
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