Scaredtolove Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I've dated the same man for many years and the time has come that he wants to live with me. I see the issue being much bigger that is, can we create a life beyond dating because of what I see as his irresponsible financial habits. I don't mean he throws money around but I'm referring to being able to take care of himself in the future as I can from a money stand point. We really love each other but I've always been nervous about this issue and even though he has improved with budgeting and the like, he never really can accomplish the promises he makes to me either because he simply can't afford to or he chooses not to since it involved some additional effort/sacrifice. He tries impressing me that he isn't spending much money (i.e., he eats low cost food, etc.), but something isn't adding up to me b/c he seems to go through most of the money he earns each month. He has a very loving and caring side but I suspect he has had an issue with money most of his life (and so has his mother who spent every dime her husband had before he died). I wouldn't mind taking care of a few things for him but I just have a feeling his money woes will get a lot worse if he were to live with me b/c he would feel more secure that we made a commitment as a couple no matter what the issues are and it is much harder to throw him out of my (house) and life. If he and/or I aren't interested in just dating each other the rest of our lives is the only other option a break up? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 No. Don’t. If you break up because you won’t move him in you’ll find out what he was after all along. That alone is a good reason not to move him in, not that we should have to test others because that is a sign of a dysfunctional relationship, but if you’re unsure that this may be the end of you two together then you definitely should not move him in. It’s a very big step to live together, you certainly shouldn’t take it without knowing it’s 100% the right decision. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
malaiyas Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 If you already know there is a financial divide, then it's best to stay right where you are. Money has a way of ripping even the strongest of relationships to shreds. Living together will undoubtedly exacerbate this. If you have to question moving forward, you probably already know the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 We don't share the same definition of "Dangerous". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 not sure if I want to throw another curveball in the mix, but is he a gambler?? in the broader scheme of things, I think you should stand by him, you have a loving relationship, this money issue should not be insurmountable. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 How many times are you going to start the same thread talking about the same thing over and over again? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 They have been reported...again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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