Gloria Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 My boyfriend and i met six years ago, but then i was young, he is working in Europe.He was working there before i met him, so our relationship grew, we see each other once a year otherwise we just call each other everyday... I was ok until i found out that the mother of his child is aslo working in Europe and that they are staying together, i asked him he toldd me yes but they are no longer together, I believed him because of the love i have for him. Last year we were hanging out with his friends, during his holidays.One of his friends asked him that when are they going to his new house for a braai, i stared to raise my eye lashes, but then it was too late for him to tell his friend to shut up. I did not ask him, when we left. he told me that he boght the house three years ago. I was to hurt to ask him why he did not tell me. I spent a few nights @ his house, then i came across some woman's clothes,when i asked him he said they belonged to his sister's, but only o find out that they belong to the mother of his child. I had to tell him that it's over between us if he did not tell me the truth... So he told me that they both bought the house together with that woman, but they are no longer together and they will sell the house. He told me that he wants to be with me and want to marry me. This year when he came for his holidays, i found this woman's ID in his car and i never asked him and she was calling him everyday coz she was in Europe, When i asked him, He said the reason why she calls it's because of a child nothing else. But whenever she called and if we are together he would tell her that he will call later he's still busy or driving. I said why does he not tellher that he is with me, coz there is nothing between them, He said he did not know that it was a big issue This man claims to love me, but he stored me in his cellphone as A. Tokyo, when i asked him he said he did not see a problem with that.... 2 weeks ago he proposed to me i aked him if he was sure that's what he wants! he said yes, then he daid he is coming back in october to sort out lobola, then we will be engaged. It was ok! up until he told me that he will be coming in december to give an engagement, then the rest we will see later next year.... So i dont think he wants to get married to me coz he loves me but because he needs something. Im saying this because he knows that im about to start my own business soon, and guess what? he said he will help me if i need finace for my business... Why is that ? Last but not least... Im not allowed to go out with my friends, and he has also started choosing friends for me. He calls me everyday, minute and our to check up on me Even @ work. He says he is doing all that because he loves me.... he has neve bought me a singlt present in thid six years, he says i't becuse of distance, even when he is around he does nor even take me out... Please people i need your help, have to make a choice once and for all.... Yet there is some1 who loves likes dearly and is waiting for me to a get over this guy, so that we can be together... Please help...!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 My boyfriend and i met six years ago, but then i was young, he is working in Europe.He was working there before i met him, so our relationship grew, we see each other once a year otherwise we just call each other everyday... I was ok until i found out that the mother of his child is aslo working in Europe and that they are staying together, i asked him he toldd me yes but they are no longer together, I believed him because of the love i have for him. Last year we were hanging out with his friends, during his holidays.One of his friends asked him that when are they going to his new house for a braai, i stared to raise my eye lashes, but then it was too late for him to tell his friend to shut up. I did not ask him, when we left. he told me that he boght the house three years ago. I was to hurt to ask him why he did not tell me. I spent a few nights @ his house, then i came across some woman's clothes,when i asked him he said they belonged to his sister's, but only o find out that they belong to the mother of his child. I had to tell him that it's over between us if he did not tell me the truth... So he told me that they both bought the house together with that woman, but they are no longer together and they will sell the house. He told me that he wants to be with me and want to marry me. This year when he came for his holidays, i found this woman's ID in his car and i never asked him and she was calling him everyday coz she was in Europe, When i asked him, He said the reason why she calls it's because of a child nothing else. But whenever she called and if we are together he would tell her that he will call later he's still busy or driving. I said why does he not tellher that he is with me, coz there is nothing between them, He said he did not know that it was a big issue This man claims to love me, but he stored me in his cellphone as A. Tokyo, when i asked him he said he did not see a problem with that.... 2 weeks ago he proposed to me i aked him if he was sure that's what he wants! he said yes, then he daid he is coming back in october to sort out lobola, then we will be engaged. It was ok! up until he told me that he will be coming in december to give an engagement, then the rest we will see later next year.... So i dont think he wants to get married to me coz he loves me but because he needs something. Im saying this because he knows that im about to start my own business soon, and guess what? he said he will help me if i need finace for my business... Why is that ? Last but not least... Im not allowed to go out with my friends, and he has also started choosing friends for me. He calls me everyday, minute and our to check up on me Even @ work. He says he is doing all that because he loves me.... he has neve bought me a singlt present in thid six years, he says i't becuse of distance, even when he is around he does nor even take me out... Please people i need your help, have to make a choice once and for all.... Yet there is some1 who loves likes dearly and is waiting for me to a get over this guy, so that we can be together... Please help...!!! What a serious LOSER ! I would put up with this crap for about 3 seconds and kick his butt to the door ! grrrrrr Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Dump him. Seriously. He's playing with you. If you marry him, you'll HATE your life. Do you want to be controlled every moment of your life. Told what you can and can't do. He already picks your friends and monitors you every moment of the day. He wants your money at the very least. He's lied to you in the past. You have no proof him and this other women are over. For God's sake he still lives with her! He hides you from her. Puts your number under a non-gender name. Won't even tell her he's with you while he's with you. He LIVES with another woman. He has no intention of moving out. He's going to stay where he's at and play you and this other woman for as long as he can. I could go on... Honestly. End this. There are so many red flags here that it's crazy. You have nothing to base a marriage on. He's been lying left and right. I doubt you've even gotten a small portion of the truth from him. He gives you just enough truth, to make the lie seem like the truth. Please don't marry this guy. You will regret it. For the rest of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 You wasted 6 precious years of your life on this crazy loser who has been feeding you lies, lies and lies for all this time. Break up with him instantly and go no contact - do not waste one more minute on him!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 You wasted 6 precious years of your life on this crazy loser who has been feeding you lies, lies and lies for all this time. Break up with him instantly and go no contact - do not waste one more minute on him!!! Big Red Flag ! When you are in the car and she calls and he does NOT mention you are sitting in the seat next to him . WHY ? Because he does NOT want her to know you are in the car. Along with all the other red flags you need to DUMP this loser and make sure he has not tapped into your money or any other reason such as citzenship ( ? ) or whatever he is trying to pull.... Link to post Share on other sites
someone_here Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 i am in the same situation as you now. I met this guy, he always try to be with me everyday n he said he is a divorcee with a kid with his ex wife. I dont know if it is true or not and when i came to his house i found woman's stuff. and i think i have no thing to prove that they are really over. and even though it is not easy for me, because i like him, but i will leave him soon. He is in europe now, and i will break up with him when he is back. I want to end it peacefully. I know it is gonna be hard but i think this is the best way for me. AND i think this is also the best solution for you now. Just leave him before everything is too late. You are not alone... keep in touch gal, Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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