That_girl Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 My boyfriend and I have been on and off for about 4 years so he knows most of my friends, including the few that I don't speak to anymore. A couple of weeks ago we went to a party, and I ran into a girl that I stopped talking to about 2 years ago because we had both grown out of each other. There was also some arguing at the time but I won't get into that. The point is, I don't particularly like her anymore but my boyfriend proceeded to chat her up at this party while I was getting a drink. He's made comments about her in the past, regarding how hot she is and whatever...and I usually try not to let it bother me because I don't want to come off as a jealous freak. But that night, he asked her if she still had a boyfriend right in front of me! She and I had reconciled that night, but I still don't think that gives him any reason to be all chummy with her. I also noticed him checking her out a few times during the night and this of course really bothered me, but I still didn't mention it. Now, last week he mentioned that we should take a short cut to get to his house and went on to say that this short cut also provided him with easy access to HER house. I asked him how the **** he remembered where she lived, and he just said "i remember everyone's face and neighbourhood". At this point I wasn't just a little upset, I was ****in' pissed. He also told me that she asked for his phone number at this party, which I couldn't believe because when we were friends she wouldn't stop ****-talking him. He said that he told her to get it off someone else there, which is not exactly saying "No". I just left and have been brushing him off this whole week. I'm not sure if he knows why I'm angry since I didn't say anything...he probably thinks I'm just stressed out because of school. But anyway, I really feel like crap...he constantly compliments me and tells me how beautiful I am, but yet every once in a while he'll bring up this girl. Who knows, he probably asked her for her number and I'll just never find out about it. She has a boyfriend which I think might be the only thing that is stopping him from trying to get into her pants. What bothers me even more is that sometimes I feel like he might be doing i on purpose because of course he knows that I don't like her. I don;t know what to do, I don't want to dump him because he's usually a great guy, but I don't know if I'll be able to look past this bull****. Also, I don't want to say anything, but I have to let this out or it's going to kill me. Am I overreacting? Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Sorry, honey, a great guy doesn't flirt right in front of his woman- not at least like he did. Sounds to me like he'd want a chance with her- I say you give it to him- let him see what he's missing without you. Tell him his actions were unacceptable and that if he wants to be with you he will cut it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author That_girl Posted March 2, 2005 Author Share Posted March 2, 2005 Thanks...I think that's exactly what I'm going to do. I don't want to break up with him because I care about him so much but I won't be taken for a fool either. No second chances here, he already knows what he'll be missing without me because we stopped seeing other for about 5 months in the summer. I don't need him to cut it out either because I already know what I know, and just knowing that he wants her is never going to make me trust him. Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 I agree with Mz. Pixie that his flirting in front of you is unacceptable. I think it is worse if he is still commenting on her when she's no longer in front of him, but has stuck in his head. What an awful thing for you to go through. You have to do something about it....what if you tell him she broke up with her boyfriend just to get his reaction, to see how much into her he is. The more you suppress him from talking about her, he realizes how much it's bugging you, and it seems the more he is doing it. I CAN'T believe he would mention he knows where she lives. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by That_girl She has a boyfriend which I think might be the only thing that is stopping him from trying to get into her pants. Oh, that's grand. Sounds like you need a new boyfriend, hon. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 He flirted with the one person I can't stand right in front of me! I'm a bit confused. Is it that he flirted with someone else that bothers you? Or is it that he flirted with someone you can't stand that bothers you? Or is that this is the kind of shlt he does that bothers you? Either way - this guy sounds like a winner. I don't want to dump him because he's usually a great guy When exactly is he a great guy...........? My boyfriend and I have been on and off for about 4 years ................when you two are "on" or "off"? Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 That_girl, If your boyfriend is aggressive enough to flirt with this girl in front of you? He is defiantaly planning on chasing after her. My ex boyfriend did the same EXACT thing to me for over 7 years. I put up with him humiliating me and cheating on me and lying to me. Don't allow this to happen to you. How do you think he would react to you doing the same to him? I bet you $100.00 that he would freak out and break-up with you. Leave him. bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Author That_girl Posted March 3, 2005 Author Share Posted March 3, 2005 So I told him why I was pissed today and he completely freaked. He said that he doesn't give a **** about this girl because he's so completely obsessed with me. He said that he was talking to her just to make conversation, that he has no interest in ANYONE else but me, and that he had no idea that I was going to get mislead by what he said like that. He then proceeded to cry and beg me to believe him when he says that I'm the only girl he wants, and that if it seemed like he was flirting with her then I have it totally wrong because he's tried so hard to be with me for the past 4 years. I believe that part because he does make the effort to call me like 5 times a day, and he needs to see me everyday. He even told me that he loved me tonight...which he has never said before. I don't want to believe all of this, but I know that some of this is true because he never talks about girls, tells me that he cherishes me every day, and tries to be with me any second that he can. Also I know that he's not the type of guy to throw an "I love you" around to just anyone because he has never said it to me and it's been 4 years. But this little incident still bothers and insults me even though he claims he didn't realize that's what it looked like. I shouldn't even listen to any of this stuff, but it's just so hard to disregard everything he said tonight and see the hurt on his face. How am I ever going to just dump him when I still care? I told him that maybe he could call me tommorow but I that I wasn't sure if I would answer. Should I take this to that level and just say goodbye for good? Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 The big question here is this: Do YOU beleive him; or better still.........Do you WANT to beleive him. Ultimatly; it is YOUR decision. No matter what we say here at Loveshack. You are in control. You have to live in your own skin. If you think that your time and effort and love is worthy of this young man then give it to him and do it whole heartedly. If you feel that you are only going to suffer another humiliating situation with his flirting then walk away. We all take risks in life. Some of us more than others. Is this the first time you have ever witnessed him acting this way? Do you feel that he "represents" at all times? Answer those questions to yourself honestly and you will find your own answer. bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 Sounds like if his actions match his words, he'll be good 2 go! Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 i think he's a manipulative little shyt. he didn't know acting like that would bother you?! please. he chose now to tell you he loves you? what strategy, and how convenient. he's full of it. even if you don't plan on staying broken up, you need to show him you absolutely will not put up with this. Link to post Share on other sites
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