Wanting to change for my future relationships

[somelamedude]

I'm 27, almost 28 and recently done an STD test. I'm waiting for my results to all come back, but so far I've been clean and intend to keep it that way. I've had over 30 sexual partners (2 of whom were trans) and I'm tired of having close calls with questionable women. I'm wanting to make my future prospects wait. After all, a good number of STDs, once you get them, you can treat the symptoms but they're stuck with you for life.

 

 

Will my new views on relationships and sex cause my future girlfriend to have retroactive jealousy? Should I tell her about my colorful past? Would she think that I'm more attracted to my exes and one night stands if she found out I made her wait, whereas a vast majority of these girls I've had it either on the first date or on the 2nd and 3rd?

 

 

I'm getting older and my views on having fun are changing. I really want someone who I could build a relationship with, with no secrets. However since I'm wanting to remain clean from disease I want them to be too (gonna make that a deal breaker). If I do date a girl and eventually got them to be in a committed relationship, how do I go about making sure they're clean? I've read countless forums where women and men lie all the time, and don't feel the need to disclose their pasts and diseases they may carry. Is it absurd if before we start having sex that I want to see test results? Many girls that I've been dating have openly admitted to wanting to date casually (they could be having sex with other guys who may pass transmitted diseases).

 

 

 

I'm not one to sl*t shame, for example if my future wife had double my partners, and had attended sex parties, I could care less as long as she grew out of it, and isn't wanting to force me into her past kinks. This post is to basically get advice on how to be more reserved and how to be smart about starting a good relationship and all that it entails.

[d0nnivain]

Past a certain point everyone has a past. I wouldn't go into great detail about your past or share how you shaped your new views. Instead say something like you were a bit wilder when you were younger; you have taken appropriate precautions & you get tested. Now you know sex is a gift & It's so much better between committed partners. Leave it at that. The more details you share, the more likely she will bolt.

 

 

It's OK to ask for STD testing prior to sex. Then you use condoms for 6 months until you get the re-test which guards against latent developments.