Texting someone you just met

[harnold]

So there are 2 schools of thought when it comes to texting.

 

1) it should be used mostly only as a medium to set up dates. Get to know someone in person

 

2) some degree of back-and-forth to establish rapport before trying for a date.

 

Which do you think is the correct approach? Maybe calibrate depending on the specific person you're texting?

 

 

 

I ask this because many girls I meet are somewhat flaky when it comes to responses/committing to an actual date. I try not to take it personally, as I too am not the best texter and totally understand that someone can see a text and just not want / feel / be able to respond at that particular moment.

 

 

Some will say its because the interest level is not high, but I've managed to get many of these girls out on dates and many have led to great experiences/relationships despite conventional opinion that "shes just not that into you"

[preraph]

If you've already met the girls, then talk to them when you see them and ask them out either via text or calling them or in person. Don't waste a bunch of chat on text or you'll run out of stuff to talk about in person.

 

If you've never met someone, like online dating, then you have to chat a bit, but I would say no longer than a week before asking to facetime chat and then ask them out if that goes well.

[alphamale]

a girl who is genuinely interested in you will say "yes" when you ask her out regardless of what medium you use

[kendahke]

So there are 2 schools of thought when it comes to texting.

 

1) it should be used mostly only as a medium to set up dates. Get to know someone in person

 

2) some degree of back-and-forth to establish rapport before trying for a date.

 

Which do you think is the correct approach?

Depends upon how old the people involved are and if you think they're worth going through changes over just to get a date.

Otherwise, pick up the phone and talk to them. After a while, you're going to get sick of girls who flake through texts.

[smackie9]

How I would imagine if I was dating...

Never met: IM once or twice, then ask me out. Maybe a few more before date. A phone call would be nice.

 

We know each other: Set up date, text just before the date to confirm, save convo for date.

Got cozy after second date, third date pending: Random flirty texts after work, friendly banter, a phone call would be nice.

 

 

 

No, "good morning" or "good night" texts unless there's a conversation attached to it.

[Versacehottie]

I think you should calibrate to both who the girl you are talking to at that time & how you are. If you text game is weak, then don't dp it much. Just try to set up the date and be kind of forward (that's not the right word but i'm searching for what it would be and can't figure it out haha). Boring texting is bad and in that case it's better to have a real life experience with the person as soon as you can set one up. So don't pussyfoot around that part, be bold about it since you don't have much of a text game to fall back on.

 

If she likes to text and seems like she is wanting to, try to talk to her about entertaining and in the moment stuff or what you have coming up, that's more interesting than going through your likes/dislikes, opinions and past stories which you should save for in person to make some momentum and the ability to go deeper, more thoughtful. That's why in the moment stuff or silly jokes is better for text--because it's normal that this stuff is more brief. And don't forget to "build" on whatever you've already talked about via any medium (or in person). Good luck

[malaiyas]

I think it depends largely on how you're meeting them - so much dating is conducted online now that I almost have to assume this is what you mean.

 

For me, personally, I can't even remotely gauge my true interest level in a man until we've established some kind of baseline by meeting in person. Pictures aren't enough. Texting isn't enough. Even a pre-screening phone call isn't enough. I have to meet them, and usually more than once... and sometimes, frankly, my interest to meet the person at all just isn't there, no matter how good looking the person is. Dating requires energy, man.

 

I've found exchanging some messages to see how conversation flows and then moving that momentum to person is the best approach for me. If they take too long to move the conversation from texting to a date, I begin to respond with less interest as I am not looking for pen pals. And there variables, STILL!

 

Good lord, it's all so confusing.