Sam2020 Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 Some of you may recall my frustration on OLD. Well guy #3 who I thought ghosted me (he did so for a few weeks) messaged me and apologized for not contacting me sooner. He said that his mother has been in town for the past few week and will be with him for two more weeks. Said he is still interested and to "please be patient". I have not replied yet. He does sound sincere and I asked a guy friend of mine who also said the guy sounds sincere. BUT, the thing my friend noticed was that #3's age preference was from half his (#3's) age through his age (he's five years younger than I am). My friend also said "If he really was very interested he would have messaged me much sooner since he would have know that his mother would be in town." Plus I did notice that #3 was online checking (his green dot would light up solid green or have a green circle. I see that when I was in my own mailbox reading messages from other guys. That makes me wonder. If he was checking the site on a daily basis, why would he have not messaged me weeks ago? I mean overall I let it control me in any way. But I'm curious as to what others think about this situation. And I'd appreciate not being put down as in previous posts. I really don't need scoldings. Link to post Share on other sites
Saracena Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 Had you two started dating? Agree with your friend. Also his online presence you noticed. I'd not respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 He's not that interested and trying to keep you on that hook for whatever reason. He can't text while his mom's in town? He can't take a few hours away from her for a quick coffee, since she's there for over a month? His "mom" is likely another woman he's not sure about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 ... My friend also said "If he really was very interested he would have messaged me much sooner since he would have know that his mother would be in town." ... Plus I did notice that #3 was online checking (his green dot would light up solid green or have a green circle. I see that when I was in my own mailbox reading messages from other guys. That makes me wonder. If he was checking the site on a daily basis, why would he have not messaged me weeks ago? Pretty much true. When I turned my profile back on during the break up I did check it frequently, kind of like I check news feeds, e-mail and messages. But I was kind of not ready to get back into dating so didn't get back to any messages for 2-3 weeks. Nothing about them, just me not being ready to jump back in. So didn't message then disappear, just on-line and not responding to anyone. I will say that once I message I don't just stop then reappear weeks later. If things come up in may take me a day to get back to someone, but if really into them it doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 If you're not even in his chosen age preference range, I don't see the point. Sounds like he likes young as he can get and wants no one older than him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sam2020 Posted September 8, 2019 Author Share Posted September 8, 2019 I mean overall I let it control me in any way. /QUOTE] Okay, I meant I WON"T let it control me in any way, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 Because you two are not a match, it's as if you are both scraping the bottom of the barrel. You're not what he wants. And I believe he's not actually what you're looking for either. He's just there. Don't get caught up in the OLD game. Women do much better meeting people in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Saracena Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 Of course you could always tell him you'd love to meet his mother...... Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 Wouldn't it be great to be a tv attorney who traps the bad guy with a subtle trick question that reveals the big lie? He may be lying or not. I don't think it would be very good start to a relationship to fib your way into it. I suggest you keep track of any details he is willing to part with such as his already mentioned length of stay for his mother. If the number of weeks change in some future conversation you will know he lied and can then take righteous and appropriate action. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sam2020 Posted September 9, 2019 Author Share Posted September 9, 2019 Thanks everyone for reinforcing what I was feeling. Done and done Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 Why would you want to be second best ? He is making the story up or at least using her for a scape goat to allow himself to treat you subpar while he dates/bangs others or is finishing up with a current GF Something to think about is he will always treat you second best.. is that what you want ? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 Done and done Just saw the update.. good for you... Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 I would have lost all interest by now. These people who disappear and pop back up later are always a waste of time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 He's out of options at the moment and is now circling back around to you. Don't be his 'back up in between plan' while he cruising for younger chicks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sam2020 Posted September 9, 2019 Author Share Posted September 9, 2019 He's out of options at the moment and is now circling back around to you. Don't be his 'back up in between plan' while he cruising for younger chicks. Yep, that's why it was a red flag. But my frustration was clouding my better judgement. Sometimes we want to deny what is obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisisIt606 Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 Don’t date guys who are attached at the hip with their moms. Weird oedipus complex.... what’s with this “please be patient” bs? It’s not like he’s some prize winning guy to sit around waiting for. Tell him that you’re going to keep doing your thing and once he can part with his mom, he should feel free to text. You’ll let him know then what your status is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 If he were truly interested, he'd make more of an effort despite his mother being in town, if that's even the case. And if he's ghosted you once, there's always the possibility that he'll only do it again. Actions always speak louder than words. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted September 10, 2019 Share Posted September 10, 2019 I would just let this one go. He's just yanking your chain or keeping you on standby. It will probably be one of those situations where you will do nothing but text chat for weeks and never meet. Time waster, move on. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 11, 2019 Share Posted September 11, 2019 What is wrong with Option "1 and #2 guys? Why give #3 any interest when he doesn't seem that interested? Link to post Share on other sites
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