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When your best friend is cheating on her boyfriend, do you tell?

Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 1st February 2017, 1:21 AM   #16
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,639
Originally Posted by Kkristine View Post
I told her how I felt about everything last night.

She became very defensive and doesn't understand why I take her cheating so personally. I told her I can't help the way that I feel. Being cheated on was the worst pain I have ever felt. I know she isn't cheating on me, but it feels like a slap in the face. I've been letting it drag on for months, and I've tried to let it go. I just can't. I don't want to be around it anymore.

She finds it unfair that she needs to demolish her relationships with these men in order for me to come around again. I told her it had nothing to do with that, I just can't help but feel resentment towards her.

I know I had personal issues with infidelity that I have to get over, but I can't get over it with my best friend doing the same darn thing and telling me all about it.

Am I in the wrong? She doesn't understand why I just can't be her friend. Believe me, I've been trying.

I get it. Her excuse is that she's almost 30 and doesn't want to be alone. I get it. But...
Why would you be in the wrong? You showed you have integrity.

And of course she doesn't's all about her. Infidelity is selfish enough as it is, but expecting people to condone their actions when they KNOW it runs counter to their principles is about as selfish as it gets.

She showed you who she was.

And please...when does "I'm almost 30 and I don't want to be alone" pass as a plausible excuse to be unfaithful to your fiance?

That is effing laughable.

Actually she in a way is cheating on your friendship, by demanding you give up your principles for accepting to be complicit in her ass covering.

Just remember that any friend that would demand you make a choice between what you know is wrong and their selfish and damaging actions is no friend at all.

Life is real and not some bad movie where all conflicts are resolved in an hour and forty minutes and the credits roll and you walk out of the theater not having to deal with any of it again. Life does not work that way, for we ARE defined by our actions, and we cannot escape that.

So rather than give you advice on what your next step should be I would just like to take a moment to commend you on making a very difficult albeit wise choice. It may seem bittersweet but your friend put you in this position, and if someone should feel awful about any of this, it's her.

Just remember that she is probably right now incapable of feeling bad about it, and probably never will until she is caught. Which eventually she will be. And when that day come the only person she will ever feels sorry for is herself.

You did just fine. Pat yourself on the back.
I promise henceforth, to be nice....until the time that I'm not so nice again. Then I'll be nice again for a brief period of time.

Last edited by Space Ritual; 1st February 2017 at 1:23 AM..
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