Girlfriend kissed another guy

[sadsam]

I'm 23 and my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 3 years and we currently live together. I love her very much and in the beginning it was hard to give my trust to her completely because my last two girlfriends ended up cheating on me. She knows this and over these three years she has proven trustworthy.

 

However, she just called me, in tears, because last night she was drunk and she said some guy kissed her and she kissed him back. I told her we would work through it and I still love her, but it really hurts. I've worked very hard to not be jealous or intrusive despite having been taken advantage of in the past. I'm not sure what to do, I have this awful feeling in my gut just thinking about the whole situation. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.

[1DeadB]

Good for her. You guys are too young to get tied down. Now it's your turn to go out and get some. Then you can compare note. Let the games begin!

[EC]

Have you guys been having any problems lately?

 

Does she know this guy personally? Or was it some random guy?

[sadsam]

No problems, everything has been great. As far as I know it was just some randomer.

 

1DeadBitch, when you say "Good for her" are you suggesting that this was done on purpose to end the relationship? Because I hadn't considered that, I assumed it was an alcohol induced mistake. I wouldnt want to keep her in a relationship she doesnt want to be in.

[1DeadB]

No problems, everything has been great. As far as I know it was just some randomer.

 

1DeadBitch, when you say "Good for her" are you suggesting that this was done on purpose to end the relationship? Because I hadn't considered that, I assumed it was an alcohol induced mistake. I wouldnt want to keep her in a relationship she doesnt want to be in.

 

I think that drink is more an excuse than a mistake. I'm not saying she wants to end things, maybe she is just curious about other poeple. That is what breaking up and getting back together is all about.

[EC]

Young girls are the horny equivalent of 40 year old guys.

 

Honestly now if you're last 2 girlfriends cheated on you, YOU'RE the problem.

 

You had better learn how to LAY THE WOOD, don't "make love" like a metrosexual, no matter what you see in sitcoms women wan't get hit by a truck, not smothered in tenderness. Act like a MAN or someone else will.

 

Take her from behind doggie style and pull her hair, she'll have a WHOLE different view of you from then on, learn how to go down on her, use her like a plastic F--- doll, don't worry she WILL like it. Do her hard, do her slow, invent positions, put your pinky in that place you've never gotten near. Bang her like you're Atilla the Hun and she's your slave.

 

If you can't do these things you will have to hand your balls back into the club and resign you manhood until you can.

 

 

omg...its true

[1DeadB]

I love this board...oh, that's a different thread.

[Ireallyhatecheating]

omg...its true

 

 

There's nothing I hate more than feminized "men"

 

Men whining about their relationships, wanting to get back with the women who cheated on them, etc.

 

If I only could meet these "men" and their girlfriends I would have a lifetime supply of love slaves.

[EC]

There's nothing I hate more than feminized "men"

 

Men whining about their relationships, wanting to get back with the women who cheated on them, etc.

 

If I only could meet these "men" and their girlfriends I would have a lifetime supply of love slaves.

 

love slaves! your too much! but its true the only time I had cheated was because I just wasnt getting rammed.

[Mythical]

holly talk about all the neagtive posts!

 

Even though I have no advice...lol

 

Who knows.....for some reason my brain stopped working after reading this?...or maybe just because I want to go home, and its the first post i read today?....i don't know anymore

 

but she cheated....alcohol is always an excuse....but I don't mistake?

[laRubiaBonita]

at least she told you SadSam....

 

but is this ONLY the first time it has happened?

[TheSwordfish]

I think you were to soft on her. Show her you don't like it, don't cry like michael jackson, but at least tell her you don't tolerate this behaviour. Make that clear, be a man in that! Don't let her walk over you even though she's crying! Make her sweat!

 

(Ask her: How are you going to make up for this? )

[Spectre]

You let her off too light. Even if you were going to forgive her, you should of given it some time to stew. Immediately saying "oh we'll work through it" is basically telling her future slutty behavior will not cause you to leave her.

 

 

People also give others too much credit for simply admitting to cheating. First of all, you don't get points for honesty. We might as well start thanking people for saying thank you. Plus, remember, some people are horrible at keeping secrets. For some, it is quite obvious when they are hiding something, especially to someone who knows/lives with them. So when a cheater comes clean, I think praise is unnecessary.

