ICS Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Can someone help me understand why girls often hide their feelings from guys even though it does more harm than good? Are guys really expected to be mind readers and tap into the brains of their significant other?? Why do girls do it? Link to post Share on other sites
centered Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Can someone help me understand why girls often hide their feelings from guys even though it does more harm than good? Are guys really expected to be mind readers and tap into the brains of their significant other?? Why do girls do it? Hide their feelings? Huh? Not only are women more likely to verbally express their feelings than a man, but they are also more likely to physically express their feelings (touching, kissing, laughing crying, smiling, etc.). But you did say "girls" so maybe 8-year-old females fit your criteria for emotionally inhibited "girls." Maybe you can provide some details about the experiences you've had? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ICS Posted September 6, 2005 Author Share Posted September 6, 2005 On several occassions in the past 3 years, my girlfriend had been telling me that everything is ok when in fact there's a huge change in her life. For example, there was this one time when she had a big fight with her friends because of me and then decided to not put me first anymore and just let things die off. For that duration of time, she was definitely different, but whenever I confronted her about her feelings, she would always make up excuses and tell me that all is fine and there's nothing to worry about, up until when I become deeply angered because I know her better than she thought. Sadly though our relationship couldn't survive too many of those scenarios and it came to an end. Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Sounds to me like that was more to do with your ex, than the majority of women! I know I always talk openly and honestly with my bf about every part of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
SmallWonder Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 ICS - I happen to be one of those woman that internalizes everything, even while knowing it does more harm than good. Some things I just can't say, no matter how insignificant it may be. I think that myself, and perhaps other woman who do this, aren't just doing it to the men in their lives, but to others as well. Personally, I have a hard time sharing personal feelings and things with my parents, as well as my friends. Maybe it has something to do with the way I was raised - don't complain, work hard, things always are better tomorrow. Therefore, if my friends complain about this and that I nod and sympathize, but I don't share in the whine-fest. Maybe because I know my emotions are like a wave - up and down. If I verbalize something and it comes out mean or harsh I may hurt the person I'm talking to. And then five minutes later I think, "Why did I even say anything? I'm not mad anymore and now they're hurt from something I said." But I do keep things bottled up, and occasionally have a good cry in the shower. My ex husband would see me upset and if I snapped at him he would say, "I know this isn't about me. What's really bothering you?" For me that was a good approach to take. That was the one thing that could make me open up. You could try the same thing? I don't open up to the new guy in my life yet because I don't know how long it will last. If I pour my guts out and we're not meant to be, then there's all those personal things floating around out there. So now, even when he pisses me off, I don't feel we're at a level where I can truly express how I feel, even though I feel TOTALLY COMFORTABLE with him. There's that trust level that has to be built. Okay, I know that for him and I to trust each other we have to open up, but still...... It's not just your girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 It depends on the person... I don't tend to open up too much to people that I initially date. Admittedly, I'm not great about talking about my feelings in general either, even when I've been with them for years. At some point I just tend to freak out and then where does that leave me? In trouble, usually! So, your gf is definitely not the only woman out there who isn't so great at expressing herself. I do think that it has something to do with how you were raised and whether or not anything tramatic ever happened to the person though... Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 Why I tend to keep things to myself... The biggest reason being *drum roll* Because I know what my BF can deal with or handle and what he cannot. I have found (and God knows my Dad has told me enough times) that Men (and when I say Men I mean the Guys I've dated) do not wish to talk about the relationship rather they want to have one... does that make sense? My BF I think would rather have a root canal then to have to talk about how he feels... so a lot of times when I have something on my mind I wait and decide if it's worth talking about later OR if I'm going to get over whatever was buggin me once I've slept on it. In your case (the OP) I would say your GF was giving you the run around trying to decide IF she wanted to keep the relationship or not... My 2 cent's Link to post Share on other sites
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