I am FUMING mad. Is it justified?

[Ophelia Rue]

Oh, guys. I am baffled by men. Do they all cheat or am I just lucky enough to keep dating guys that lie and cheat?!

 

OK, here's the story. Please read and let me know what you think. I definitely appreciate any feedback.

 

I've been dating Ryan for over a year. I have never once had a problem with thinking he was being unfaithful to me.

 

On New Years Eve, he left his phone in my purse. We had been taking pictures with his phone that night. The last picture we took was a picture of me and my friend Jodie. After that, the phone stayed in my purse. I gave him his phone back the next day, of course.

 

This week, he has been snapping at me and I don't know why. He's just been a complete jerk. I've never, ever had this problem with him and I don't know if this has anything to do with it.

 

Today he took a picture with his phone of me. I looked at the picture and there was ANOTHER picture AFTER the one on New Years of Jodie and I. It was Ryan with two girls.

 

I was like, "Umm...what is this..."

 

He said "I don't know, it looks like the same lighting as the place we went on New years."

 

I said, "No, because I had your phone the whole night and the last picture we took was the one of Jodie and I."

 

He just shrugged and then secretly deleted the picture.

 

He was on his email and I saw peeked and saw he had a Facebook friend request from a "MELINDA S____". I took note. He also had a couple of other friend requests.

 

I came online 5 minutes ago to look at his Facebook. He had accepted the other friend requests. He had obviously blatantly ignored the friend request from MELINDA S___.

 

I looked up MELINDA S___ on Search. Yep, mutual friends. Ryan was not one. And yep...

 

it was one of the tarts in the picture.

 

How suspicious does this sound to you?

 

What should I do about it? I've already asked him about it and he said he didn't know what it was and then deleted it. I don't really know what to do or think here. Am I being crazy? Or have I stumbled on something bad??

 

Please help!

Thank you!

[You'reasian]

I looked up MELINDA S___ on Search. Yep, mutual friends. Ryan was not one. And yep...

 

it was one of the tarts in the picture.

 

How suspicious does this sound to you?

 

What should I do about it? I've already asked him about it and he said he didn't know what it was and then deleted it. I don't really know what to do or think here. Am I being crazy? Or have I stumbled on something bad??

 

Please help!

Thank you!

 

Picture with 2 girls? It could be friends hanging out. I can understand if he was kissing one of them or worse, but he wasnt. As far as the friend request is concerned, he's just adding friends. If he's adding an inordinate amount of hot females...again, that's a yellow flag. Otherwise, its just a friend.

 

Lastly, if you want to make this guy happy - feed him, do it to him and make sure that he doesn't have any energy left when he hits the sack...and he'll love you lol

 

Best of luck

[forelise]

Well... it's something to be just a bit suspicious about... but you don't know for sure if it /means/ anything.

However, before you can make your judgement, there are some questions left that he has not answered, and that is the only way to figure things out.

He certainly has some things to answer to, and considering he has just shrugged them all of, yes, you have more reason to be suspicious.

But a picture and an email cannot confirm that he is having another "relationship" with this girl nor even cheating on you whatsoever.

Until these questions are answered, or some more obvious evidence is uncovered, you just can't know for sure. But if he doesn't man up and answer them, don't waste your time with him.

Sorry this happened to you, I know it hurts to find things like this.

Best of luck!

[Ophelia Rue]

Thanks You'reasian.

 

The thing is, he DIDN'T add her as a friend, but he added EVERYONE else, meaning he was ignoring her friend request. Why would he ignore her friend request, especially since they were SO FRIENDLY in that picture? Was he afraid she would have access to his Facebook information (Wall, relationship status, etc.)?

 

Thanks forelise.

 

I know that it doesn't mean anything, with just a picture and an email, I would have felt so much better if he had said, "It was some girls my brother knew" or something. But he couldn't come up with an answer. And that's what makes it far worse.

Edited January 11, 2010 by Ophelia Rue

[LucreziaBorgia]

He's most definitely hiding something. What that something is, isn't entirely clear but his behavior is not above board. Whatever it was wasn't entirely innocent either. People don't lie, deceive, or hide things when there is no need to.

 

Keep your eyes open, though now that he knows you are on to him he will likely just go deeper underground. I'd drop the subject, pretend that you put it behind you and just simply keep your eyes open. Do not bring it up again unless you have absolute proof. A person who cheats, even when there is one percent doubt - can convince someone who loves them that 'nothing happened'. Never reveal what you are doing until there is 100% doubt.

[OnlyJake]

The thing I would be most concerned about is the fact that you two are supposed to be moving in together and you two apparently can't communicate with each other.

[New_Life08]

The problem is the secrecy. If it is innocent why not just explain what it was? That is the problem. Innocent people do not react with guilt unless there was some sort of deceit involved....period.

[Ophelia Rue]

The thing I would be most concerned about is the fact that you two are supposed to be moving in together and you two apparently can't communicate with each other.

 

Hmmmmmm. Well said. Agreed.

[Space Ritual]

Sorry this is happening to you...

 

Sounds like another chapter in Facebook and other social sites being relationship Killers.

 

If there is anything wrong in a relationship if you both inhabit the same social site it is bound to come out through the platform.

 

In this case it worked a different way. It was more suspicious iof him to NOT add someone as opposed to adding someone. But in any case something is up for sure.

 

So now you have a snapshot of some deceitful behavior on his part. Right now if I were you I'd keep watching that FB page. People tend to act very dumbly at those places to the point where the cant control themselves, so it will eventually come out because they consider it a real extension of their lives. You will get more answers soon enough. It's pretty much inevitable.

[phineas]

So, he didn't know anything about the picture of him & two women & these women he knew nothing about found him on facebook & sent him friend requests.

 

The one he didn't accept is the one you gotta watch out for.

He's puposefully slow playing her so as not to seem to eager.

 

She'll notice he didn't accept her request right away & wonder why.

[Bulbie]

I'm also willing to put good money on the fact that he saw her friend request and didn;t add her on purpose because that would mean you would get to see a large part of the correspondance between him and her. and he doesn't want that for some reason. I agree with the others, the one he DIDN'T add is the one you should watch out for.

[dazzle22]

Have you heard the adage "the guilty flee when no man pursues?" That is what is going on here. What guy poses with two hot girls and duh - "doesn't remember'??? An honest person would say, "oh, her, yeah, that is so and so, I know her from ......" Right???

 

On the other hand perhaps it was his "doppleganger" from another dimension who posed with them, that is why he doesn't remember.

 

 

And the "not" friending this one girl. That is like what Sherlock Holmes said about an inside job of horse rustling .... [FONT=avant garde,helvetica,arial,times][sIZE=-1]Inspector Gregory:

"Is there any other point to which you would wish to draw my attention?"

Holmes: "To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time."

"The dog did nothing in the night-time." "That was the curious incident," remarked Sherlock Holmes. From "The Adventure of Silver Blaze" by Arthur Conan Doyle

[/sIZE][/FONT]

Often, what is most telling about people is what they DON'T do.....

[Clep]

Sounds like another chapter in Facebook and other social sites being relationship Killers.

 

 

I do not believe that Facebook and other social sites are relationship killers. The people in relationships that are devious are the real relationship killers....the social sites just reveal that deception.