Cessaro Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Ok long story short... Shall I tell my best friend of ten years that I totally love him, even though he lives with another girl (who is implies he is not happy with) ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cessaro Posted November 9, 2012 Author Share Posted November 9, 2012 Only unfulfilled love is truly romantic? Hello to anyone who stumbles upon my words. I would like to share something with nobody and everybody. I believe in true love and indeed have found it, I found it ten years ago when I was fourteen years old. I met my best friend, the person who knows me better than anyone, who can see any sadness in my eyes, make me laugh all day and catch me out if I lie. The connection we have is truly unique and I know very few people have or could understand the depths that our relationship goes to. We have grown up together, been there through everything, we know each others best and worse. But the problem, the only problem, is the line is so blurred between love and friendship that we don't know how to be around each other, we never have. We have never crossed a line and declared ourselves 'together'. We used to kiss each other when we were younger, secretly, as we had a tight knit friendship group and he is four years older so it was a bit controversial. But thats child's play. Over the past ten years since we met, we have both had relationships, and both always hated the others partner. I had a baby with somebody else, that relationship did not work and my best friend was there for me through it all, he helped me in the hard first year of becoming a mother. During this time we were never in a relationship, just spending all our time together. A few months later he was offered job some distance away, and had got involved in a casual relationship with someone he had met. At this moment in time if I had told him not go and to be with me, I know he would of stayed. However, I was nineteen, confused, with a baby, so brushed all my feelings off. He moved away and shortly after this other girl moved up to be with him. Five years have gone by. Never have we lost touch, we still talk nearly everyday. I tell him everything, and he tells me the same. He is still with the same girl, but with no agenda I say this, she is a lovely sweet girl but is not right for him. He even tells me this himself. He is not happy, but has become trapped in a routine and approaching thirty with a girl the same age who is wanting to get married. I on the other hand, have had a one relationship since he left, which was fine but was not right for me. I have loads of friends, I'm soon to be graduating from university and generally have a fulfilling life, I'm happy. But, to me, no man can ever compare to my best friend. I think about him all the time, I am not sad or anything like that. I just feel that when anything funny happens I wish he was there, when I am sad I wish he was there. He is the person I always want to see. So I ask you, what do I do with these feelings? Should I throw away all sense of reason and tell him that I can love no one else like I love him, and totally give in to this intense connection that has held us for ten years? or Is this love so intense and unbearable because it is unfulfilled, is the longing and pain of wanting but never quite having, the thing that makes it so special? Share * Link to post Share on other sites
Sporty Girl Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Wow! Obviously if you both have known each other for ten years, and no relationship have come out of it then it's not meant to be. You both are only meant to be friends, or you would have been the one to have his child, to be married to each other, to live together, to spend any moment you have together. Unfortunately this has not happen. You maybe thinking of him all the time because you miss his company, and you are used to having him around in the past. I think you are only meant to be friends because he was not your first everything. Look how many other people you both have dated, and you have somebody else's child. Would it be fair to him to have to play "Daddy" to somebody else's problem. It owuld not be. If you start something with him the friendship is ruined and wasted. It will never be the same. Link to post Share on other sites
MrVegas Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Well, if you are Drew Barrymore, or Julia Roberts, then by all means, do tell him, it will be a quirky ride of hijinks and misunderstanding, but in the end, it will all work out for you both. If you are not, maybe think it out a little bit. First off, you are risking damaging a relationship, and possibly destroying it. A good friend would provide counsel and support, and if he needs to end his relationship, thats a choice he needs to make on his own. If you help it along just to get him to yourself, you would be a pretty poor friend to have. People in or just out of unhappy relationships, usually are not in the best frame of mind to enter a relationship. At best, you ruin a relationship, but gain him romantically, which may last forever, or for a night. There are no guarantees. At worst, you ruin his relationship with her, and his relationship with you. You find heartache and pain and misery, and now no friend to help you through it. And what if it really isn't so bad as you think it is. Some guys have been known to *gasp* exaggerate how bad a fight was or how they are treated, especially to a member of the opposite sex. If it isn't that bad, but you convince him to leave, he may never forgive you if it doesn't work out. I am no saying it will definitely fail, but be aware of the whole picture, this isn't hollywood, you are not romeo and juliet, and happy endings aren't a for sure thing. Declaring it true love doesn't make it so, especially since you can't speak for his feelings. I wish you the best, and hope you do get true love, with whoever it is (unless you are actually Drew Barrymore, in which case we should totally hook up ) Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 there's a lot to be lost and a lot to be gained. If i were you i would tell him. Not sure why you haven't yet but if you look anywhere on these forums its common for people to have secret candles burning for people. No matter what you do its obvious this isn't just a friendship. So. Ask yourself what is more appealing? True love and possible rejection. Or. A faux friendship and secret love. Link to post Share on other sites
CptObvious Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Post pics of him, yourself, and the girl he's poking atm. We will then predict your success rate. Link to post Share on other sites
jimloveslips Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Do you know the girl? Does she own a set of throwing knifes? Ten years? Wow, you never had a boyfriend that whole time? Oh wait, you got dumped recently? Now you want to screw him and screw up his life... Best friend? Really? Link to post Share on other sites
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