 

 

The bottom line is this: If you have feelings for this girl and just want to have fun and stuff with her, stay with her. If you are truly in love with her and want a future with her like marriage, kids, the works...well there is a problem.

 

The reason I say this is because she isnt in love with you. She might have love for you, and definitely cares, but she isnt head over heels in love. If she was, this simply would not of happened. As someone said, maybe deep down she wants to explore new people. Again: those are not the thought patterns of someone who is in love and wants to be with just one guy.

 

 

The way I see it, it sounds like you love her, so I would cut your losses and break up with her. She has betrayed you with, apparently, some random guy she met at a bar. This means you cannot remove the problem as it isnt anyone in particular. Whenever she goes out with her friends the thoughts will be in your head, and its not like you can forbid her from doing that cuz it will just cause more issues. She has put you in an awkward situation, on the surface some might say its just a kiss and not worthy of ending a 3 year relationship. Under the surface, however, are the facts that she could do something like this after 3 years to someone she supposedly loves, all with some random guy.

 

I know you might think breaking up is too drastic, but ask yourself: are you truly ever gonna forget? are you ever gonna be ok with her going out with her friends? are you ever gonna be able to get that image out of your mind? and most importantly, what does this mean as far as how much she respects you? I speak from experience, I loved this girl so much when she cheated on me I forgave her, it ended up being a mistake because you never get over something like that, and sooner or later it will cause you to break up anyways. Save yourself the heartache.

[georgejungle]

I'm curious about the fact that you've been cheated

on twice in the past and now your current girlfriend

kisses another guy?

 

What is it that is attracting this kind of treatment to you.

 

Like, why do certain people get into failed relationship after

failed relationship?

 

I'm not being mean or trying to be insulting, I'm just trying

to find the connection.

 

P.S. I wouldn't let this slide. Maybe that's your problem, maybe

you're to unaware of what your partner needs...Why are you

getting cheated on time after time???

[a4a]

Originally Posted by Ireallyhatecheating

Young girls are the horny equivalent of 40 year old guys.

 

Honestly now if you're last 2 girlfriends cheated on you, YOU'RE the problem.

 

You had better learn how to LAY THE WOOD, don't "make love" like a metrosexual, no matter what you see in sitcoms women wan't get hit by a truck, not smothered in tenderness. Act like a MAN or someone else will.

 

Take her from behind doggie style and pull her hair, she'll have a WHOLE different view of you from then on, learn how to go down on her, use her like a plastic F--- doll, don't worry she WILL like it. Do her hard, do her slow, invent positions, put your pinky in that place you've never gotten near. Bang her like you're Atilla the Hun and she's your slave.

 

If you can't do these things you will have to hand your balls back into the club and resign you manhood until you can.

 

 

Yeah and Donkey Punch her.....

 

Dude grow some kahunas. drinking is an excuse.

[Sevenmack]

Let's summarize my thoughts this way:

 

1) When she said she kissed another dude, she really meant to say: "I kissed him, gave him a blowjob, swallowed the remains and let him eat me out and finger-bang her. Essentially everything but the full dirty-dirty." People are never honest about the full details of their infidelity unless confronted.

 

2) She was drunk meant: "I've been planning to cheat on you anyway with (insert any name here). But since I was at the club with dude with whom I wanted to sleep around (or stranger that resembles someone I'd actually like to screw -- and I don't mean you), he was the beneficiary of my desires. Besides alcohol makes it easier for me to do what I've wanted to do -- or have been doing -- for some time. And besides, you think I'm such a sweetie that I wouldn't do something like this unless I was under some sort of influence.

 

3) She cried because she wanted to throw herself on your mercy and knew you wouldn't tear her a new one if she pouted and poured the crocodiles. She's not really sorry, just smart enough to play you. And likely, she got caught by one of your pals, so she knew she better get to you before he did. If she was really sorry, she would have said nothing or admitted the crime and took full responsibility.

 

4) Dump her. She's played you hardcore here and she needs to go. If she took full responsibility and didn't blame the alcohol, I would offer a different alternative. But she's played you. So dump her.

