Jealousy/obsessive issues and a friend with benefits- my story!

[allez102]

I'm going to attempt to make a a very long story fairly short.. when I was young, at around 13/14, I briefly dated this guy. It didn't last that long but we had amazing fun together and I never truly got over him. To make things worse no-one since (i'm now 21) has ever seemed to show interest in me.

 

At the moment, we're both in the same group of friends. It's making life very difficult for me. For the last 2 years we've kind have had a friends with benefits thing going on. I've never let on that i fancy him (I do!) and neither has he, but when we entered FWB he had not long come out of a long-term relationship with one of my best friends.. soo that along with the fact that he didn't want anything serious led to FWB.

 

I can safely say that I am absolutely head over heels with him! I'm ridiculously, ridiculously obsessed. I check his myspace/facebook a hell of a lot during the day and whenever my phone goes I immediately hope it's him. I'm just always, always thinking about him. So here's where the jealousy issues come in- last year one of my girl mates moved next door to him. They've practically lived in each others pockets ever since and are best friends. One day I found out from a friend who had read his phone, that they had been sleeping together. (Same time he'd been sleeping with me!) I confronted him about it but he denied it- i know he's lying. Whenever I ring either of them for a chat, I always hear the other in the background and it makes me feel heartbroken. I think she's even mroe obsesed with him than me! Moreover, recently i found out he's been having sex with 2 other girls. Whenever i'm with him one of these girls is always texting him and he quickly hides his phone. When we're together on our own he makes me feel like i'm the only person he wants but now I know that that's just a lie I seem to be just another one of his bits on the sides that he uses.

 

I am utterly utterly desperate for him to just fall in love with me and not want anyone else I don't quite know what i'm asking you all here... but how does one overcome such jealousy, obsession and fixation on just one person that they're not even in a relationship with? Do you think the fact that no-one else has showed an interest in me could be a big factor in all of this? I can't help feeling as though maybe i'm obsessed with the situation (i.e. someone showing an interest in me) and not the actual person. No contact wouldn't work because we see each other a lot when we go out with our group of friends.. also I don't want him to think I like him because i'm pretty sure he doesn't like me. Someone help me be able to concentrate on something other than him for more than 5 minutes? Thankyou all!