luvtoto Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Decided to accept a date with my coworker. We've gone out on two lunch dates. He, also, makes a B-line to my office first thing in the morning with a big smile on his face to talk to me. He is also very helpful and intrigued with my daily life. My problem is that it's been at least a month since he first asked me out. When is he going to ask me out on a real date? or even just ask for my home phone number. I've never dated a coworker before so is this normal behavior? He has this "mystery" quality about him, and I can't wait to get to know him better and spend some time with him. Should I just go with the flow and wait for him to make his move? I don't want to scare him off. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Dating co-workers is probably not the best idea. But you already know that anyway. With that said, life rewards action. So if you're up to the challenge of dating a co-worker, go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
PlentyLV007 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I can honestly relate to what your saying...and waiting for a response from him kinda sucks! The whole "waiting". Why not just throw it out there that there's a particular movie you want to see or ask him if he's seen it and see how he reacts to it. Maybe he'll say.."let's go watch it" depending on his reaction. Maybe he's feeling the same way you are. What if he's waiting for you to kinda throw it out there.... Try it! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hm, I'm wondering if he is really interested in you or not keeping you on the backburner as a reserve. I've never seen a guy being interested in me and taking such a long time for a second date. To answer your question, in general I think it would be ok to ask someone out, but that's me and at the moment I'm also somewhat doubting my instinct regarding men. A lot of other women will tell you to wait for the guy. By the way, I love your avatar, this little girl is sooo sweet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author luvtoto Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 Have you ever watched the movie "40 yr old virgin"? Well, he's alot like that guy in that movie. I wouldn't be surprised if he is still a virgin. He's worked here for 20 years and no one can recall him *ever* having a date and he has his days just planned out to a tee (it's kinda cute). I am extremely flattered that he asked me. He's talked with my other coworkers about me and they are all rootin' for us. At first, I thought he wasn't my type, but, the more I am getting to know him...the more I am falling for this guy!! Seriously! He's funny, smart, attractive, and I can't believe I didn't give him a second look before. Anyway, so...he might just be shy/nervous. He doesn't have much dating experience maybe I should be a bit more forward. But, I am not like that at all. I am not the most confident person in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Ok, then I think giving him some hints would be a nice idea or if you feel like it, ask him out directly. Just don't encourage him to become passive. Ask him out once and next time it should be him who is taking the lead. If he is so shy it's better if you become somewhat active or you both will not get anywhere. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Candied-Heart Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I was/am dating a co-worker He made all the moves because I was oblivious for a veeery long time because he was THAT shy and wary about it. I didn't have the issue you're having now, though. BUT - If my now-BF had have waited a while between dates I would have definitely came to him for the second or third etc. You have nothing to lose, he has asked you out once before so he obviously likes you if even for the way he acts in the mornign with you, unless of course.. you did something he didn't like on one of the dates? [j/k] Perhaps he's waiting for you, to test you? I'm not one for games but maybe you should call him on it and just ask him out to dinner, something more 'serious' Link to post Share on other sites
Deirdre Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 im in a similar situation actually. he asked me out a few times over a spend of a few months (once a month) rather than weekly....as in formal dates and we hang out often after work - rather impromptu style, and everyone thinks we're a couple (he never denies when other teases us) but he hadnt said anything (as in did not really spell it out) im still sorta confused over his actions Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 if you feel uncomfortable asking him directly, why don't you just flirt alot and give him the proverbial "encouragement"? flirt outrageously, lead the conversation to the point of where the next logical step is asking for another date, then just look at him expectantly and smile and wait for him to ask you out. If he doesn't, act disappointed in a campy sort of way. If you ask him, and he is that shy, you will start a pattern where you are the initiator. If that's OK with you, then fine. Link to post Share on other sites
BlahBlahQueen Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 How about being passive-aggressive? Link to post Share on other sites
Author luvtoto Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 Well, it's another day and still no date. He did comment on how nice I looked today. I curled my hair. Other than that...not much communication. We work in different departments, and I don't see him much during the day. It would look too obvious if I just started camping out over by his desk. I can only think of so many excuses to go be by him. So, the only chance I get to talk to him is when he's coming to work and when he's leaving. He always stops in my office both times for a small little chat. I don't really want to be the initiator here. I am old-fashioned I guess. It's his place to make the move. If he doesn't make his move pretty soon...my coworkers are gonna start budging him. Trust me, I am being very nice & encouraging. He's got to know that I am not going to reject him. No wonder he's been single his whole life...poor guy. Thanks for everyone's advice. I'll keep you posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author luvtoto Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 He just asked me out again on his way out the door today. He's taking me to lunch again. He gave me a rundown of his entire schedule. He is really busy! I think I like that. A man with a plan. He has two jobs. So, when he leaves here he heads to the other one. Responsible guy. He said his weekends are busier than during the week, because that's when his sporting events are held. Has anyone ever started dating someone, but their busy schedule just got the best of them? That is normal I guess in this day and age. Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 How about being passive-aggressive? made me laugh lol Link to post Share on other sites
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