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I met a cheater from Rochester NY through internet

Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 9th September 2009, 6:38 AM   #1
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Angry I met a cheater from Rochester NY through internet

Hello everybody,

I come here with my true story and I hope this world will be better, reduce bad cheating husband. I hope who is cheating his wife will stop cheating and recognize the true love is only one, your wife and children.
Do not look people from outside. May be he has 2 faces.

I am a woman from Vietnam. In my country people look down woman, who fall in love with married man. And me also try to far away from married man when I met them at my work, but finally I met a international cheater from US.

I met a French man who lives in Rochester NY, in a dating website. In his profile is separated man. One day he wrote email to me said he was interested in my profile and I gave him good feeling I am nice woman. I wrote back email to him. He told me that he separated with his wife 5 years and had an unhappy marriage and already sent divorce dox to the court just waited divorce finalizing. From US he sent me a lot of love cards, gifts. He called me chat with me everyday and always told me that he missed me and love me so much. He tried to understand Vietnamese culture and tradition and seemed to be my soulmate. His sweet words moved my heart and I falled in love with him and he decided to go Vietnam to see me. He saw me twice in my country and we was very happy together. He said to me he never met so beautifull, nice and well educated woman like me. He is 56 years old and older than me 21 years. He seems very nice man I never thought that he cheated on me. I love him so much with all my heart. He just bought the ticket and planned to see me third times in my country. Before he came here I asked him about his married status and show me divorce paper as he promissed he still lied on me will divorce but will delay for a while to clear up his mind, and could not show me divorce paper. He sweared with me he loves me so much and will marry me. I feel be cheated and then I searched in internet I found his wife in Facebook. I decided to asked his wife if he separated 5 years and divorce sent to the court as he said. His wife was very shock and upset about her husband. She told me to send her all the proof of her husband affair. I think his wife should know what kind of husband she live with, when her husband cheated on her so I decided to tell her all the truth and sent her all the proof I have. I also told her before me her husband already loved a Chinese girl when he worked in China. When he left China that girl cried a lot. I knew this story because my boyfriend told me this story himseft. After talking with his wife I knew that they never been separated and he cheated on me. I feel so sorry his wife because I did not know my boyfriend cheated on me about his marriage status at the beginning. I feel hurt and broken heart, because I give my heart for a wrong man. He lied and cheated both his wife and me. I can understand his wife must in pain and hurt so much about his cheating action. Poor her she did not know anything till I told her the truths. That man called me blamed me why told the truth to his wife and why I sent to her the proof and why I destroyed his family? I said to him : You cheated on me you did not appologize me why you blamed me? Why you cheated on your wife? He said I am Vietnamese and do not understand Western thinking. He said to me my action (tell the wife truth) is terrible action in Western countries. I said to him, "I will not lower myseft to love a married man and steal happiness of other woman, I just do the things I should do and give a peace to my soul. Your cheating action is terrible in my country and affect our tradition. I feel sorry your wife so I sent her the proof. Your wife forgive or not forgive you is you and her problem. Please do not contact with me again and do not go to my country. I do not have cheating boyfriend I will not accept any cheating man."

I am so sad but I know I should leave him, I do not want to break his family, but poor his wife, she should know who is him. He loves NOBODY, he is seftfish and loves only himseft. He does not care about his wife heart broken and hurt. If he loves his wife as he said with her, he will not cheat on her like that.

His family has been bestrayed by him in 23 years. I did believe this man already cheated on his wife many many times. Because he often told me that: His ex girl friends never care about his marriage status, only care about his money. So before me he must cheated a lot women. I just could not understand why he has a nice wife, 3 lovely children and does not respect his family, chose the way to cheat a little woman from other side of the world.?

Did I destroyed his family? Why an old man can cheated on me like this? I feel very sad and can not understand why that man blamed on me. My action (tell his wife the truth) is terrible in Western countries? Can I believe there is still honest man in this world? I never met great liar and cheater like him in my life. All the men in internet are cheater? He was a such bad man I have met in my life. He lied and cheated on me from beggining till I told his wife he stoped contact with me. God saves me from evil man and helps me recognized he is a cheater only in 10 months. Only poor his wife lived with him 23 years and did not know he is great liar and cheater. I dump him when I know he is a cheater. The cheating man is not worth for me to love him.

I have a peace of mind by telling his wife the truth and I hope he will recognize his fault and will come back to be a good husband and father. People can be changed I believe that and I hope this world will be better and reduced cheaters.
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Old 9th September 2009, 9:17 AM   #2
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I'm sorry this has happened to you. However, its good that you know the truth now. You should move on. He wronged you and his wife. He blamed you, because for him its easier to place the blame on someone else than for him to own up and take blame for himself. He is a coward.

You're right, he is very selfish. Cheating is selfish anyway, period. Probably the best thing for you to do, is cut all ties with this man. No calls, no emails, texts, visits etc. He is up to no good and I think you see this now. Try to move on the best you can. Whatever his consequences will be for his actions, he will make it so, because he will bring it all on himself. Good luck.
"Adult love is built on mutual interest, care and respect - not on one-way emotional rescues. And mothering is for kids. Not grown people."
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Old 11th September 2009, 3:33 AM   #3
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Why he balmed me?

Thanks for your reply. I know he used my kindness to take atvantages from me, that is reason why I told his wife and stoped with him. I have my seft-respect and seft-esteem. I just do not understand why he has everything in US, he is a CEO, chairman of a company in NY(he has 2 master certificates), nice wife and 3 children and older than me 20 years old, he is enough to be adult to know what is right and wrong, why chose the way to cheat a little woman from Vietnam? and when it happen why he blamed all in me? He said my action (tell the wife the truth) is terrible action in Western countries and I did not care about him and I acted very Vietnamese, that makes me angry. I think cheating and lying is not acceptable in any country in the world. May be his wife can accept and forgive his horrible behavior but I can not accept that action. That man does not know tell the truth only know how to lie and cheat.

In my country telling the wife truth is right action to do and I was right to stop with him. He often say loves me so much but he does not understand what is love. True love there is NO Place for cheating and lying. He stole my heart,time and brain. I think of him in very bad way and bad US culture. He broken my trust in men. I do believe the kamar. Who do the bad things will have to take concequences from his actions.
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Old 12th September 2009, 9:25 AM   #4
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Good job on telling his wife! Men think it's so easy to work in another country and take advantage of local women. I'm glad you did the right thing, BV.
Where U used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the day time, and falling in at night. I miss U like hell, Lyss.
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Old 19th September 2009, 10:10 AM   #5
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He still lie but I do not care. Why that man does not stop lying?

His wife called me and told me that he made a mistake of falling in love with me. And she asked me if he felt guilty before he got caught? I did not answer, I said she should ask her husband not me. He only feel sorry after he got caught. I asked him to stop with me when I knew he married he did not want to stop and so I have no choice to tell his wife. But he said to his wife I told his her b/c I am jealous. Sorry I could not understand US people thinking. She should ask her husband not me right?. I am from VN, he is in US how can I know he feel guilty for her or not? He never told me he feel sorry for his wife. Why his wife asked me for what? Can somebody explain to me?
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