 

5) Examine yourself: If you've been in two relationships that have involved the other person committing some sort of infidelity, then you must figure out why you choose such people. Take some time and examine your own choices, then correct them.

[1DeadB]

Let's summarize my thoughts this way:

 

1) When she said she kissed another dude, she really meant to say: "I kissed him, gave him a blowjob, swallowed the remains and let him eat me out and finger-bang her. Essentially everything but the full dirty-dirty." People are never honest about the full details of their infidelity unless confronted.

 

2) She was drunk meant: "I've been planning to cheat on you anyway with (insert any name here). But since I was at the club with dude with whom I wanted to sleep around (or stranger that resembles someone I'd actually like to screw -- and I don't mean you), he was the beneficiary of my desires. Besides alcohol makes it easier for me to do what I've wanted to do -- or have been doing -- for some time. And besides, you think I'm such a sweetie that I wouldn't do something like this unless I was under some sort of influence.

 

3) She cried because she wanted to throw herself on your mercy and knew you wouldn't tear her a new one if she pouted and poured the crocodiles. She's not really sorry, just smart enough to play you. And likely, she got caught by one of your pals, so she knew she better get to you before he did. If she was really sorry, she would have said nothing or admitted the crime and took full responsibility.

 

4) Dump her. She's played you hardcore here and she needs to go. If she took full responsibility and didn't blame the alcohol, I would offer a different alternative. But she's played you. So dump her.

 

5) Examine yourself: If you've been in two relationships that have involved the other person committing some sort of infidelity, then you must figure out why you choose such people. Take some time and examine your own choices, then correct them.

 

 

Finally, someone with some sense. What the hell are you doing here, preying on the emotionally week?

[LittleWoman12]

Let's summarize my thoughts this way:

 

1) When she said she kissed another dude, she really meant to say: "I kissed him, gave him a blowjob, swallowed the remains and let him eat me out and finger-bang her. Essentially everything but the full dirty-dirty." People are never honest about the full details of their infidelity unless confronted.

 

2) She was drunk meant: "I've been planning to cheat on you anyway with (insert any name here). But since I was at the club with dude with whom I wanted to sleep around (or stranger that resembles someone I'd actually like to screw -- and I don't mean you), he was the beneficiary of my desires. Besides alcohol makes it easier for me to do what I've wanted to do -- or have been doing -- for some time. And besides, you think I'm such a sweetie that I wouldn't do something like this unless I was under some sort of influence.

 

3) She cried because she wanted to throw herself on your mercy and knew you wouldn't tear her a new one if she pouted and poured the crocodiles. She's not really sorry, just smart enough to play you. And likely, she got caught by one of your pals, so she knew she better get to you before he did. If she was really sorry, she would have said nothing or admitted the crime and took full responsibility.

 

4) Dump her. She's played you hardcore here and she needs to go. If she took full responsibility and didn't blame the alcohol, I would offer a different alternative. But she's played you. So dump her.

 

5) Examine yourself: If you've been in two relationships that have involved the other person committing some sort of infidelity, then you must figure out why you choose such people. Take some time and examine your own choices, then correct them.

 

Finally, someone with some sense. What the hell are you doing here, preying on the emotionally week?

Ditto! Sevenmack, where have you been hiding?

[Sevenmack]

I don't know if I always make sense; just human after all with enough failings to fill Loveshack's boards ad infinitum. But I have enough wisdom to realize when others are making some of the same mistakes I've made.

[1DeadB]

I don't know if I always make sense; just human after all with enough failings to fill Loveshack's boards ad infinitum. But I have enough wisdom to realize when others are making some of the same mistakes I've made.

 

So now your being nice?

[Sevenmack]

I'm nice when needed. And tough when needed. Sometimes people need a velvet kiss. And other times, a paddling.

[LittleWoman12]

I'm nice when needed. And tough when needed. Sometimes people need a velvet kiss. And other times, a paddling.

Are you into BDSM? Been there, done that!

[Sevenmack]

We're all emotionally weak sometimes. The difference is that some of us realize it and get to working on it. Others just mire themselves in their emotional wreckage and do nothing. I'm not the latter.

[Sevenmack]

Nah. I prefer good old fashioned rough sex.