cloti Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Hello. Im making this post in order to move on from this guy, since its been a long time and im not going to pursue anything with him. This happened a few years ago, I was 17 he was 23 and we met at the local gym. He was supposed to help me with my workouts, a friend of mine recommended him to me, since he was very hardcore and I was a beginner. At first I wasn’t attracted to him but as we started to spend a lot of time together I slowly started to like him more and more. I was very shy so it was unusual for me to spend so much time with a guy but it was SO easy being with him. We would talk about so many things and he was super fun and easy going and there were times when we would communicate just by looking at each other. So of course i fell for him hard. So hard that just by being around him my whole body would tingle. It didn’t help that when he had to show me how to do some exercises properly he would get way too close. There was this specific triceps exercise that we did that because I wasn’t doing it properly he would grab my forearms and hold them and at the same time he would stand so close behind me that I was feeling his whole body and his breath on my neck. Needless to say I was so distracted that I never learned how to do that so he would have to hold me every time. It was a viscious cycle . Anyways, he would also touch me occasionally and he even walked me home a couple of times. He never acted like that with the other girls from the gym and he even told me once when a girl asked him to help her that “ he doesn't like those types of girls” . I never asked him anything so I don’t know why he said that to me. And I knew he didn’t already have a girlfriend, I wouldn’t be hoping for anything if he had. So this lasted about a year. And the thing is he never did anything more than that. He never asked me out. I tried to initiate a couple of times but i was being very vague so it’s possible he didn’t understand my intentions. And after that one year out of nowhere he started dating this girl, and I obviously backed off and stopped seeing him. I met him a couple of times after that, he seemed happy to see me and asked me about my then boyfriend who he knew. And that’s that. I don’t want to get together with him, this is just something that to this day baffles me, because I don’t know why it didn’t work out, it felt so right at that time. I really think i was in love with him, because I’ve never felt this way with anyone else. I just want some closure so I can move on. Why do you guys think it didn’t happen? Did he not like me back? Was i too young for him? Did i have to be more forward? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Hello. Im making this post in order to move on from this guy, since its been a long time and im not going to pursue anything with him. This happened a few years ago, I was 17 he was 23 and we met at the local gym. He was supposed to help me with my workouts, a friend of mine recommended him to me, since he was very hardcore and I was a beginner. At first I wasn’t attracted to him but as we started to spend a lot of time together I slowly started to like him more and more. I was very shy so it was unusual for me to spend so much time with a guy but it was SO easy being with him. We would talk about so many things and he was super fun and easy going and there were times when we would communicate just by looking at each other. So of course i fell for him hard. So hard that just by being around him my whole body would tingle. It didn’t help that when he had to show me how to do some exercises properly he would get way too close. There was this specific triceps exercise that we did that because I wasn’t doing it properly he would grab my forearms and hold them and at the same time he would stand so close behind me that I was feeling his whole body and his breath on my neck. Needless to say I was so distracted that I never learned how to do that so he would have to hold me every time. It was a viscious cycle . Anyways, he would also touch me occasionally and he even walked me home a couple of times. He never acted like that with the other girls from the gym and he even told me once when a girl asked him to help her that “ he doesn't like those types of girls” . I never asked him anything so I don’t know why he said that to me. And I knew he didn’t already have a girlfriend, I wouldn’t be hoping for anything if he had. So this lasted about a year. And the thing is he never did anything more than that. He never asked me out. I tried to initiate a couple of times but i was being very vague so it’s possible he didn’t understand my intentions. And after that one year out of nowhere he started dating this girl, and I obviously backed off and stopped seeing him. I met him a couple of times after that, he seemed happy to see me and asked me about my then boyfriend who he knew. And that’s that. I don’t want to get together with him, this is just something that to this day baffles me, because I don’t know why it didn’t work out, it felt so right at that time. I really think i was in love with him, because I’ve never felt this way with anyone else. I just want some closure so I can move on. Why do you guys think it didn’t happen? Did he not like me back? Was i too young for him? Did i have to be more forward? He has self-control and doesn't go after jail bait . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Author cloti Posted May 7, 2019 Author Share Posted May 7, 2019 Sorry i did not specify but where I’m from it’s not that uncommon to date 16-17 year olds. I remember when I was 13 I had classmates who were dating guys in their twenties. But yeah, he could have been uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Sounds like a trainer alright. Sounds like he liked you as a friend or he'd have asked you out. He told you he didn't like girls that asked him to help, and you didn't, so he wasn't afraid of you wanting more, so he was friends with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Sorry i did not specify but where I’m from it’s not that uncommon to date 16-17 year olds. I remember when I was 13 I had classmates who were dating guys in their twenties. But yeah, he could have been uncomfortable. Uncommon is one thing, illegal is another. 17 is underage legally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cloti Posted May 7, 2019 Author Share Posted May 7, 2019 The age of consent here is 14, but as i said he could have been uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 The age of consent here is 14, but as i said he could have been uncomfortable. Where exactly is here? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cloti Posted May 7, 2019 Author Share Posted May 7, 2019 Where exactly is here? Bulgaria. I know, pretty low, but it is what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 If he knows the age of consent where you live is 14 he could have asked you out if he had wanted. He was looking at you as a friend he was trying to help. Probably the other girls were more obvious with their attraction to him and it turned him off. He is probably the type who likes to chose and go after the girl he wants and that's why he now has a gf. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 It's possible you misread his intentions, and he may have just felt a connection to you, it just wasn't romantic. As preraph said, he may have just seen you as a friend. And as a trainer, it's part of the job to be nice. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 When you feel intense attraction to a person it is very easy to project all your feelings onto them, so just because you have all these pent up emotions you assume he is feeling the same. Here he acted completely professionally as per his job, and nothing happened. I guess he was just not attracted to you or he already had another girl on his mind, or he prefers not to mix business with pleasure. Link to post Share on other sites
emeraldgreen Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I'm with Elaine on this. Sometimes we create "signs" to validate our hopes. "He opened the door for me and he didn't for another girl". Either that or he was crushing on you a little but maintained professional and eventually pursued someone he could have an age-appropriate relationship with. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 It's possible he had dated someone young before and it didn't work out too well, so he wasn't going to go there again....he just enjoyed your company. Did he want to smash you? Oh ya no doubt...romance? doubt it. Link to post Share on other sites
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